"Four Misconceptions About Asperger's Syndrome"

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Here is the link to my new blog.

“Four Misconceptions About Asperger’s Syndrome”

http://dwarren57.wordpress.com/2011/03/ ... -syndrome/

What is a misconception people have about you? How do you react to it?

People automatically think that I am good at math and science, when I am not. I'm better in English.

I remember that I met this one person who just assumed I liked to be alone and hated talking of any sorts. She was educational assistant and would always respond to me like this:

Me: There is a bee bothering me.

Her: (In stern voice): Well, sorry, I can't do anything about it.

I was just mentioning that there was a bee bothering me and she automatically thought I was asking for help. She seemed to think that I only talked when necessary. She talked to the other students, but she didn't ever talk to me.

Off the top of my head, I'm not sure why you assert that the cause of Autism will never be fully understood, nor a cure implemented, or why you assert that Aspies necessarily desire social contact, or Aspergian teens are more empathetic than their NT peers...

why do you say that?

B/c not ALL people on the spectrum want typical/possibly any human contact. I know I didn't desire any until I was 18-19...

I went to a typical public high school during my freshman and sophomore year, and I didn't want anything to do with my classmates because I couldn't let go of all the bitterness from the bullying and harassment from people. Because of this, people harassed me more. I decided I didn't want to stay at my public high school for my junior and senior year. It wasn't good for my safety and well being. I went to a full day technical and academic high school. (It was the counties vo-tech school). I was around people who I had things in common with, and for the most part I felt respected and liked by the teachers.

I felt more comfortable talking to people who had things in common with me. I enjoyed being in an environment where athletics and extra curricular activities are not the main focus.

I wasn't referring this to all people on the spectrum. I didn't want typical human interaction during my first two years of high school. I had a therapist who kept pushing me and shoving "normal" human interaction down my throat. It actually made me feel scared to interact with people. I went to a new school, and that changed my way of thinking about people in general.

Just the opposite I was told that's how I was wired. The idea that professionals just try to normalize people is not true all the time. I've never had a professional that said those things to me the past 10 years.

That's how my therapists were. They taunted me about "the real world" and they demanded me to change. One therapist I had threatened me that he was going to work with me until I was 21. I finally got sick of him and quit working with him.

''3.) “Children and teenagers with Asperger’s are violent”.

This is another one of the stereotypes that we can thank the media and Hollywood for. Do you remember the kid in my TV production class who told me I looked “just like a serial killer”. This was due to the fact that I didn’t talk to anybody. I ignored him after he made this comment because he was purposely trying to get an angry reaction from me. I remember John Elder Robison’s book “Look Me In The Eye”, the very first chapter described how people would say the same things to him. People threatened him with the military and jail. they often called him a “sociopath” and a “psychopath” One quote from the book said “I’ve read about people like you. They have no expression because they have no feeling. Some of the worst murders in history were sociopaths”.''


This one aggravated me to a considerable extent. Not only do I find this as a common misconception affiliated with Asperger Syndrome, but I was frequently accused of this very misconception, about a year ago. Bear in mind; I do not resemble the likes of any potential 'serial killer', and I am what many regard to as a 'nerd', appearance-wise, and I am also very thin, so one could imagine that I appear anything but threatening. The accusations were partly due to the fact that I experience frequent zone-outs, a symptom derived from Attention-Deficit Disorder, in which I am then rendered oblivious to the fact that I am staring at another individual directly. I had told a close friend about me having Asperger's, but unfortunately, she had turned on me for reasons unknown; and had then spread the message around. No-one bothered to talk to me after that. And I had heard comments behind my back, such as ''she's scary'' and ''I wouldn't be surprised if she brought a gun or a knife to school'' when I have no history of any violent intentions, or physical assault. I do not intend on ever hurting anyone. I have known several of those whom have Asperger Syndrome, and they are anything but violent. I am one of them.


Also, I undoubtedly agree on the author's comments with misconception #4.

Last edited by WeirdAlYankovicFan on 26 Mar 2011, 5:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

I want some, but I seem to want a lot less than the average person.

Derek - how do you feel about the comment left on your blog post? Just curious...

Ironically, I've encountered more misconceptions about Aspergers from ASPERGIANS than anyone else.

