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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
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Location: Long Island, New York

08 Dec 2021, 10:10 am

’Blamed for being different’: How autistic children are being 'pushed out of school by parents and teachers'

Quote:
Time is running out for Debra’s* son.

“When he hits 18 it’s too late,” she told My London. “I've asked for help now, for support and understanding.”

Currently, that is in short supply.

Her son has been isolated from his peers at his specialist school and increasingly is blamed for his behaviour.

Debra hoped his severe attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), oppositional defiant disorder and Tourettes would be understood better than it was in mainstream education.

She says his special education needs (SEN) are ignored and when his behaviour is affected he’s held solely responsible.

Regardless of the grants available to accommodate students with different learning needs, parents have told My London children are being blamed for behaviour they aren’t responsible for or caused by not trying to facilitate them.

They say efforts to push children out are being led by teachers, other parents and school leadership.

Mothers and fathers often have to fight for their children to stay in school, with empathy and understanding at a premium.

The reality of the situation is a stark contrast to the rhetoric from schools and government about inclusivity.

Although Debra says her son’s school was not keen on teaching him, they were quite happy to spend the money he brought in.

But she was shocked when she got her hands on the breakdown of what it was spending his £1,000 SEN pupil grant on.

She added: “I was told in one of my meetings at the mainstream school, because I challenged them about the funding, ‘we don't spend the money on your son, we have bills to pay'.

“I asked for a spreadsheet to say where money goes and I saw things on there like ‘meet and greet at the school doors,’ that was for all children not just my son.”

She also saw that every time her son had got a teacher to sign a form he’d been billed.

Malcolm’s* son is only eight, but already he is being stigmatised as a violent and disruptive child.

The labelling started not with the school or teacher, but among the parents.

Gossip spread amongst the mums and dads about his behaviour and he’s gradually being ostracised from friendship groups.

“A group of parents who, unfortunately have children who are all very good friends with my son, have been speaking very disparagingly of him amongst each other,” Malcolm told MyLondon.

“Basically it worsens his reputation and stigmatises him as being a problem child.”

Malcolm acknowledges there have been incidents where his son has misbehaved, been involved in fights or done things wrong.

But rather than that being understood in the context of his ADHD they’re viewed as character traits, he’s considered a dangerous influence they want to remove from their childrens’ lives.

“We've also had a few parents also tell us [we should] think about him moving schools.”

What took Malcolm and his wife by surprise was when this idea was repeated without warning by the school.

Lisa’s* son was amongst three autistic children who were banned from sports day.

Despite them accommodating one boy, in his final year of primary school, for his entire school career, they had suddenly decided that they didn’t have the staff to be able to do so now.

It was one in a series of trips that autistic children had been excluded from by the school.

For Lisa it was another example of the school trying to rid itself of her son. She was told nearly a year ago that thought he should be educated in a specialist setting.

It was one of a series of decisions by a new headteacher.

“There just seems to be a push for the autistic children to go to specialist schools rather than staying in the mainstream,” she told MyLondon.

Lisa’s* son was amongst three autistic children who were banned from sports day.

Despite them accommodating one boy, in his final year of primary school, for his entire school career, they had suddenly decided that they didn’t have the staff to be able to do so now.

It was one in a series of trips that autistic children had been excluded from by the school.

For Lisa it was another example of the school trying to rid itself of her son. She was told nearly a year ago that thought he should be educated in a specialist setting.

It was one of a series of decisions by a new headteacher.

“There just seems to be a push for the autistic children to go to specialist schools rather than staying in the mainstream,” she told MyLondon.

Lisa’s* son was amongst three autistic children who were banned from sports day.

Despite them accommodating one boy, in his final year of primary school, for his entire school career, they had suddenly decided that they didn’t have the staff to be able to do so now.

It was one in a series of trips that autistic children had been excluded from by the school.

For Lisa it was another example of the school trying to rid itself of her son. She was told nearly a year ago that thought he should be educated in a specialist setting.

It was one of a series of decisions by a new headteacher.

“There just seems to be a push for the autistic children to go to specialist schools rather than staying in the mainstream,” she told MyLondon.

When it comes to the reason for her son being excluded Lisa believes it comes down to funding.


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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman