Website against Asperger's Syndrome: HeartlessAspergers.com

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While doing random searches about Asperger's, I found this website dedicated to spread the ''truth'' about people with Asperger's, wich wopuld be that: ''They are incapable of empathy. And because of their lack of empathy, their spouses, partners and children suffer extreme emotional neglect, abuse and significant trauma.'' I found the link on a very similar website dedicated to the hatred of psychopaths instead of Aspergers. The site contains a lot of desinformative articles about the diagnosis and comments of ex-partners of people with the Syndrome who talk about their traumatic experiences with them.

Of course, I know that we can be bad people like anyone else, but this is not often the case and when it is, it's not linked to the diagnosis, and a bad experience with one person can't justify the hatred against a whole community. A lack of empathy doesn't even make somebody a bad person, not even for psychopaths (even if they are more likely to hurt people than autistic people, many or most of them are decent human beings). And we know that an apparent lack of empathy in somebody with Asperger's is often the result of the misinterpretation of other people's feelings. As somebody with Asperger's who knows someone who actually lacks empathy (but is a good person) and as a special interest in ASPD, this insults me.
What do you think of that whole thing?

By the way, this is my first post on the forum, so hi everybody!

Cool. I think I will go on it to debate them on it.

Despite the name I actually found it to be a good site.

I get really sick of people trying to pretend that the symptoms of autism do not effect our interpersonal relationships. Of course they do, and of course we are challenged when it comes to having a partner and a family. Are the people we effect not supposed to talk about it or support each other?

As much as we might wish it were not the case, autistic people are a burden to those who care for them.

some people hates blacks, gays, whites, asians...
i am not surprised, someone seems to need hate to feel alive

Considering that I have effectively destroyed my own sense of self to try to alleviate the burden of being around me and make myself more pleasant to others, I resent the hell out of that. But--whatever. It's a neurotypical world. We will never be more than a pale and poor imitation of neurotypicality; people who are very sensitive to How Things Should Be in that direction are always going to be hurt by our proximity and offended by our existence.

No one is universally loved. You don't have to have a society-wide consensus that you're an OK person in order to like yourself and be an OK person. You just have to decide what OK is (and I hope it includes being basicallly decent, upright, and as kind as common sense will allow) and be it. That's all. Someone is always going to think you are a dingleberry on the left anus-hair of the antichrist. Always.

Don't invite those people into your personal life. Don't "pass" so well that you find out you've moved in with one, become best friends with one, or married one before either of you realizes the facts of the situation. Take personal relationships slow and honest. It won't save you 100% of the time, but it will minimize your troubles in that area considerably.

And-- leave them alone. Let them have their space. We b***h about how sh***y NTs are all the time. We're not all saints. Even the most martyr-like candidate to become a True Saint of Aspergia among us can be a real asshat sometimes. That's called being human.

Let it be a mutual dislike, and let it be.

Wow. F*** that noise. Not much else to say. I hope no ignorant person takes that site seriously.

well i agree with most of what it says on there but then again i've never been in a relationship, nor will i plan to.

They're probably a bunch of drama queens with too much time on their hands.

People who form apserger hate groups are probably ignorant individuals with an axe to grind. The general public don't even know what Aspergers is so it's hard to imagine they have much of a following

much ado about nothing...

This sounds a lot like an old site I found once...I think it was FAAAS or something like that, dedicated to people who "suffer" from a family member with AS. Probably funded by the RNC.

People with Aspergers lacking empathy was disproved ages ago. It's becoming a more popular theory that we're more empathetic than neurotypicals, which makes more sense. I walk into a room and I feel everything everyone else is feeling and feel a strong need to help anyone who's upset, even if I hate them. Neurotypicals, however, don't seem to give a s**t. I've noticed that they only seem to help if it's in their best interest in the long run and seem to say that they don't care about anyone with pride.

I've seen that site.

My own theory about a site like that is that some of the hate aimed at people with disabilities, chronic health issues, or neurological disorders/mental issues comes from people with a working knowledge of, or experience with, the conditions they're spewing so much vitriol about. Sounds bizarre, but I've seen it myself. People who work in healthcare or who even have a disabled friend or family member trying to exclude or deny access to services to wheelchair users, or someone having an idealized concept of what a disabled person is "supposed" to be like and not being able to cope with the reality of the disabled people they meet being real people and not a cool stereotype.

That's the vibe I get from that site- people might have had a bad experience with the one aspie they were with, or perhaps thought Autism was cool until they met a real person who isn't the cool character they read about or saw on TV.

And later "research" I did, plus meeting aspies in real life, makes me think that "horror stories" about being around aspies or the litany of bad behaviors attributed to them is grossly exaggerated or flat out made up.

Just my opinion

I smell some silly and rather selfish people behind that website. Perhaps who saw some quiet, low maintenance individual, launched themselves on that individual with a selfish fantasy in tehir heads which was along the lines of "I will be the special one who brings this poor person out of their shell, they will love me for it, make me the centre of their world, they will be able to understand all me needs and fulfill them, they are broken now by I will be the special one who fixes them and makes them whole..."

And then, the same selfish person discovers that what they saw is what they get. The person they launched themselves at is exactly the way they first saw them, self contained content, because it is the way many of us are and can be quite content to be. Maybe out of chivalry we made the efforts to reciprocate the interests and attention when it was first given to us, but that takes extra energy to maintain long term, and actually, being that close to someone means one should be able to drop any pretence, people ought to be able to be with the actual person not any act they put on.

And so this silly person is bitterly disappointed because they did not get their selfish fantasy, they got what it says on the tin.

These women are supposedly adults. Being an adult involves having some understanding of ones own needs and taking responsibility for them. Asking clearly for example.

I don't want to be unkind though. It is much better to make reasonable accommodations to disabilities. NTs have a blind spot and a disability which is that they are often incapable of using language precisely. Then silly ones play up to that, expecting others to fill in the information which they can not or will not put into clear language.

One also has to ask how many of the embittered people on that site were the ones who initiated things, perhaps spotting their Asperger/Autistic partner as someone who was perhaps a little vulnerable, someone perhaps not socially well connected and thus someone they thought would be very likely to respond to whatever initiation was made towards them. I would call that manipulating a vulnerable person.