A conversation on facebook
This is about the run the dream campaign (some guy running across canada with an Autism Speaks kind of agenda)
This comment
If you really want to know about autism go to Aspies for freedom or Wrong Planet or Autism Self Advocacy network this man is misinformed and represents the interests of people who hate us we don't have autism, for many of us Autism isn't a disease Autism is an Identity so don't listen to this man He is running against Autism instead of running for Autistics
lead to the below response
Michael Hawn
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10:30pm Apr 3rd
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Keep your negativity to yourself! Although everyone is entitled to their opinion, yours is certainly not needed here. Even if your opinion differs from that of Jonathan's cause, you should truly consider what a great deed he is doing, moreso for humanity, not directly for autism and autistic individuals. If you have the balls to cut him down, I challenge you to try and run even ONE DAY's worth of his journey, and maybe you'll appreciate what he is doing here, and realize the size of this man's heart.
Samuel Sandeen
4:33am Apr 4th
look I admire his resolve and I wish he was doing the run for the right reasons but he has done nothing (correct me if I'm wrong) to combat the idea that autism is a disease.
Michael Hawn
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Today at 5:00pm
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Autism is a worldwide health issue. Whatever you personally classify it is, or hypothesize it to be, is your opinion. But for you to interupt someones incredile effort to do something amazing with your personal theories and negativity is not needed. Find a better use of your time, you're opinion isn't welcome here.
Samuel Sandeen
Today at 6:47pm
see thats just the thing I respect his effort its his focus on the disease model of autism i object to
Your message shows your ignorance Autism is not an health issue
People who think we need to be cured are in the same boat as racists, homophobes and sexists
sadly many are misinformed and i understand he is running based on what the majority believe autism is
But we are just different, I wish people like you could see that
I object to his undeniably incredible show of stamina because he has failed to do his research just like you
I wish people would understand us because yes I am Autistic and based on what you have said I doubt that you are
The reason we suffer is people who perpetuate the misinformation pushed by organizations like Autism Speaks
I am not asking him not to run I'm just asking him to run for autism not against it
Oh and as a special bonus look at this girls idea of who we are
My friend you are sadly mistaken.
Autism, to some may be considered an identity; however, to every single individual with such a demeaning perspective I pray for you, because to accept such a fate or perpetuate one is nothing short of condemnation. However, we now live in a society that is resilent, in the sense that a diagnosis is not the end, indeed... it is only the beginning. Ask yourself this, would the cancer patient ever endure such a transformation from victim to survivor if they allowed the disease to become their identity. Additionally, "individuals with autism" reaches far beyond political correctness - so spare the defensiveness ... rather it is a sign of empathetic respect and empowerment in acknowledging that even those whom are afflicted with such a horrific disease are indeed PERSONS primarily. Autism is not an indentity - its a neurological affliction with no known cause or cure YET... for all of those who cannot appreciate you've no place in this group.
and here is my response to her
Nicole Steele its people like you not the condition that make us (thats right i am autistic) miserable
You believe that what we are is pathetic
You believe we are afflicted that we need to be cured
Autism isn't cancer, autistics aren't a cancer we are different and if you accepted us for who we are then life would be a whole lot easier for us have you ever been to a site like wrongplanet.net
or have you ever heard about autistics like amanda baggs who can't speak but still doesn't want a cure or the savants who can do amazing things
You are like many before you the racists the sexists the homophobes you have no place in our lives you are the cancer in our lives until you finally realize that we are who we are and we are hear to stay
_________________
All of us are computer programs running in a box somewhere I'm just one of the few endowed with the knowledge that it is a simulation. and no one seems to believe me *sigh*
Oh I added this as an afterthought to my conversation with the girl
one more thing we are autistics and people
Just as someone might be french or gay they are people too right so stop condescending
We can move beyond our problems and become better people
Autism has pros and cons so don't presume that for all of us the cons outweigh the pros
_________________
All of us are computer programs running in a box somewhere I'm just one of the few endowed with the knowledge that it is a simulation. and no one seems to believe me *sigh*
I realize this is touchy, but you will get further with these NT's by being less combative. If, of course, that is your wish: to have them "get" your point. I guess that one of things that gets ME, as a parent so frustrated: I see all these conversations on the internet going round and around with neither side addressing the other in a way it can understand, so everyone ends up just fighting back, probably without really knowing why, just that there seems to be a fight.
