Page 1 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

CryojenX
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Biloxi, MS

18 Apr 2012, 9:54 am

All too often in largely NT dominated forums, if i try to express my opinon on a topic that is in any way political, i get chewed to shreds because my grasp of politics is definitely impaired by my Aspergers, but being part of a marginalized minority in some ways makes engagement "outside world" politics a bit of a necessity.

Its so horribly demoralizing when I express my opinion on a non Aspie specific topic, such as energy, and end up getting slammed because someone else is always invariably an expert and im just the naive, ignorant idealist. How am i supposed to represent so people dont constantly say "ive never seen an autistic adult" when just voicing an opinion will inevitably get me slammed down and have a lasting effect on my self esteem?

*sigh*



PTSmorrow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 719

18 Apr 2012, 11:14 am

Made the same experiences even in forums where i didn't tell anyone about AS. They hate me when i say/write my honest opinion. I realized it's just pointless to express my thoughts. If you let them know you're an aspie they will use it against you just to get you shut; if you don't tell them anything personal, they will hold your opinion against you.

I think most NT's just state what they believe others want to hear. That's how their world is working.



vermontsavant
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,110
Location: Left WP forever

18 Apr 2012, 11:39 am

well what types of forums are you going on.it all depends on the forums.what specific forum or type of forum are you on.for instance i would agree that on the generalized disability forums, people with non physical disabilities are hated for sure.


_________________
Forever gone
Sorry I ever joined


NTAndrew
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 280

18 Apr 2012, 11:56 am

I try to stay out of on-line forums. Reading people's opinions often just piss me off and responding to them just gets me into more trouble. For example, on Facebook I have friended people I know in real life. When that person who I get along with pretty well in person starts spouting some goose-stepping fascist philosophy, or religious intolerance, or homophobia, I really want to respond, but I know I will get criticized for it. I guess some people enjoy mud-slinging and name calling and so forth. I don't see a thoughtful exchange of ideas, I see a bunch of big-horn sheep butting heads to see who has the thickest skull.



CryojenX
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Biloxi, MS

18 Apr 2012, 3:40 pm

Ya i suppose my problem is i just need to avoid the forums that tend to be NT dominated. Problem solved, let them tear each other to pieces, more cake for me.



androbot2084
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,447

18 Apr 2012, 3:47 pm

Most neurotypical forums consider me a troll. I usually do not get banned immediately because I am polite and I have a right to an opinion. Yet most neurotypicals do not like change and do not like to listen to convincing arguments.



American
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 285

18 Apr 2012, 11:35 pm

PTSmorrow wrote:
Made the same experiences even in forums where i didn't tell anyone about AS. They hate me when i say/write my honest opinion. I realized it's just pointless to express my thoughts. If you let them know you're an aspie they will use it against you just to get you shut; if you don't tell them anything personal, they will hold your opinion against you.

I think most NT's just state what they believe others want to hear. That's how their world is working.


I'm glad I'm not the only person that experiences this on other forums.



Inyanook
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 204

19 Apr 2012, 12:06 am

Well, I am always nervous about posting on controversial/political threads, not because I feel like I will get slammed, but simply because I am not all that good at debating. A lot of the people who post there are, so I will get overwhelmed not so much because my opinion is wrong or unpopular, but because I just don't have experience with arguments when I am put on the spot and it is two way (I can write an argumentative essay, but a dialogue is another thing altogether).

This is in part because I am very cautious of committing some kind of faux pas and making people angry at me (though I may misinterpret their perfectly amiable reaction as anger), and if I do end up in an argument I always just want to compromise, get everyone to hold hands and sit in a circle and sing kumbaya. :mrgreen: I do not like conflict.

I do want to improve that about myself, though, so I want to make an effort to participate in these kinds of things. Just... not right now. ^.^"


_________________
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.

...

It was tense.


CryojenX
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Biloxi, MS

19 Apr 2012, 4:20 am

Inyanook wrote:
and if I do end up in an argument I always just want to compromise, get everyone to hold hands and sit in a circle and sing kumbaya. :mrgreen: I do not like conflict.

