Who here has an eating disorder?

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I'm not talking just being picky at food because of texture issues, I mean actual eating disorders, like anorexia, bulimia, etc?
Have you overcome it? Are you still struggling with it? Do you actually want to overcome it?


I've struggled with my weight since I was a kid. I was stick thin until I turned 14, then all of a sudden I gained 65 pounds out of no where. I went from 110 to 175 in a couple months. I had anorexia to begin with, but this threw me over the edge and I was bulimic for a while. I'm 20 now, and I beleive I'm anorexic still. I'm 155lbs, but I want to be back to stick thin again. I feel hideous. Everyone says 155lbs on a girl thats 6 feet tall isnt bad, but I honestly look in the mirror and see a blimp. I'm fine with my eating disorder.

Now I want to hear your story!

I had always been thin, even as a baby. My dad says I was skinny when I was an infant. I see my baby has inherited that too because he is skinny he can still fit into 3 month clothes but he is long so those clothes are probably too short on him now. He can still fit into size one diapers at five months and he weighs 16 lbs when he was last weighed. He probably weighs 17 now.

But then age 12 I got big. My mom says it was pills I was on so it always made me hungry so I ate three times as much and I gained all this weight and got these ugly stretch marks. Then I was taken off them and lost the weight. I believed since then I was fat and I was never thin enough. I did manage to lose some weight when I was 13 and 14 but I weighed 153 lbs by then.

Then when I was 15, we went skiing that one weekend and I lost five pounds over the weekend because we didn't have much food in the condo and I decided I wanted to keep it up. Plus I had read in the kids Almanic the less calories you give yourself than your body needs, you will lose weight. So I decided to do it the lazy way, eat less food and I will get thin so that is what I did. I lost weight every week slowly. I was also in PE and we did some weight training in it and I was also in softball so I lost even more weight and refused to eat more food because the less calories, the more weight I lose. This was probably a mind of an eating disorder but everyone told me I had such good self control. So I kept it up. Then at 128 it stopped working so I figure this was where my body wants to be. I stayed that way until I was 16 and then gained up to 140. Mom told me it was muscle I was gaining and I was doing workouts. I stayed that way until I was 18 and I started to walk on the tread mill again to tone my body and I went down to 133. Then I was at 130 and I decided to stay that way. I used to walk on the tread mill for like an hour until my whole entire meal was burned off. Probably also a mind of an eating disorder. I also hated how my weight was fluctuating and I was worried about getting fat again because the last time I let myself gain weight, my prom dress didn't fit so I decided to fit with my body to keep the weight down. I started to give it less food. Like I would only eat 1/4 of the pop tart or only eat a couple spoonfuls of yogurt. Then when I be at 130 again, I eat normally again but if I wasn't 130 the next morning, I do the same process again to punish my body. I stayed like this for years. I used to just skip meals or hardly eat anything to keep my weight down. I would even throw up if I ate too much and if I gained too much weight that day because I knew I wouldn't drop three pounds over night I gained that day.

I hated this life style but I was so afraid of getting fat I couldn't just eat normal again. When I was 22 I got diagnosed with anorexia even though I wasn't underweight and I still got my monthly periods. But doctors said I was underweight. I just felt I was supposed to be fat when people tell me I needed to put on some pounds or that I am too skinny so it made me fight my body even more because I didn't like that it wanted to be fat. But I also started to eat more food at age 22 and I wasn't pale anymore according to my husband.

I also had this problem where I would forget to eat because I be so busy with what I was doing I would get too lazy to stop what I was doing to get something to eat. I was too preoccupied I thought I will get some food in a few minutes and every few minutes became longer because I still didn't stop what I was doing. I just kept forgetting to eat. Even though I'd be starving, I still would forget to stop to eat.

I honestly thought food be a struggle while being pregnant but I surprised myself. My eating disorder went away because I started to eat again and have three meals a day for a healthy baby and to not ruin my body, I even remembered to eat too but eating every two hours was a struggle because I keep forgetting again. Then I had my baby and my eating disorder didn't come back. I breast feed so that keeps it away. I have to eat now to keep my body healthy and to make the milk and it takes calories for my body to make it so what I eat goes to the milk and I don't gain weight from that. In fact I dropped down to 120. I can so wait until breast feeding ends.

But apparently I suffered an ED since I was 15 according to my cooking teacher I had. You don't even need to be throwing up or starving yourself nor over eating to have an eating disorder. Let's see, eating less food to lose weight, doing an hour of work outs after dinner at 18 to burn off all those calories, if I accidentally skipped a meal, I still wouldn't let myself eat more food at the next meal, all an eating disorder and I was pissed about it so I once made a thread about it saying it's a gift then, willpower if these are considered eating disorders too. And me wanting to eat healthy and not have fast food or junk food makes me have an eating disorder.

I still have some junk food or sweets but I don't have lot of it. I just seldom buy it is all. I have been eating lot of Musketeer bars my husband bring home and no weight gain. He only bring home one candy bar and it doesn't happen every weekday.

I don't consider myself as having an eating disorder still.

I suppose I do...

I'm a recovering bulimic. I'm obsessed with staying thin and being in control and I count calories and eat only certain foods so that I don't puke, but it drives me nuts and I slip up sometimes. It all started after gaining 50 lbs from meds as a teenager and crying almost everytime I look in the mirror. I lost all the weight after they took me off the meds, but to this day I still sometimes see a fat girl in the mirror (even though I'm 5"3 and the scale says 109 lbs).

