Am I the only person who wants to be cured?

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I don't want to be cured, I just want to be accepted and treated with respect. I don't, however, think NTs are inferior or that no aspie should ever want to be different (although wishing for a cure that doesn't exist doesn't really seem like an emotionally healthy thing to get stuck on).

It's so ironic that people with an AS dx are often considered aloof or not even wanting social relationships... from what I'm reading here, and from the pain of my own experience, nothing could be farther from the truth. When one wishes for a cure though, is it from the AS itself? From the social consequences of one's non NT behaviors? From the prejudices of NTs who can feel justified in treating one 'differently' or even inappropriately through their ignorance etc..? What exactly is it that a 'cure' means? I've noticed that a lot of atypicals (people with HFA and Aspies etc) do find their 'place in the sun' later in life.

Devil Kisses, If by getting a cure, do you mean you wish you were effortlessly NT, then realize that you would be sacrificing all the insight, understanding and life experience you have gained and will garner all your life for being yourself. I'm not sure of your age right now - how old are you? Not to put too fine a point on it, but when you complain that people treat you 'younger' than you feel you are, this is a common side effect of an AS childhood and adolescence. It's because the AS person often appears to be delayed in their development...sometimes they really are delayed age wise. Not developing speech or other communication skills at the NT rate is a diagnostic characteristic. But this does not mean the AS person is not growing...AS people simply grow differently. You can learn to mimic NT behaviors, but it takes conscious work and it does have its rewards. NT's usually have no idea what autism is or what it means to be on the AS. Why should they? Perhaps you have to ask yourself if you are acting the age they are treating you? And parents almost always treat their teens younger than they want to be treated - this goes for totally NT families as well!

You are obviously insightful and intelligent, or you would not be in this conversation and you also have the job (or opportunity, if you see it that way) of integrating yourself into the world you live it in, in a thoughtful and conscious manner. It might feel like you have no choices, like autism has cursed you with a heavy load, like you are being treated poorly - these things might even be true to some extent...but please trust me, it can get better and when you do 'come into your own' - and I expect you will one day - you will be a unique and fully human be-ing in a way that an NT can never understand...A 'successful' NT can sail through life on automatic pilot. They don't question themselves, they don't need to...and they also can be quite happy never realizing they are on auto-pilot.

To gain respect, give it to yourself and others, to gain acceptance, accept yourself. If you don't like something in yourself, work hard to change it to a form you might like better - if it fits - keep it. If it was a phase - let it go and accept the learning. You know this stuff already though....to quote YOU!

" I feel like there is an NT girl trapped inside of me that is begging to come out. The best I can do is get into the habit of acting like an NT."

What would a "cure" even look like? The idea of viewing ASD as a disease to be cured is so foreign to my worldview that I don't even know what "curing" it would mean.
I'm not being flip, by the way. I genuinely don't understand this line of reasoning and would like clarification.

The ideal cure would make me read body language more easily and my improve social skills. It would make my body language more normal so NTs won't notice anything "different" about me. It would make me obsess less and not have as much sensory issues.

I don't think its something to be cured, just a difference. Yes its hard but so is everything. We just have to work it out, like everything. You wouldn't ask a black person if they want to be cured of dark skin, would you?

Some black people want to be white.

And we all want to be the pretty, popular girl or the handsome, athletic guy but it doesn't mean there's something to cure, other than envy.

I embrace myself the way that I am, because that's the way that God wants me to be.

DevilKisses
I just got a copy of John Elder Robison's ' Be Different' - which seems pretty good, though I have not read it thoroughly...He addresses some of these issues. There's a fascinating thing called mirror neurons in the brain that are key to how people with these automatic social cues operate. Apparently, a spectrumite's mirror neurons either work less, or work differently or are fewer or whatever...I don't know if there's any relationship with the sensory issues though.

