Feedback desired

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I would like feedback on my representation of AS's and NT's in the story im writing and publicly posting

Here

Yes i am aware my grammar and formatting is frankly horrific, editing is a secondary priority right now.

Thankyou

OK

Free entertainment, Thanks!
I'll get back to you after the read.

ummm, did my writing style burn out peoples brains? :S

Been another update, i think im just going to keep going with this.

Im Also hoping it might catch the interest of some TV people, i think it'd make a great series.

so yes feedback PLEASE!

K i read the first chapter and you have a good start. Nice intro of main character, setting, all that jazz. Still haven't gotten to differentiation of NTs and aspies though. Will read more later on.

I'd like to point out that although it does make sense to save the polish for after the actual structure is worked out, it's also somewhat difficult to read in this state.

Where are we supposed to read this?

Dandelion:

I can certainly appreciate that, i just simply lack the english and editing skills to do it as i go I also dont want to "lose the story" as its going by quite fast.


li:

http://scribblesnwriting.webs.com/

ignore the chapter menu its kinda ToDo.

Kia, would you like help with the more technical aspects? I can look it over. I can fix spelling/grammar issues and call your attention to logical problems. (Depending on how prolific you are, of course.) That way, you won't need to put that particular kind of attention into the first draft.

I may take time to edit, though. So I might fall behind you. But... well, want some help?

Alright, then I need to know what channel you'd like to use to communicate. I can go over the existing chapters as you post them and PM you my corrections and comments as I make them. Will that work for you or would another system be better?

No, you may not promote me to deity. You can fawn over me if you like, though.

And I'd like to be clear on exactly what you want.

Grammar?
Spelling?
Plot holes?

I'll do all three (can't help you much with character, though), but if you'd like to specifically exclude one or ask for something else, I can do that.

I don't know how fast I'll work.

Dandelion:

hmmm okay fawning over your wonderfulness i can do, chocolates? XD

Grammar is my biggest weak point, as is the mysterious things called paragraphs.
I've a tendency to "talk-write", I.E throw the rules i half know out and just write how it would happen or be said, as such trying to read my writing out to a class or a group would be.. unhealthy. (breathing is good)

Plot holes to me = To be filled later, any missing details is usually intentional so you'll keep reading to find out, so if they can be left alone please.

Spelling = using a UK spell checker so, more different than wrong.

Chapter by chapter is good, finding a 'chapter' is the hard part, i write in bulk unfortunately, the chapters i have was going back over it and about a thousand words (word count is great) adding the line "Chapter #".

Easy going with the method of communication, MSN and file transfers, PMs *shrugs* whichever is easiest for you, your doing me the favour here.

Everyone else:
Still very interested on perspectives of characters like Ramirez, Sanata and Oakley. Am i conveying "AS's in the workplace being themselves instead of faking NT" right?

Chapter 2, (Chapter 3 features a domestic disturbance call NT Jaffes and AS Oakley has to deal with, a meltdown) Chapters 4 to Chapter 11 is a to of talking and explanations given by residents of the island to Jaffes (who's knowledge of AS/NT etc is about global average)
Chapter 12 see's Oakley partly take the lead in a raid. and then goes on and on into another visit to Decruise and Sanata, in which Sanata is 'playing' NT. Chapter 4 - 11 at this point is kind of the 'Main' part, I'd appreciate feedback on.

I know with this i can make two big errors, over or underestimating AS, i want to avoid doing either in this portrayal of NT's and AS's working and interacting on a 'level' playing field, a place we're a lot of slack is cut for each other by both sections of the society.

I'm a little shaky on British English, but I'll try. It may end up a little Americanized by accident, but I'll try.

I'm shaky on paragraphs myself. All I know are the three basic rules (new paragraph when someone speaks, new paragraph when topic shifts and new paragraph if the alternative is a Wall of Text).

I can help find better chapter breaks than every thousand words, although I'm a little shaky on that myself.

PMs will work fine. (Formatting may be iffy, though.) I'll go over what you've got and send it to you corrected.

No checking for logic. Got it.

I didn't see some of the movies, so I get "lost in translation" with some of your references. Other than that I am enjoying it. I enjoyed the first 5 chapters so far. I named your book "Jaffes Spirals" By Kia Williams and put it in my phone with my other books so I can keep reading at my leisure. I will keep you posted.

I finished reading what is there so far. I like your writing style, and thoroughly enjoyed what I read so far. It is a very good story and I am looking forward to more. I hope you will continue writing.

Had to take two days "off" to help out a freind with something, i found it frustrating not having the time to write, but baring RL issues will be back at the OpenOffice word processor tomorrow.