Yep. It's been 'on and off' - ever since I was 11-12ish, it's gone in a cycle of "get motivated to recover, think I'm recovered, one tiny thing sets it off or I find out I'm just in denial again, and back we go, then get motivated to recover" etc.
At the moment it's the "find out I'm not as recovered as I think I am" phase. Phah.
(By the way, I was previously diagnosed with anorexia, but over two years that changed to bulimia after I started a binge & purge cycle. I'm not sure what the hell it is now, I hate getting therapy for it nowadays so I hide it from proffessionals [thus don't get diagnosed anymore]. I venture a guess at EDNOS.)

Kittie, I could have written that exact post. I've recently been in one of my "I don't want to eat anything at all but I also want to eat everything in sight" moods, but I'm doing a decent job of staying healthy about it. It helps to plan my meals for the next day or week, even though I spend way too much time doing it. It seems I have to have an obsession with nutrition whether the purpose is complete deprivation or complete health-nuttery, but if I'm going to be obsessed with it, I might as well try to keep it healthy.

I'm not sure if I have an actual eating disorder (like aneorxia or starving yourself), but, I do have many problems associated with the disorder.

I'm a 5'7'' male and I was 250 lbs at my heaviest. To get an idea:


My bodyfat was 28.8%. After 2 years of working at it, I got down to around 8% bodyfat. I lost 95 lbs total. I'm at 152 currently.

But, I still felt fat. I felt like if I lost the weight, women would actually be interested in me than always reject me by saying "I just want to be friends."... In fact what inspired it was a dream I had....I was on a stage doing my magic, and people were cheering at me and I was in really good shape. I was just tired of being fat.

I have certain 'passions' or intense interests....numismatics (Less on coin collecting but more on learning about the history of gold coinage, and counterfeit detection in US gold coinage), video games, and magic currently. It used to be, beanie babies, rocks (geology), and pokemon. Well, the weight loss was good, but I feel like I'm taking it too far. I want perfection. heck, I want definited abs. That was my goal. I got some loose skin from the weight loss. Not a large amount, but it sure seems like a big amount to me, others have said no otherwise. The whole thing became like my other interests, obsessive. I would weigh myself daily. Anytime I gained a lb, I would work like HECK to lose it, through a diet of about 1800 calories a day (balanced) and lots of excerise, and weight lifting. Even if I knew it could be something simple and not fat! That's what really pains me.

You see, everytime I lost weight. I felt good. So, I became addicted to that I guess. It was over a long time, 2 years. Because the loose skin mimics fat, it reinforces the fact that I look fat in my mind, while others say I don't.

Bulimia.. just doesnt go away

adderall has pretty much changed it into anorexia now...

*raises hand*

Recovering though. At my worst, I ate a rice cake and two slices of pineapple a day. Used to abuse laxatives.

Binge eating disorder, since I was about 9. I dont really have big weight or body image issues, just difficulty with dealing with urges to eat and eat.

Raises hand.

I don't wish to discuss it on an open forum though.

Yes, I used to have anorexia and bulimia.

I've had various ED issues. Mainly anorexia, laxitive-bulimia and exercise-bulimia. Also, occasional binge-eating issues at different periods. I'm at a healthy weight now, but still feel like I'm walking a fine line with it sometimes and want to get back into beating myself up over weight at times, particularly when under a lot of stress. But, I am managing it pretty well.

Since ED's aren't really about food, I don't know that they ever fully 'go away.' I'd liken ED's to alcoholism, in the sense that alcoholics may become 'recovered alcoholics' when sober, but still will have that tendency towards addiction and will always be alcoholics. I think you manage an ED and recover from it, but you don't become 'cured' of it or anything along those lines.

A very good friend recently (within the past few months) brought me out of my denial about being anorexic.
I don't know where to go to seek help- my parents tried to, for me, when I was a minor, but I was too fat.
Most of the girls there had never gone for eight months without eating so much as a cracker, as I had, but that didn't matter.
I've been obese most of my life, and anorexic as well. I mentioned that offhand to my nephrologist (my renal function is very poor due to years of dieting) and he just kind of stared at me and acted like I was lying. I had a psychiatrist 3 years ago who was very big on addressing physiological issues, and he ordered some tests, which apparently revealed nutritional deficiencies usually only seen in third-world countries. I know what would happen if I did manage to get help. They wouldn't treat the problem, my body's natural tendency to be obese for apparently no reason. They would just make me eat a bunch and gain weight, and that's why I think I'm in this til the end- I'd jump ship at the first sign of that happening.

I sleep most of the day, am always cold, and my teeth are chipping/falling out. I also get this weird thing where my fingernails start to pull away from the nail bed and bleed, so I've always got band-aids around my fingertips. I have super-long hair I love, and I always said if it started to fall out, I'd be able to stop- I found out recently that that's not true. My ultimate dream is to have a baby and be a mother one day, but even serious threats to my fertility haven't made a dent in my thought processes, just increased my despair. To give an idea, I weighed "naturally", eating the same stuff or less than other kids, around 150 when I graduated FIFTH GRADE. Now, through "diet" and a prescription weight loss pill, I weigh around 132.

I have an overeating disorder. It's disgusting. I'm sitting here eating a block of chocolate as I write this. I could buy about $40 worth of food and eat it in one sitting. I don't know why I do it, and it sucks because no-one wants to think that someone who weighs 90kg (200 pounds) actually has an ed, but I think about food all the time. I also exercise too much to try and compensate, so I'm always injured. The kicker was when I went to a physio to treat a persistant knee injury and wrote down a truthful account of my weekly exercise. He read it and smirked at me "not to be insensitive, but you weigh 90kg. Are you sure you get through ten hours of exercise a week? I don't have to lie to me." ugh

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