IF you want them to understand what you are saying, you have to start by explaining that autism is a spectrum, and a way the mind is wired, and that much of what people associate with autism is either the extreme end of the spectrum, or a side condition that isn't actually the autism. That cure implies to you changing someone who doesn't enjoy big social gatherings and sports, into someone who does, when you are perfectly content not enjoying them. That learning to communicate effectively is education, not curing. And so on.
These discussions turn so quickly into buzz words that people outside the autistic communities have no understanding of. Of course they are clueless; they don't live these issues the way you do, they only see the headlines. So, you have to break it down. Slowly, step by step, without the fight words. IF you really do want them to understand.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
I'll add a less combative response if someone else can think of one but i'm not great at explaining this sort of thing
how bout something like this
_________________
All of us are computer programs running in a box somewhere I'm just one of the few endowed with the knowledge that it is a simulation. and no one seems to believe me *sigh*
IF you want them to understand what you are saying, you have to start by explaining that autism is a spectrum, and a way the mind is wired, and that much of what people associate with autism is either the extreme end of the spectrum, or a side condition that isn't actually the autism. That cure implies to you changing someone who doesn't enjoy big social gatherings and sports, into someone who does, when you are perfectly content not enjoying them. That learning to communicate effectively is education, not curing. And so on.
These discussions turn so quickly into buzz words that people outside the autistic communities have no understanding of. Of course they are clueless; they don't live these issues the way you do, they only see the headlines. So, you have to break it down. Slowly, step by step, without the fight words. IF you really do want them to understand.
I understand where you're coming from and certainly can see how you would get that impression. And I do agree that combativeness generally doesn't do anything good.
But I think the problem arises out of a lack of respect exhibited by the "parents" who see their autistic children (and consequently all other autistics) as "damaged." While I can understand a parent's frustrations and tribulations, I see no reason for the parent to resort to calling people she's never met "diseased." If she wants to look at her son as a "serious health issue," that's her own problem (and her son's).
But I see a lot hate from many parents who resort to attacking autistic people who are merely sharing their own experiences and views. I've frequently witnessed a condescending attitude from the same parents who claim to be being attacked for just 'helping their children.' The 'combative' responses from autistics like Aranittara are certainly unfortunate but I think it's an understandable reaction to a group of close minded people who denounce an autistic's views as being illegitimate and at the same time claim to represent the interests of the very same autistic people.
A lot of times these are parents (grown adults) are attacking autistic kids and teenagers out of some sort of psychological projection of their own anger. I think the whole thing is horrible and shameful and wrong, especially considering these people are supposed to be the responsible adults. these parents are not accomplishing anything and are contributing to an environment where autistic individuals feel stigmatized by society. It's not like we have autistic people trying to stop scientists from doing research on autism. I'm sure most of us would agree that science is a good thing.
It's funny that its the "pro-cure" parents who seem to hold the most anti-medical vies. They're the ones who are attacking scientists and coming up with conspiracy theories regarding vaccines, cell phone radio waves, and anything else they can think of. In doing so, they've undermined the publics trust in things that save peoples lives and are contributing to a dangerous reluctance of vaccinations that could very well cause many children to die.
_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social
I guess I can only share what I've learned from my own experience: I get people to listen to me by taking a certain approach. It's the only way I know. Otherwise it goes nowhere. It doesn't matter who starts it, or who is more combative than whom: it will still go nowhere unless someone can find the bridge.
However, I am confused about who is posting to who at facebook, what "wall" this is. I thought the ignorant comment came from a teen, not a parent? Reading back I have no idea why I have that impression, but it is the one I had when I posted above.
I don't spend much time in the world of parents with autistic children. I went straight to the source when my son was first diagnosed: those who have the condition. You all give me everything I need to know
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
However, I am confused about who is posting to who at facebook, what "wall" this is. I thought the ignorant comment came from a teen, not a parent? Reading back I have no idea why I have that impression, but it is the one I had when I posted above.
I don't spend much time in the world of parents with autistic children. I went straight to the source when my son was first diagnosed: those who have the condition. You all give me everything I need to know
he referred to one of the people as a "girl" so maybe it was a teen. I wasn't specifically referring to any of the people he was talking to at that moment but I was talking about the general culture of anti-autism parents who come off as abusive towards people with autism.
Although I've found most parents to have their hearts in the right place. It's just a small group of very vocal parents who give autistics a bad rap.
