The Reason For My Insomnia...

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...The past couple of years I have had terrible terrible sleep quality. Rubbish mattresses and always being stressed out ever since my teenage (actually my whole life) years has caught up to me. I have talked about this before, me looking absolutely terrible like a zombie and how I am insecure about looking like a crazy dude that really needs some visine, even though I try to be nice and friendly but I feel fake.

...Several x-rays from two different chiropractors revealed the same conclusion. My neck is curved forward. Basically my spine is out of its natural shape. I don't know how this happened, but it constantly affects my posture, and I can always feel the strain on my neck, even when I try to stand and sit up straight.

...I didn't play sports in HS (you know how it is....the popular athletic guys make the teams which is discouraging) or do anything active really even though I should have, and bad computer posture probably did this, but I can't be certain for sure. It could be that and a combination of built up stress. Different areas of the body can absorb stress. I am absolutely positive though this is causing my terrible sleep, because I am always constantly tossing and turning. I always wake up on my stomach.

...Enough is enough. I have tried going to bed early. Doesn't work. I can feel tired iny my eyelids when I want, but the strain in my neck prevents me from getting comfortable. I have tried sleeping aids (over the counter), they don't work. I just two IBU Profen PM, didn't work.

A few days ago I stayed up basically the whole night watching the Ultimate Fighter, and then at 6pm, I passed out. I passed out so hard. I was out cold I had the most vivid dream, and I can remember quite a bit of it very strange dream btw. I woke up after the two hour nap feeling so refreshed, and I realized "wow....Its been a long time since I have actually gotten rest like that, I have forgotten what a good nights sleep feels like". I definitely feel like hell, but I am almost used to it. But I wish so hard I could just fall asleep instead of tossing and turning and never really falling asleep.

I just can't explain. The past few years have been a nightmare. My whole life feels like a nightmare now. A non-violent nightmare. Every single second of every day I'm remembering what a failure in every possible regard HS and college were, emotionally, physically, and everything else. It feels like I have just been a coward my whole life. Not really a coward coward, but I have never faced down my fears. I have never really faced down my emotions, which were already hard enough to express anyways because if its cliche to say "nobody understands me", and alot of NT people say that then f**k, because it really takes on a whole new meaning for someone like you or me....serious

I don't know what to do besides keep exercising and going to the gym. The chiropractor is too expensive I think. I am just not sure how to get rid of the tension in my neck. Can getting massages basically be the same thing as physical therapy or chiropractor service? There is a place I know that gives 25$ massages. I haven't tried it yet, but it is much cheaper than the chiropractor, or a physical therapist. What do you guys think?

You should see a sleep specialist and have a sleep study done.

Insomnia can do serious temporary damage to your emotions and reasoning skills; this could be where your negative self esteem is coming from.

The aforementioned sleep specialist sounds like a good idea.

Bump up to more high intense workouts, wake up really early in the morning and sleep around midnight and take a herbal sedative.

I usually wake up at 5 or 6 am and go to bed about 11 pm, I sleep like a cat in those hours.

I do muay thai kickboxing 3-4 times a week, and I have been jogging/sprinting on the days off in the evening so I think as far as exercise I am doing ok.

Lcywlf and Chronos who are sleep specialists and how much does that "sleep sound" cost. I dont have insurance and Im not interested in spending hundreds of dollars when I know exactly where my restlessness comes from.

...and if poor sleep quality has been causing me hell......yes I have been living with it unfortunately for several years now.

Glad to hear you are gettign a good amount of excercise - some people don't seem to realise how important that is in maintaining sleep health.

Is it possible that your kick boxing stance has effected your posture? I have seen it in boxers, they kind of lift the shoulders into a hunch to protect the face. A one off sports massage may be of benefit for you... find someone via recommendation at your club. I love sports massage but rarely have one because it is quite costly. Yoga may be better long term fix for your posture, and is relaxing too.

I have found that my insomnia (a history of decades) is eased by not eating too much rich food or too late in the day. I just have a very sensitive stomach and if my digestion is active, then so is my brain.

i wish you peace and hope that you find those sweet dreams x

Milk with honey before going to bed may work for you. Also walking breathing fresh air is good for deep sleeping!

i have the same problem with my neck, but i dont feel pain yet.., my neck is long and thin i try to correct my stance every time i get notice. I exercise my shoulders and my back in the gym it helps a little.

talking about slept, i am reading about "ayuveda" schedule, it seems to me that it helps me to focus in this problem.

I've posted this before:

When I take a full dose of Ibuprofen (400mg) and Acetaminophen (500mg) every 4 hours, I get much better sleep. I am considering it test case, I think I have confirmed that pain is the problem. Then, I hope to isolate the cause of the pain. Ideally, I hope to resolve my pain issues through diet, or talk to my GP about pain management. BUT, I'm not a doctor, so I can not recommend that you do the same. Both of those medications can cause liver damage when taken for longer than recommended.

Pain is a well documented cause of insomnia.

Diet can make an enormous difference.

I could hardly believe the difference it made when I cut out gluten and casein and sugar the first time ever in 1992. After just four days I woke up from the most amazing sleep feeling as if I had been transported overnight from a shopping mall next to a building site under an airport over a motorway to a peaceful mountain meadow. It was as if a huge constant racket/row/din had been suddenly switched off. The oddest thing was that I hadn't even been aware of the internal noise. I gradually discovered that my night restlessness/sleeplessness and aching/painfully stiff neck ( yes, I had that too ), were probably related to the chronic inflammation of my entire digestive system, ( the enteric-nervous system and the thick bundle of nerve fibres connecting the guts/abdomen with the brain called the vagus nerve ), which I also had not been aware of, ( presumably after so many years the signals were being "filed" as non-actionable, not meriting attention/consciousness ), aswell as the food opioid's ( in gluten and casein ), effects on my brain.

Good luck.
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good advice, must try it