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MissPickwickian
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10 Dec 2008, 5:47 pm

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magaz ... wanted=all

I know that this person has a right to free speech, but so do I. And I say that whoever wrote this deserves to die.


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Fnord
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10 Dec 2008, 6:13 pm

MissPickwickian wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07teasing-t.html?pagewanted=all

I know that this person has a right to free speech, but so do I. And I say that whoever wrote this deserves to die.

I most respectfully disagree.

There are too many people who are too sensitive to too many things, one of which is good-natured teasing.

No, I don't mean the cruel taunting of someone who can not help having a deformity or disability - THAT is inexcusable! I am referring to the kinds of antics that pass between friends who know just how far they can tease each other without going over the line. It's a celebration of camaraderie that transcends a mere handshake and a heartfelt "Attaboy!" It's a relaxation of formality that reveals trust in others. It's a rite of passage for those who would seek inclusion in a competitive culture without having to actually challenge the alpha male for right to ascension. And it's just plain fun, as well.


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Last edited by Fnord on 10 Dec 2008, 6:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fidget
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10 Dec 2008, 6:22 pm

Teasing is fun, and funny. Bullying is cruel and unfunny. There's a fine line. I understand the article perfectly and I agree, there's nothing wrong with a bit of teasing, and if someone does go over the line at times, tell your teaser that they're crossing a line, and they'll tone it down. If they don't then it becomes bullying.



zen_mistress
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10 Dec 2008, 6:31 pm

Having a good sense of humour and enjoying a good joke is a wonderful thing. But if it is at someone elses expense and they are hurt, it shows that that person who perpetuates it is small minded and lacks imagination. There are plenty of things to joke about that dont involve being cruel.


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ephemerella
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10 Dec 2008, 6:41 pm

MissPickwickian wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07teasing-t.html?pagewanted=all


I read your article, thank you for the link. I think that I agree with you that this is not quote right. The reporter was romanticizing the teasing she witnessed. Teasing, in a healthy, well-balanced group that is not bullying or dysfunctional, can be very healthy and a part of childrens' developmental play. The reporter was focused on this narrow, ideal view of teasing. Writers do that. That's how they sell articles.

In my reference system, with regard to bullying. I tend to view teasing and other kinds of interpersonal play where people push personal boundaries, as being healthy when the group dynamic is otherwise healthy. But when the group starts to get bullying behaviors or other toxic elements, then anything, including teasing, can quickly turn into an abusive behavior.

So my focus is on elimination of bullying and toxic behaviors. If you can do that, then a whole range of play behaviors suddenly become more accessible and healthy and unrestrained, including teasing.



ForsakenEagle
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10 Dec 2008, 6:45 pm

Teasing can be fun to do with friends.

Whenever one of my friends or me had trouble doing something, we would egg each other on in a teasing manner.

Me: The door is stuck.
Friend: C'mon. Be smarter than the door.

Kinda like that. :)



WurdBendur
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10 Dec 2008, 7:51 pm

I'm a bully, and I have to disagree with all of you. Now if you'll all form a neat line, I'd like to shoot spit wads at you and steal your lunch money one at a time.

Seriously, why would you want someone to die for saying, in effect, "Eh, teasing's not so bad." You must have been really seriously teased, with bullets and electrodes, to be that vindictive.

Speaking of which, I'll have to try electrodes.


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10 Dec 2008, 8:23 pm

MissPickwickian wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07teasing-t.html?pagewanted=all

I know that this person has a right to free speech, but so do I. And I say that whoever wrote this deserves to die.


I respectively disagree. The article is merely reflecting on human nature and the tendency to tease. The part about the crab is very true of that age groups want to sexually tease the opposite sex as the only means they know to let the opposite sex know they are interested. I remember a similar incident in school.

What bothers me is your words "And I say that whoever wrote this deserves to die." Do you honestly believe that just because you disagree with someone's viewpoint that they deserve to die? If so my dear I seriously think you need some counseling. That is a dangerous view to take of the world and shows a very unhealthy mindset.



Mosse
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10 Dec 2008, 8:59 pm

Boooooooriiiing...


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slowmutant
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10 Dec 2008, 10:27 pm

MissPickwickian wrote:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07teasing-t.html?pagewanted=all

I know that this person has a right to free speech, but so do I. And I say that whoever wrote this deserves to die.


That is a terrible thing to say about someone you don't know and have never met.



ShadesOfMe
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11 Dec 2008, 5:23 am

I'm appalled at your comment. Enough said.



slowmutant
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11 Dec 2008, 6:04 am

WurdBendur wrote:
I'm a bully, and I have to disagree with all of you. Now if you'll all form a neat line, I'd like to shoot spit wads at you and steal your lunch money one at a time.

Seriously, why would you want someone to die for saying, in effect, "Eh, teasing's not so bad." You must have been really seriously teased, with bullets and electrodes, to be that vindictive.

Speaking of which, I'll have to try electrodes.


If I wanted to, I could make fun of your beard. It looks fake.



WurdBendur
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11 Dec 2008, 3:14 pm

You must have pretty poor vision, but go ahead. I'm listening.


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slowmutant
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11 Dec 2008, 3:42 pm

Your avatar is a picture of you, is it not?

Oh well. Never mind, then. I can get my jollies tormenting someone else.



WurdBendur
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11 Dec 2008, 3:53 pm

It certainly is a picture of me, and the beard is definitely real. I know, I grew it myself. It's a hearty 3" long now.


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slowmutant
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11 Dec 2008, 4:08 pm

Excellent! :-)