_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social
Sorry, I'm beginning to lose faith in the "nice way of saying things."
Btdt
True for you, perhaps, but not for me.
Although, I think my determination and persistence comes through at times, no matter how nice I think I am. I've had a few bosses tell me that they sure were glad I was on their side.
It's wierd. There is an undefinable difference. Well, undefinable to me. I don't know how to explain it to someone else, at least on a message board. But I know that A works much better than B. I've had a lot of success initiating changes I want in real life, and I've done it without burning bridges. It took me a long time to figure out, however. Shy teen; obnoxious young adult; finally effective around age 30.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
However, I am confused about who is posting to who at facebook, what "wall" this is. I thought the ignorant comment came from a teen, not a parent? Reading back I have no idea why I have that impression, but it is the one I had when I posted above.
I don't spend much time in the world of parents with autistic children. I went straight to the source when my son was first diagnosed: those who have the condition. You all give me everything I need to know
he referred to one of the people as a "girl" so maybe it was a teen. I wasn't specifically referring to any of the people he was talking to at that moment but I was talking about the general culture of anti-autism parents who come off as abusive towards people with autism.
Although I've found most parents to have their hearts in the right place. It's just a small group of very vocal parents who give autistics a bad rap.
It think we should get together and go bankai on the whole lot of them... this kind of negativity is what makes me a bitter person.
_________________
"Yeah, so this one time, I tried playing poker with tarot cards... got a full house, and about four people died." ~ Unknown comedian
Happy New Year from WP's resident fortune-teller! May the cards be ever in your favor.
THe next to messages in the conversation with the girl
Nicole Steele
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Today at 4:45pm
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Samuel,Acceptance is not the issue here, although I cannot speak for anyone else, I can speak for myself when I say I do accept you (and every person with autism) for who they are ... what you see is advocacy, not in a sense of trying to change the person but rather isolated things they are struggling with.I was not relating Autism to cancer - I was making an anology and the meaning certainly was not that I feel you or anyone with autism is 'pathetic' ... on the contrary.I am not racist, sexist, nor homophobic - and I do not perpetuate the cycle of polarization. I am an advocate for individuals who are struggling with the "cons" or obsticles that Autism manifests in their lives. Not that I believe that pro's don't exist.I knew you had autism when I wrote you that note - I also knew that you were strongly opinionated and good at expressing yourself. Which is why I approached the situation with strong words; however, the first comment you made about "people like me - who make people like you miserable" affected me - I have spent my whole life trying to understand Autism and ways to overcome it's inherent obsticles and perhaps my overbearing advocacy has been born through an overwhelming experience of witnessing polarization and social isolation without the power to change it ... Therefore, it stabbed me to hear that you think I am part of that.I apologize for approaching the situation adversarily; however, my message is that Autism is not like being gay ... because you don't get to choose whether or not you have it ... i commerate your advocacy for acceptance - but accept your person - that's your identity and autism does not obsure that. And join the fight againt autism ... because it is not who you are - it doesn't have to be.
Samuel, please see that my heart is genuine in this matter, I hope that this note has offered a clearer perspective on what I was actually trying to convey.
Write me back,
Nicole Steele
Samuel Sandeen
Today at 5:45pm
First of all some of my NT friends would be offended by the whole gay is a choice thing
Anyways Your comment first comment angered me because of the following
"Autism, to some may be considered an identity; however, to every single individual with such a demeaning perspective I pray for you, because to accept such a fate or perpetuate one is nothing short of condemnation"
Implies there is something wrong with us
and
"horrific disease"
Implies again that there is something wrong with us
and
"its a neurological affliction with no known cause or cure YET"
Implies we need to be cured
To the group of people I belong to these comments are extremely offensive
Therefore your note led to a strong response
I hope you will understand
and I hope you can change your mind about us
more than half of us are apies and HFA and many of us don't want a cure or a genetic link to be found
after all 90% of babies with down syndrome are aborted
We don't want to suffer the same fate
_________________
All of us are computer programs running in a box somewhere I'm just one of the few endowed with the knowledge that it is a simulation. and no one seems to believe me *sigh*
Interesting conversation. That girl comes across as well-intentioned but ignorant about the subject under discussion. It sounds like she was just reiterating what has been presented to her as the proper, compassionate view of autism. It sounds like you might be causing her to question this perspective, whether she admits it openly or not. Just making people aware of a different perspective makes a difference.