I am proud and happy to be myself.
Saying I am proud to have Asperger's seems as nonsensical as to say I am proud to be a woman or have green eyes. It is just one more arbitrary classification of human that we use to divide ourselves into groups. But the truth is that if you go back far enough, we are all related, all descended from the same ancestors. We each think of our "self" in a different way depending on culture, sociopolitical factors, individual preferences, transforming personal experiences, books we've read, films we've seen... We are as unique as we are interdependent and connected, and so any division between us is ultimately arbitrary, any label an abstract concept that we all too frequently confuse with the ineffable reality itself.
On the other hand, feeling shame for having Asperger's makes even less sense. Unfortunately, when we are given the label we are also given the distinct impression that we should feel shamed by it. It's like we are supposed to carry this shame around with us all the time, like the lead weights put on racehorses as a handicap to weight them down. If we forget we are supposed to be ashamed of who we are and start acting like ourselves, flapping our hands excitedly when confronted with the marvel and wonder of our world, then it is made clear to us that we are deviants and our responses inappropriate. Apathy and boredom is considered the socially desired default expression of inner state, unless the stimulus for excitement is the presence of other humans, in which case squealing and shrieking is acceptable. In the case of rock concerts, throwing panties or other undergarments is also considered acceptable.
If we are all unique, with varying degrees of perceptual sensitivity, who determines the "appropriate" response to a stimulus?
I accept a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome only as an identifier of human type, not as a demotion to something subhuman so people who are too lazy or fearful to think out their own identity and place in the universe can comfort themselves with a philosophical fairy tale. You, me, Australian aborigines, hedge fund managers, Native Americans, Maori, Europeans, Mexicans, Republicans, Democrats, rich, poor, white, black, man, woman, child--all human, part of the same shared life form, connected with everything else in the universe. For almost as long we humans have been drawing a line in the sand between "us" and "the other," like choosing white or black on a chess board. But the line exists only in our imaginations. It is fine to divide ourselves up into tribes, teams, but don't make the mistake of believing the other side's trash talk. It's a game we've been playing for so long, we forget that it's a game and mistake words and concepts for reality.
24 Jan 2011, 3:49 pm
