Elaine33, you can't just take the bad parts. How about if I say, okay, I want to take away the part of you that wants so badly to socialize, oh, and make it easier for you to have an obsessive focus on something? I mean, that'd just be removing the bad parts, the ones that cause you so much pain. Like, the ability to feel lonely. The ability to grieve. Those are both painful and you don't need them. Let's take them away. Let's cure you. I, after all, don't suffer from any of your deficits, and all I see of them is how much pain they cause you. I don't want to change you. That's just making life easier. Curing your deficits.
If you want to get rid of meltdowns, bear in mind there's a reason for all of them. The only way of reducing meltdowns that's worth doing is FIRST improving the environment and SECOND teaching coping skills. If you want to "cure" them away, how? Would you make him stop reacting to bad things? Stop caring? Or would you alter the way he perceives the world on such a fundamental level that he can no longer perceive that there is anything that bad? Or would you change what he considers bad and good?
You didn't think of that. You looked at it as a black box. "This is a meltdown." As if it happened in a vacuum, as if it had no cause. Stop doing that. Maybe in another decade, sooner if you're lucky, he'll start EXPLAINING why things happen and how they look to him.
Most of our suffering "because of autism" is because of being autistic in a world where it's not accepted. Look, it's not exactly a huge imposition for you to grasp that some people have very strange mannerisms. It's not a huge imposition for you to do exactly what I say when you clearly want to make me feel better and I'm communicating very clearly how to do so. That's why we need to educate ignorant NTs. Or, you know, secede and form an Aspie-only country. Whichever plan ends up seeming less impossible.
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I'm using a non-verbal right now. I wish you could see it. --dyingofpoetry
NOT A DOCTOR