I left the Catholic Church because of Autism Speaks

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I wouldn't go as far as that. Basically your view is: limitations = barriers = autism = disability and unless an ASD person advocates from this basis, they can't be expected to be taken seriously.

People can advocate from a neurodifference perspective and have, and have been taken seriously.

I respect your opinion though it seems to me you are stating that opinion as fact.

Everyone faces limitations and barriers in life. I think there is a greater risk of us not being taken seriously when we endlessly harp on about ours, to the exclusion of all else, as though ASD conferred not a single positive thing, and gives the impression that we all totally lack the capacity to participate in "normal" life.

I am relatively near the end of my life, in retirement, I have participated fairly fully in "normal" life - career, family etc - and although it may have been harder for me to do that than NTs, and required more dedication on my part, I don't consider myself to be defined by your equation of limitation = barriers = autism = disability. Of course there were barriers I had to overcome. But the barriers were external, not part of my personal identity.

I don't ask or expect you to agree with me (you won't) and we will have to agree to disagree here.

Mostly I believe in having nuanced and gray discussions instead of black and white ones. Sorry if I come across as if I believe I hold the sole facts; that would be because, I guess, I'm "selling," in a way, when I write.

My father lived a full life, but not the one he had the potential to, and I saw how that ate at him; I don't think he ever understood WHY so many things didn't seem to go his way (he was never diagnosed with ASD, but I am POSITIVE he was). He was limited by his quirks. A disability doesn't have to stop you to be a disability; it might just send you on a detour, instead.

I have hearing loss. But most people will never know it or notice it. I still go to concerts and plays and movies and meetings and talk on the phone, etc. But everything is "less" for me now, since hearing aids can never restore normal hearing. No one would argue that my hearing loss is NOT a disability. So what is so different? That, really, is all I am asking people to think about.

Example: My son overloads easily, it is a processing issue. Part and parcel to the diagnostic criteria for ASD. He has the intelligence and interest to be in every AP class offered and to thrive in a top tier university. But because of the overload, he can't handle the workload. He can't allow himself to get stressed because, if he does, he will meltdown. In meltdown, you aren't in control and he is terrified of what he might do in a meltdown; when he was little he was quite self-destructive in meltdowns, and he has learned to recognize the signs leading into them and self-calm. And a lot of work load creates those signs. So he had to drop one of his AP classes even though he really wanted to cover that material, and he often has to leave homework unfinished, which hurts his grades and, thus, his chances of getting into the university he wants. The ASD in this way is keeping him from doing what he otherwise wants to do and is capable of.

You know, he's growing up in a community that 100% accepts him and is willing to meet him on his terms. He has thrived, he really has. Because of that, we get to see what is from the ASD in pretty pure terms. I know that in most of the world that isn't true, and the outside barriers are so many that it becomes impossible to know if there are any internal ones, but we've been lucky to face very little of that. The barriers my son is running into are internal and clearly ASD related. And this is a super high functioning kid that the school considers a model for special needs success, who graduated from his IEP and all services.

We aren't the only ones. There is a reason he can apply for and get a special room and extra time on his SAT.

I agree that in most of the world the perception battle is still the most important one to fight. But at some point we have to accept that the condition is diagnosable for a reason. I'm not an ignorant parent who doesn't already know all the points you've made. I've been in this community for years and was a moderator here for a while; I used to believe the mantra whole heartedly. I understand my son and have gotten the world to meet him on his terms. But now we can see that even with all that, there really is more. I didn't want it to be that way, but it is.

I have no idea where you get the idea that I might be suggesting you've got a cover story. If that somehow came across, it was a mistake.

I don't want to argue about this, although I did want to make a point. It is still pretty raw here, the realization that, "wow, son, what you have just described to me IS a disability." As a parent I want EVERYTHING for my child, and we've just run smack into a wall that will exist his entire life.