An old lady up the road told me that about my son. My son and I were out walking and he had run into their house from the street through their open door and into someones bedroom!
So we got talking. She said it was Gods will that my son is Autistic and cannot speak etc. I don't necessarily believe that, but I suppose its possible too.
She gave us lollies though so that was good

According to my mom I was completely normal before I was 18 months old. If god exists he probably would have meant for me to be completely normal like I was before I was 18 months old. Since that didn't happen I doubt his existence now.

I was always told God is Good, God is great, God knows best, God is perfect etc. I went to a Catholic school so we got that cheezy line like every day, my point as a kid was if God was so great how come he messes up so bad and makes kids like me? Some kind of crewl joke? after all one of his souls has to live a life time like this.

I think I have come to terms with this now, I don't hate God anymore, just don't give me the God is perfect line, or maybe since were made in his image he might be an aspie too? My tried thoughts for the morning.

This might have been better to post on the haven because I suspect a fair few people would be a little less understanding of your situation. With that being said, I'm going to respond to this as it does tangentially relate to some of the issues in this section.

Some of the things you list are not intrinsically linked to ASD. Stuff like being infantilized by others is the result of stigma, which is an action someone else makes. The AS didn't make them do that - they have the reason to be able to not do it. People's ignorance is not your disability - it's theirs.

Now I can empathise with a few of the things that you talk about. You mention feeling like you have to work a lot harder to be able to participate in social situations and manage day to day life. I can totally understand the frustration that comes with that. I would love to not have to work so damn hard all the time to keep up.

But it seems you are most concerned with fitting seamlessly into society and not having your cover blown by weirdos such as myself. I don't know a single person who fits this arbitrary category of 'normal'. Even those who have no neurological disorders have their own eccentricities. And even if you do manage to find this fantasy "normal" group that love and accept you, the rest of the world doesn't care whether you fit or not, just like for everyone else. Most people stay in their own little bubble and don't care about anyone else is doing. If they do somehow lose respect for you or try to judge you based on your disability, then maybe it's then that need to change.

So let's say that you do somehow acquire a cure for your autism....will that make your life insta-better? Not necessarily. What if you get cured of the disability but are still considered "weird"? NT's also experience exhaustion trying to hide who they truly are. It might make life a little easier or even a lot easier, but never delude yourself into thinking that NT's have this really easy life. Most of them don't. That's not an intrinsic quality of being neurotypical - it's just how life is for most people.

The question of whether to cure autism is a hypothetical load of nonsense. There is no cure and even if we did have one, we don't know its properties. But, okay, lets go hypothetical. If a cure means helping me overcome my difficulties, making me more independent and able then sure-I'll take it. However, I have no idea of how much of me is influenced by my neurology. I know I have my obsessions and certain behaviors and thought processes, but if my disability had any influence on who I am as a whole, then maybe a cure would change me. If a cure means losing all of the other stuff, then no. Plus, this alleged cure could have dangerous side effects and I don't want to subject myself to that.

You're totally entitled to your opinion and I'm sorry you feel this way.

I know how you feel OP, about not fitting in anywhere.

I've accepted the fact that I'm different from everyone else and I think not doing so is similar to being in denial (not saying you are).
In my case I found that it was pointless in the end to want to be like everyone else in the world since I never will be, and really, based on what I've observed in "normal people" and how I have been treated by some of them, I'd rather not be like them. Especially since these days people tend to ignore morality, manners, respect, tolerance (real tolerance, not that crap people spew about what it is these days), and probably a few more that I'm not thinking of atm.

Amen to that.

This planet (or the universe, for that matter) would not be interesting if it weren't for the oddballs, the freaks and the geeks.

Have you ever considered the possibility that God really has a plan for your life? I grew up in an Evangelical Fundamentalist church. It is only after I left that congregation for the Lutheran Church (and even then, with a lot of questioning of myself,of God, and lately, a lot of prayer), I think I finally found meaning.

No, I don't claim to have THE Answer. Like the Prophet Elijah, you need to listen for that still small voice.