Daily Mail writes a kind of ASPartners article

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your impossible husband actually autistic? Research thousands of British men have gone undiagnosed Undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorder may be cause of marriage trouble

What could have been enlightening article about all the undiagosed they turn into a pity party. And they call us special snowflakes.

That's funny because I've just seen a thread posted on ASPartners claiming that that same article "trivialises" what they go through. I've read the article and don't think it's insulting. It talks about a group that's intended to help couples where one partner has AS but if it's intended to help make those relationships work and promote understanding of the AS spouse rather than trying split them up then I'd consider that a good thing. It's not the same as forums like ASPartners where AS people are demonised.

I find the comments puzzling, pretty much many are calling it normal and saying it's part of being a guy.

I didn't think it was that bad because they did say some positive things about autism and it sounds like they are trying to be understanding of autistics.

If they are trying to understand Autism they are doing in the worst way possible which not even bothering to talk to the autistic husbands. The way this is written the husbands are not people they are problem called autism so they are unworthy of contributing to discussion of a topic that involves them greatly. There are NT/Autistic marriages where the wife is the autistic also as well as wife wife, husband husband marriages.

That isn't true, the workshop that they're talking about is kind of a mixed group and they do get the input from AS spouses. Also, if they don't have a diagnosis then usually they themselves don't know that they have ASD so it would be hard figure out exactly what the issue is.

For something that's saying that they aren't worthy of having a discussion with they sure are saying some positive things about them jeez:





Do those quotes sound like they come from a place where they believe autistic spouses are just problems?

I thought it was a reasonably balanced article. Writing about the autism spectrum is very difficult because our strengths and weaknesses can be so different.

I reread the article and all I can conclude is that we are reading two different articles. The husbands suspected of bieng autustic and the autustic husbands were not quoted, NOT ONCE, NOT ONCE. The writer, editor or whomever else was involved in writing this article decided the observations of the suspected/autistic husbands involved were not worthy. While this is far from the worst Autism article I have read, it is fundamentally flawed. Are our expectations that low that if an article is not complete fear and loathing we do a happy dance?. Call me an elitist ND advocate or whatever but I think "Nothing about us, without us" is a necessary thing.

I don't understand how they can be 2 different articles. The 2 quotes in my last post were directly from the article that you linked to.

What I meant is it is the same article but it might as well be 2 different articles because we are interepreting it completely differently. If you think an article where they are discussing autistic or suspected autistic/NT marriage and the suspected or autistics involved are not quoted is not fundamentally flawed we will never never never agree.

Yes, it reads like gossip between women--Its a newspaper FOR WOMEN.

According to Wikipedia.
It was at the outset a newspaper for women, the first to provide features especially for them,[8][9] and as of the second half of 2013 had a 54.77% female readership,[1] the only British newspaper whose female readers constitute more than 50% of its demographic.[10][11]

The picture of the smiling couple is really helpful--this is what most readers will remember.

I am not offended by the lack of an autistic voice in the article. It's not about autistic people, it's about spouses of recently diagnosed people and how it has effected them.
The article was positive and hopeful. These are spouses who are making an effort because they care about their autistic partners.
Autistic behaviour is hard to live with. I know; mine ruined my marriage. To ignore the difficulties of living with someone on the spectrum is unfair.

I quess I am just clueless and out of date but or maybe it is just an American thing but do not the women readers (and the 47 percent of male readers not an unsubstantial minority) of the Daily Mail want to read about the feelings of the men from the men?

The article is about "mixed" marriage and that involves two people. It is not ASPartners which for thier many flaws are honest about who they are for.

I do not know about "offensive" , like I said earlier I have read a lot worse, but I will usually believe any article about autistics is FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED unless the opinions of those on spectrum are given. There are always exceptions the autistics involved are too intellectually disabled to express themselves, the article is a personal/opinion column and other situations I can not think of ATM. Expertise is usually welcome but they should not speak in leiu of the people involved, they should complement the people involved (or visa versa).

I might be wrong but I highly doubt an article about mixed race marriage in which only the white wives and an "expert" on mixed race marriage are quoted would go over well at all. But everybody seems to think it is ok for suspected/autistics?

I guess our motto these days is "Anything about us, without us as long as it is not mostly or completely negative".

Yes, my guess is that the reporter had enough trouble tracking down an attractive couple in which the guy was actually diagnosed--let alone finding one in which the guy was actually articulate and could express his feelings on the relationship.

In this article, if the perspective of the autistic partners was explored, it would be a fundamentally different article. I do not want to see political correctness determining what people write about. This article is about the partners of autistic people and their experience and coping strategies. There is no reason to add another element.