Coping with an intollerent society? How do you fare?
This is not so politically aligned but real issues some of us might face. This is simply what I have had to deal with and was wondering if others have had a similar struggle. I have had this on my chest a while and wanted to vent to people who might be a little more understanding about why this is so frustrating to me.
I spend the majority of my time in my own little world escaping the mundane reality of life. I often am isolated as I am to odd for others. I always had trouble looking people in the eyes. I feel like I am naked in a room and it kind of hurts in a way. I can't stand it. When I was younger I would get under the couch cushions or a bed because the pressure felt good. Often I want a hug simply to alleviate this need to press up against something. Even when I sleep I need to hold something to feel the pressure. I never knew why I was so strange in that. The odd thing is I normally can't stand being touched. I absolutely cannot stand anything sticky as it literately drives me insane and for some reason I have this obsession with washing my hands or just wetting them. People always asked why I do that. I just have this hate of having dry hands for some reason yet I cannot stand lotion as it feels gross to me. I don't even know how to cope with my condition as I get labeled with being emotional disturbed and ADHD (during school in California). I often feel overwhelmed with trying to fit in and thinking that everything is fine only to find out I am hated by a lot of people because I don't act like them.
My last job was a living hell as the guy I worked with hated me for being different and couldf not get past his thick skull I could not help what I was. I was harassed in that job quite a bit by the other two PT's. Kind of a miracle that I was even in that job as we had to deliver things. The town was small so I was able to navigate to some places but other than that I used a GPS as my directional ability is so finite its rather sad. How do you cope in the work place when people simply don't understand the struggles you have with social interaction and continue to degrade you for being different. My bosses did not care as they were more concerned with the lack of workers they had and I was pretty much told to suck it up after I had been threatened multiple times by a hot head. I don't know. I digressed into a rambling but not many people understand the direction as to why this was so stressful and depressing.
I always knew I was "different" but I am sick of the cliched just think positive and it will all go away and what not. I find that to be a lazy response by the selfish public to refuse to see an existing condition and make accommodations so the person can cope with it. No matter how many times I try to explain to people that I am different and people misjudge me all the time and think I am just making things up in order to excuse what they consider simply negative behavior. Apparently I have a consistent monotone sound and people like to tell me how I am feeling a lot when they have no clue. Your angry, your depressed, etc. Do people think I am lying when I try to explain to them how I REALLY feel. I guess that's why I am often off put and in a bad mood is trying to tell people I know how I feel and don't need to be told what I feel.
OrangeCloud
Snowy Owl
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 163
Location: West Midlands England
I think it's just the fact that NT's are so poor at empathizing with us. This results in them not catering for us very well in the workplace, and misunderstanding everything that we say and do. We are supposed to be the ones who lack empathy, but NT's empathy with is me is just as bad if not worse than my empathy with them. I've lost count of how many times I've been feeling quite happy and NT's have asked me "why are you so p****d off?"
And that really annoys me and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and I actually do feel p****d off
yamato_rena
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 21 May 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 176
Location: United States
And that really annoys me and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and I actually do feel p****d off
Similar thing happens with me a lot. NT says "Why are you so upset?" when I'm not upset. Then we spend a good few minutes doing variations on "I dunno what you're talking about" back and forth until we both decide to forget it and I go back to daydreaming.
I know exactly what you mean. I wish people would quit telling me how I feel and let me tell them how I feel. I am usually in a bad mood because people tell me I am in a bad mood when I am not. I don't like smiling get the freaking heck over it. I could not tell you how many times I have been told to smile. Some friends of mine at church would sing this embarrassing song about smiling to me in public and when I get embarrassed or uncomfortable it makes me smile for some reason. Smiling does not imply happiness with me, only embarrassment and discomfort or occasionally when I am laughing. Sometimes I want to hit someone who is trying to puppeteer me into something I am not feeling just because they cannot read me. No matter how many times I tell them they can't read me and not to bother trying they do it anyways.
I've noticed. That's why their is a war to get real recognition to help us with the deficiencies we have. I mean for people in wheelchairs they have ramps and auto doors. For people with visible struggles they have commodities but for those who have trouble just living in though many of us have brilliant minds and strong capabilities we get laughed and told we are making this up despite many of us having consistent symptoms and the piling evidence. Awareness must be brought to the attention of the public and make it a crime to continue to abuse and take advantage of us.
ChekaMan
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 17 Aug 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 184
Location: Whitstable,UK
OrangeCloud
Snowy Owl
Joined: 24 Jul 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 163
Location: West Midlands England
It's really difficult to get accross to society what are needs are, unfortunately we are really poorly understood. So no matter how much advocate and try and raise awareness, people and institutions will continue to discriminate against us without realising that they are doing it. We will continue to run into uncomfortable social situations around every corner, and continue to be unfairly excluded from things that should be our right.
Advocacy and raising awareness should be coupled with autistic people supporting each other. Without this, therre will always be a degree of misunderstanding. Only autistic people can have a fair crack at really understanding the needs of autistic people. Charities, scientists, friends, employers try, but are still failing woefully in my opinion.
And that really annoys me and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and I actually do feel p****d off
This is sanity.
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