Neurodiversity

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Human beings are hung up on difference. We can't really help it, it's the way we operate. From the moment we speak our first words, we compartmentalise and distinguish - cat or dog, boy or girl. It's fundamental to the way our minds handle information. If we didn't learn to break the world around us down into manageable categories, we'd be lost in a soup of unconnected data.

It's also a defence mechanism. Similar feels safe, different feels dangerous. Difference, we presume, equals conflict, and we may be proven right many times through our own personal experiences. Naturally us humans seek out those who are similar to ourselves, and avoid those who are different. How we define similar and different depends on us individually, maybe it's culture, maybe it's interests, maybe it's intelligence, political views, maybe it's class or race, or a mixture of many of these things. And within our sub-groups and sub-divisions we often develop our own nuanced ways of communicating that are special to us, and that others find alien or exclusive.

Many of us learn to see past superficial differences of race, some can see beyond differences of culture or faith. But to step beyond neurological difference is something many humans as yet find difficult to achieve. What makes this so difficult? And what can we in the autism community do about it?

Neurodiversity isn't just difference in belief, or preference, or appearance. It's difference in the fundamental operation of the minds of individuals. Autistic and non-autistic communication channels operate at different frequencies, so much so that fundamental empathy breaks down on both sides. Just as we find it almost impossible to imagine the mind of a non-autistic person, so such a person finds it almost impossible to put him/herself in our shoes. We are often mutually frustrated at each other, and of course, the minority becomes isolated. In our anger, we tar all of our neurological cousins with the same brush, and despair that things will ever be any different.

I do not believe that the attitude of neurotypical people is due to some innate evil, but rather that it's due to the same socially conditioned ignorance that creates intolerance between all kinds of groups in human society. The cure for ignorance is education. Education assumes that the child does not yet know, but has the potential to understand, at least at some level, if he/she is encouraged and is taught effectively. In order to change our own reality, I believe it's necessary to work with the possibility that many neurotypical people would be willing to be more understanding, if they were encouraged to do so. This has certainly been the case with many other differences. This one is a little harder to explain and to understand, but that's no reason not to attempt it.

We have to decide whether our future lies solely in isolation, or in reaching out to neurotypicals and working to change attitudes. Actually, the two goals are not mutually exclusive. In my own experience, nearly all of my friends are aspies, and I rarely spend social time with neurotypicals. However, I do work alongside them as colleagues or fellow students, and I've found that, believe it or not, on the whole, they are willing to learn, and to try and understand.

We can have a thriving autistic community, one that also engages with neurotypical people, in such a way as to bring great benefit to both sides, but only if we can forgive them for their ignorance. That's not a religiously motivated statement. It's just that you can't teach someone you hate. You can't educate someone you believe is fundamentally incapable of receiving the information. And if we come to the conclusion that "they just aren't ever going to get it", then maybe we need to question our own perspectives about difference.

Neurodiversity implies that it's ok to be whoever we are neurologically, be it autistic or non-autistic. Racial equality means that we are all equal, whatever skin colour we are. Equality for gay and lesbian people means that we are all equal, whether heterosexual or homosexual. There are those in all camps of difference who believe that self-isolation is the answer. But progress has only been made by those who sought to reach out across boundaries of difference and foster understanding between people.

We all owe it to ourselves to take on this task. We may have to fight, with those who won't listen. But with those that will, we must be willing to work, whatever their shortcomings in understanding. Only we can teach them what we need from them, and what we need to change. We cannot blame the neurotypical community for misguided priorities or bad service provision unless we're willing to take responsibility, not only to argue with or criticise, but to constructively and positively change the attitudes of those whose intention is to help us, however misguided their efforts may be at the present time.

The humanity that is required of us, to set aside our personal experiences of bullying and isolation in a neurotypical society, to believe that they can do better if we show them how, is immense. But we already know we are capable of it. I believe we can do them more justice than they may have yet shown to us. And I believe we could be proud of ourselves for doing so. Many will say, "why should we?" Or will say, "they started it!" And maybe they did. But only we can finish it. And only if we can step beyond difference and believe that ignorance has time and time again been defeated in the hearts of men, by those who were willing to believe in the prevailing decency of human nature.

One day in the not too distant future, a young mother-to-be will be told that the genetic tests on her unborn child show that he is autistic. And she will be asked to consider whether or not to abort that child. It's coming, and we can't change it. What we can change is the mind of that mother. We can educate her that she can be proud of her autistic child, and that he has a right to a future in this world just like anyone else does. But we all of us have to start NOW, and we have to fight positively. It's our survival as a part of the human story that's at stake.

Anyway, just some rambling thoughts. Make of them what you will

I agree.

I agree as well. I was actually thinking today about how the neurotypical views the neurodivergent, and I think a large part of it is the idea that behavior is entirely self directed is very deeply rooted. Just like an alcoholic will struggle and tell himself he ought to be able to drink in moderation even if he knows it's out of his control.The NT may know and accept intellectually that autism is a matter of wiring and because of that wiring an autistic will respond differently than they expect, but the reaction of the NT is still going to be gut level. I hope that makes sense. If I'm not being clear just ask me specific questions to clarify what I mean.

Absolutely, and it's a great point. We can't write them all off when the basic way that they're responding to us is instinctual. They just don't get the lack of eye contact or the style of interaction... to them it spells some kind of danger. They can't help that. Unfortunately, with the more insecure NTs, attack is often the chosen form of defence, and that's where the problems begin.