I do want to improve that about myself, though, so I want to make an effort to participate in these kinds of things. Just... not right now. ^.^"


You kinda just decribed me to a tee. @_@



edgewaters
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,427
Location: Ontario

19 Apr 2012, 4:56 am

CryojenX wrote:
How am i supposed to represent so people dont constantly say "ive never seen an autistic adult" when just voicing an opinion will inevitably get me slammed down and have a lasting effect on my self esteem?

*sigh*


Well for one thing you've got to differentiate between people critiquing your argument and people critiquing *you*. The former has to be expected in a debate. Don't let it affect your self-esteem; if your self-esteem hinges on winning every debate, or you can't handle criticism of your ideas, you're going to run into problems.

Now some people will attack *you*. They'll start calling you names or trying to make you feel stupid or whatever. This is pretty common. The thing is, they do this because they can't beat your argument. At this point I just declare victory and leave. "Ad hominem, game, set, match, I win"

If I'm being defeated in an argument by someone who is using pure reason - no name calling, no fallacious arguments - well then, I have to ask myself, for what reason do I still hold this opinion? I can't find a way around the logic - maybe I'm just attached to it out of habit or for some emotional reason? At this point, it's Borg time: I assimilate their position and abandon my own. Now I have a new and more logically defensible position.



peterd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,353

19 Apr 2012, 7:48 am

I learned to keep my mouth shut very early. Well, there was no possibility of diagnosis back then, and keeping quiet hurt less.

Still, now I'm pushing sixty and I still keep quiet an awful lot of the time. In my working life I'm surrounded by unknowing aspies who are young enough to get away with it, and any mention of autism is surrounded by "It'd hurt them to be told about it!"



CryojenX
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 25
Location: Biloxi, MS

19 Apr 2012, 9:52 am

edgewaters wrote:
Well for one thing you've got to differentiate between people critiquing your argument and people critiquing *you*. The former has to be expected in a debate. Don't let it affect your self-esteem; if your self-esteem hinges on winning every debate, or you can't handle criticism of your ideas, you're going to run into problems.

Now some people will attack *you*. They'll start calling you names or trying to make you feel stupid or whatever. This is pretty common. The thing is, they do this because they can't beat your argument. At this point I just declare victory and leave. "Ad hominem, game, set, match, I win"


Ya the thing is, I'm willing to accept when I'm wrong on something if someone makes a cogent argument explaining to me why i'm wrong, in a RESPECTFUL way. But they moment they mention how ignorant or naive or clueless i am, honestly i tune out and never finish reading their argument to see if it even has merit. You insult me, and you've lost me. But all too often, that is exactly what happens. So yeah, that's why it hits my self esteem.



Rainy
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 174

25 Apr 2012, 5:57 pm

You could always consider the possibility that you posted something naive or ignorant.



Joker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

29 Apr 2012, 1:38 pm

Rainy wrote:
You could always consider the possibility that you posted something naive or ignorant.


Why are you even a member of Wrong Plaent when all you do is insult of people with autism when they speak their mind. How is it that she would be the one to say something naive or ignorant and not the NT.



vermontsavant
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,110
Location: Left WP forever

29 Apr 2012, 6:13 pm

Joker wrote:
Rainy wrote:
You could always consider the possibility that you posted something naive or ignorant.


Why are you even a member of Wrong Plaent when all you do is insult of people with autism when they speak their mind. How is it that she would be the one to say something naive or ignorant and not the NT.
1.rainy did not say that the poster was ignorant or naive just that there might be that possiblity,i personaly dont think the poster said anything wrong.
2.even if the poster said something ignorant or naive that doesnt mean rainy is saying all autistics are wrong all the time on online discusion forums.
im not sure if your criticizim is accurate


_________________
Forever gone
Sorry I ever joined


Joker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

29 Apr 2012, 7:43 pm

vermontsavant wrote:
Joker wrote:
Rainy wrote:
You could always consider the possibility that you posted something naive or ignorant.


Why are you even a member of Wrong Plaent when all you do is insult of people with autism when they speak their mind. How is it that she would be the one to say something naive or ignorant and not the NT.
1.rainy did not say that the poster was ignorant or naive just that there might be that possiblity,i personaly dont think the poster said anything wrong.
2.even if the poster said something ignorant or naive that doesnt mean rainy is saying all autistics are wrong all the time on online discusion forums.
im not sure if your criticizim is accurate


1. It was not criticizim that I was giving but a opinon,
2. I never said that about Rainy in the first place :wink: