This is really disturbing, especially when I think about how I must look to other people when I'm out walking. I don't drive, and I live in an urban area, so I frequently travel places on foot. I have extremely poor proprioceptive and spatial skills, which means that it doesn't come naturally for me to walk in a straight line. I can walk in a straight line when I focus on how I'm walking, but I'm not going to spend the entire duration of a walk thinking about how I'm walking when there are so many more interesting things to think about. There are also places I walk to on a regular basis that are a mile or more away from where I live, such as my job, and my parents' place. I'm not going to spend the entirety of those walks thinking about how I'm walking. Thus, I don't walk in a straight line, and this has attracted comments on occasion. I also tend to have a somewhat awkward gait, which has also attracted some comments. I once had a complete stranger tell me to "pick up my feet" when I walk. Additionally, I tend to spend a great deal of my time out walking lost in thought and not completely tuned in to my surroundings. I've also noticed in looking at photos of myself that my eyes sometimes randomly slide completely out of focus. I'm sure I frequently look drunk or stoned when I'm out walking places. I definitely attract some looks, and the occasional comment. Even so, I've never been apprehended by the police, though. I suppose one of the perks of being female is that people are less inclined to perceive me as a threat.
I suppose it's unsettling to many when someone is behaving in a way that's considered unusual, and most people find drug and alcohol abuse easier to make sense of than neurological differences, so they tend to jump to conclusions accordingly.
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"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad./ The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."