Who knows if that wall be would be there in an entirely different society; we don't have the luxury of living in a completely different world, now do we? In the world that he will have to make his life in, he is limited from reaching his own goals and dreams by factors related to his ASD. Simple fact. A pretty depressing realization to come to, but we recently have. And I HATE it. He has an easier time accepting it than I do, and maybe that is my problem, but I see all that potential, all that ability, all those gifts, and like all parents I had hoped he would have an easier go of getting those recognized than all the family that has gone before him. But he won't, for what really amounts to the same reason that has hindered all the family that has gone before him. It isn't a crisis, but it is the loss of hope, of what every parent wants for their kids: that they have it better than we did.

And I have no problem saying that maybe most people are disabled in some way. I don't have a problem acknowledging that because most people don't let their disabilities define them. So my son and I found ourselves in a conversation realizing that, "wow, that IS a disability." It isn't like we've written off his life; he isn't letting it define him. But we had to put that label on it so he could know what road to take next. You don't go down roads you don't have the right tools for, that is just common sense.

As I said, maybe I'm just extra sensitive on it right now, because this is something that really hit us just this week. He's at the age he has to make choices that are likely to set the rest of his life. And the roads he would most like to take, well, he doesn't have the tools for them, and the reason is his ASD. It isn't an easy place to be.

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This thread has meandered a long way from where it began, so since we are already off topic:

While reading the last few pages here, what I kept remembering was the most inspirational school teacher I ever had. We were 8 years old, and she told us the ultra-inspiring story of Helen Keller - and how the life of this "deaf-mute" changed because one person believed in her latent ability, and Helen seized that chance and made the absolute most of it, becoming the first person who was both deaf and mute to graduate with a university degree.

I know many people at WP will not have heard of Helen Keller - before their time - though you can look her life up on Wikipedia, if you are interested.

Also what has come to mind for me during this thread is an inspirational quote from Sir Nicholas Winton: "I believe that if a thing isn't absolutely impossible, then there must be a way of doing it".

Both of their life stories illustrate for me "possibility versus impossibility thinking". We have different views on that at WP, which this thread has comprehensively depicted.

Mormillas, I've read your post, but either I am not getting my point across, or you insist on misunderstanding it. You want to fight, it seems, because you use fighting words. I want to debate and figure out the nuance and maybe reach some reasonable middle, figure out what I'm supposed to think now and what it all means, given that I HAVE come to realize that the militant position isn't really solving anything for my family, at least. Regardless, we are obviously at an impasse, and your personal attack was uncalled for (I consider suggesting that I've abandoned all logic and reason to be a personal attack, yes).

An issue that I think squarely belongs on the agenda for that conference is the obvious one of economic exclusion.

The imposition of recruitment practices designed for NTs by Nts are very discriminatory against the whole group on the spectrum - perhaps amounting to millions of people worldwide.

The complete failure, thus far, to acknowledge ASD needs and offer options at recruitment effectively ensures ecomonic oppression.

Nt's show their bias for their own kind clearly- the preference for oral interviews, panels with everyone expecting eye contact, open questions, more than one person firing questions at you.. ASD people have never been considered at all as to how to level the playing field. Perhaps because they don't want to employ people they privately label in insulting ways.

This is an urgent and very neglected issue: how to extend equal opportunities based on talent, ability to do the job, training etc. to candidates on the spectrum. We are not all geeks who can work in silicon valley.

Meanwhile the invisible gatekeeping continues, unchallenged and accepted as "that's just the way it is" - which translates to "and that's the way we Nts like it".

If you don't even recognise the right of people to basic equal rights like this, forget about all the hot air about how to offer support etc;
when people who say they want to "help" and then ignore the core things like equal rights, they just comes across to me as hypocritical
and if they extended equal employment opportunities to us, then there would be much less need for NT "support and help".

Help is often the sunny side of control, especially when practiced by dominant groups on minority groups.

Secondly, this conference needs to deal with the issue of stigmatisation of ASD people which - again - the NT's who want to "help" us at the conference will no doubt ignore. Oppression thrives when priorities that serve the dominant group underlie initiatives like this conference. Excluding ASD people simply underlines what the real agendas are.