We all react to difference. We can't help it. But a great deal of what comes of that is dependent on the person who is being reacted to. I used to have a partially deaf friend at school. He would always joke about his hearing aid with anyone new that he met, and somehow that would be the end of it. He was never picked on or bullied, although the potential for him to be a target was huge. He lived in the real world. He accepted that there was something different about himself that other people would inevitably react to, and he diffused it before it even began. He taught me a very important lesson.

As autistic people, we don't have quite the same luxury, due to communication differences between us and our potential tormentors. But it's all about attitude. If we reject others on the basis of their initial reactions to us, how are we ever going to make the connections that will make changes in attitudes? It's not just about waving a banner, or protesting in some conceptual sense, it's about how we act in our everyday lives. Some people are always going to be as*holes to us, but there are plenty more who just aren't quite sure how to react. All they need is to be given a fair chance, and a bit of encouragement. It's amazing what happens when you believe in people.

Well, I don't know if I'm AS ( my son is) but I do know that I'm not NT. I've had that pointed out to me repeatedly over the years. Things started getting better when I stopped resenting the observation and just shrugged my shoulders and had a laugh about it. Once they realize that I'm OK with being different things get a lot more relaxed.

I would like to be able to live in peace with NT's and in most cases, I can. I was a chameleon in their world trying to remain invisible and camouflaging my true nature. Now rather than living as one of them, I have decided to become an ambassador for us. I started with the general population and then their professionals (A.B.A.'s, mental "health" workers, therapists, etc.). After that, I worked my way to one of their television reporters. NT's get much of their perspective from the 'news." on the TV. I have explained some of our talents (generally speaking) and in places, our shortcomings (again, generally speaking). I also try to explain how and why we NEED each other (spectrumite and neurotypical). So far, most people have been generally accepting of what I have to say. I get to explain some of the things my Aspie students are doing at our local center and some of my life's accomplishments.

I don't like division. Division only makes people easier to conquer. By stressing things we have in common and working to turn our differences into positives is a good way to start. I've even have had a chance to speak to parents influenced by enemy organizations such as Autism Speaks. As someone who is "severely" autistic, I have at one time or another met almost every single stereotype associated with autism. I am now a successful moderate to high functioning adult with expertise in many different fields of study. When parent's fears are turned into hope, they become open to the possibilities that their autistic child will become much more than what they have been told. When this happens, parents can become more active in molding their child's future in a way that is more suitable for the child. The common people both spectrumite and neurotypical are going to need each other more than ever for what is coming in the next few years.

I have total respect for what you're doing. We are the greatest ambassadors for ourselves. If we leave it to others to speak for us, we can't expect a great deal. I've spoken on radio before, and I'm training up to be a speaker for the National Autistic Society in the UK. Not all of us might want to be involved in that kind of formal presentation, although I think anyone who feels they could has a duty to put themselves forward. But whatever our situation, every day we are presented with opportunities to change the attitudes of the people we meet, even in small ways. In many senses, that's the work that really counts. And that has to start with a positive attitude toward the people we're trying to teach.

I totally agree about the future. We are the single biggest wasted resource on the planet. We have so much to contribute, and yet these boundaries of difference prevent us from doing so. Some us become so despondent that we no longer have the faith in humanity to want to work toward a common future. Whilst I can fully understand where that comes from, we have to realise that our own strength and power lies in our capacity to put our personal experiences of NTs into perspective, to understand that their responses are the result of conditioning, and to believe that they can change for the better if we remain willing to engage with them.

That's a pretty good speech you made there.

I really like your post. But intolerance isn't always because of ignorance. It can also be cuz of selfishness and power hunger. Politically correct thinking wants to deny that, but that's a huge factor in all types of discrimination. It's not always hate or misunderstanding, it's also contempt. As long as we're seen as weak or inferior, we will always be easy targets.

And as you said, the difference isn't belief, preference or appearance, but the difference goes as deep as our perception and the way we process things. Not only does this make us harder to understand, but it also makes it easier for people to rationalize their injustice towards us and/or distort the facts and take advantage of the basis of our differences.

What I mean by the latter is let's say an Aspie is at a funeral and doesn't express empathy in a way that's understandable to normal people. A psychopath can pick up on this and defame the Aspie, even if the psycho is aware of his neurological difference.

I agree that there's always going to be people who won't listen and who won't change. There are people who will always prey on "vulnerability". And where that's the case, I'm all for standing up to them. But I think a lot of people just don't understand, and would be willing to try if given a chance.

Perceived weakness brings out two reactions in people, either to protect or to destroy. Many (but by no means all) people would like to think that they would respond in a positive way to what they would consider "weakness". Of course, we don't see ourselves as weak, just as having a different profile of strengths and weaknesses, so we need to explain this to those who have positive intentions, in order that they can support us in the ways that we need. In turn we can support them in the ways they need from us. It can be very much a two-way thing, as Alex Plank's interview with Tyler Cohen on this site demonstrates.

Some people will always act as you describe. My instinct is not to respond to them directly, other than with defiance. In India there's a proverb about feeding milk to a snake.... it only increases the poison. My feeling is that the more we address those who are willing to listen, in a positive way, then the more those who treat us negatively will become sidelined in society and eventually treated with contempt themselves.

To give an example of logic - it's never worth arguing with someone who won't listen, but it's always worth debating with someone who is.