"No sense of rhythm"- my 7 years in a successful music program say otherwise
"Terrified of public speaking"- if only I'd been diagnosed when playing the female lead in theater in front of 750 people!
"Absolutely inept in the use of sarcasm and non-literal language"- not exactly.
"Clumsy"- yeah, no. I'm downright graceful for a fat person.



All of this despite the fact that three psychiatrists have done a "cold" read on me- where I don't even mention anything about Autism, yet they ask by the end of the first visit, including one who's notorious for scoffing at the explosion of diagnoses as the result of frivolous application of diagnostic criteria. My verbosity, and half-assed attempts to make eye contact, as well as ZERO facial expression and a peculiar cadence in my speech sets off all the alarm bells, apparently. I really knocked the socks off of one by instantly telling him what day of the week the same date of the next month would be, (my mom taught me a trick for knowing when I was little) so I let him think he'd found the next Good Will Hunting/Autistic savant til the next visit. (That's another misconception, I guess, or maybe a misPERception.)

I'm reading your blog, Derek, and it's positively enfuriating.
(SOAPBOX TIME! )
as*hole therapists are one thing, but this is a genuinely incompetent individual.
"You will enjoy high school much more if you come out of your shell, laugh and become a friendly person. "
Um....
it kinda works like this:
Enjoyment, happiness, sense of safety > laughter, friendliness, coming out of one's "shell"
Those are external SIGNS of the happiness that PRECEDES THEM.

This is on the same level of idiocy as telling a seriously-depressed person to "just smile".

I'm getting to be real fond of the 'spectrum' analogy... the puzzle piece symbolism. We know the autistic brian is wired different - not just different from the NT brain but also from each other.

I have no sense of rhythm (but that runs in my family!)
I can train a room full of hundreds of strangers yet I can't hold a one on one dinner conversation with someone I've worked with for years.
I worship at the alter of sarcasm and snark. Really. I get it. But don't ask me to identify someone who's be sincere or deceitful from a face to face. Give me some processing time alone and I can peg people pretty accurately.
I am kinda clumsy - just randomly losing my balance at times. But I had no trouble learning to ride a bike. And I have VERY nice handwriting.

(And judging from that pic Bethie... you are NOT fat... )



But I laughed and I was friendly... I didn't have a shell. I still couldn't keep friends. I still can't keep a job. I'm still derided and pressured to 'change' my behavior to make others happy. It gets old after a few decades especially when it doesn't really work.

It gets to the point where some people ascribe every single eccentricity about themselves to their Aspergers, I think.
I'm a redheaded leftie. ASPERGERS! I have a MASSIVE forehead! ASPERGERS!

A faceless crowd is entirely different from a one aquaintance interacting with you. Maybe this is why the theatre and public speaking was easy for me- I could literally talk to hundreds of people far easier than I could talk to the person with the locker next to mine.

I can employ snark, but I sure as heck can't recognize it. I get trolled/mocked/other stuff all the time and don't realize it til much later, and in some cases, never, I'm sure. In elementary school, somehow the other kids were able to deduce that I couldn't tell when someone was not being genuine, and that wasn't good.

If I had a dollar every time I was told to "come out of my shell", I'd be very well off. People saw that I was very anxious and afraid of people, didn't talk very much, and rathered to do things on my own, but that didn't mean I didn't want friends. I think what people meant by coming out of my shell and having fun is that I was in a "shell" because I was scared and afraid to open up. And they were right, I was, and still am. If my anxiety level was high, I was even more quiet and scared.

Some people said I looked like a serial killer, a stalker, or someone who would bring in a gun and shoot everyone, just because I was too anxious to socialize and look "normal". Since getting the job I'm in now and working with a large group of people, my social skills have improved, and in some situations my anxiety is reduced, but I'm still pretty much the same way, except with a slight improvement. It hurts to be looked at very negatively, especially when they'd say I looked like a serial killer or stalker, or someone who would bring in a gun and shoot people. And what can you say to that? You can tell them that they are wrong, ignorant, idiots, etc, but when you are really not good at "comebacks", you really don't stand a chance. I obviously ignore these idiots and think very lowly of them, but it still hurts, especially when you try very hard to be a good person, and stick to that even though you get walked on in your life.