Body acceptance and self-esteem in men

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Well I for one am quite fat, I weigh about 256. I truly hate the way I look. And for some odd reason I can neither gain or lose weight. I have been within the same weight range for the past 6 years.

how tall are you? ideally, you want your body mass index to be 25 or below. obesity can shorten your life and make your middle age one of premature infirmity. I have been there, and speak with the zeal of the recently converted. the only way around obesity is through it, IOW diet and exercise. diet = NO WHITE STUFF!! ! NO sugar of any kind [honey, corn syrup, white bread, ice cream, potatoes, corn, pasta, white rice, couscous etc.]. quinoa, virgin coconut oil, whole oats, nuts and plants/plant products should be the major part of your diet. "salad should be the main dish." minimize soy products. lean animal proteins [no fats], fish [with fats] and poultry [no fats]. daily exercise [rain or shine] should be at least a half-hour in length and include intervals of maximum effort [such as walking as fast as you can uphill] lasting up to a minute, alternating with regular stride, repeated up to 8 times. I do these things and swear by them.
I wish you the best of luck.

Getting this from the steroid thread puddingmouse.

I'm a ectomorph, have had a hard time when I was younger because I was really skinny. I've filled out now since I've got older, but because I was given crap there is a little bit of insecurty there.

The thing about overweight people, is they were the ones that gave me the most crap. All really because of their own insecurities. So what do I do, just put up with jokes? Or slip a comment about their weight.

I don't know to me having support like BBW for women is kind of living in denial. Men will be looked down on if we do this sort of thing, it's different to, we don't matter all that much anyway. Like alpha men matter, but other than that I think we are expendable and kind of classed as losers (which is something I kind of like in a way).

I'm interested in where I stand in the body image thing and do what I can be bothered in trying to look good. Because I know I get judged in this. But I don't think I care all that much. Oh and obviously it is good to exercise for purely health reasons.

I think people should look at their own body, in a different way. It is really amazing when you study it. Like we are really a huge worm inside a skelleton and muscle, etc to protect us.

Also everybody is going to get old and look like garbage anyway.

I absolutely agree that no one should be ridiculed because of their weight, or any other physical characteristic.

But I think it's dangerous to talk of "accepting" an unhealthy body. Being obese is not healthy, and no amount of "acceptance" will change that. I have heard so many obese people wailing that "they've tried everything, and nothing works." To which I reply ... "yes, everything except the things that will actually work, which are proper diet and exercise."

I'm not talking about overall self-esteem or accepting yourself as a worthwhile human being. Although self-esteem can certainly be tied up with body image, it doesn't have to be that way. And twisting things around to somehow convince yourself that "well, you're just big-boned" and you love your body anyway, instead of learning what you need to do to get yourself in condition, is the worst kind of self-delusion.

Losing large amounts of weight will take lifestyle changes, no doubt. Obese people didn't get that way overnight, and I'm certainly not saying it's easy to get back to a proper weight. But it can be done. I have a huge amount of respect for those who were able to recognize and accept that they had a problem, and systematically went about solving it.

If you're not talking about that kind of acceptance, then what kind of acceptance are you talking about (the one which should be denied to fat people)?
The truth is that nobody's life is optimal in every way, and it's none of your damn business to tell other people what they should or shouldn't accept (or want, for that matter) in their life.

Perhaps you should read my post again, more carefully this time.

What I said was that being obese is not healthy. Are you going to argue with that? Is it "none of my damn business" to point it out?

I don't give a rat's ass what you "accept". But if you "accept" being obese, then you are sadly deluding yourself, and threatening your health besides.

I've read your post carefully enough before. The point is that if you make statements like "if you do X, then you're dangerous/delusional/...", then you are telling people that the way they're living is wrong and that you're not accepting them as they are. That's in direct conflict of you saying "you don't care what other people accept".

You said:

So if it's dangerous to even talk of it (implying it's also dangerous to even think about it), then you're clearly saying that accepting it in any way is wrong.
You then qualilfied it and said it's not about "accepting yourself as a worthwhile human being", hency my question of what kind of acceptance you're talking about then, which you haven't answered.

You also implied that people who can't lose weight are simply incompetent or unwilling in all cases (inacurrate).
You're also equating being obese with being unhealthy (also inaccurate). You ignore the fact that while statistics about health have their use, ultimately health is a state in an individual, and you can be healthy if you're fat (just as you can be healthy if you don't work out much).



What does acceptance have to do with being delusional?

I didn't imply anything of the sort. You really do need to read more carefully.



Finally you got something correct. Yes I equate obesity with being unhealthy, and if you think otherwise, you are living in a dream world.

I've said all I have to say about this. Go argue with someone else now.

I guess I should've made it more explicit for you. This here:



is making the implication I was talking about.

I don't care about arguing either, but if someone is using rhetoric that suggests taking away the freedom to accept certain flaws (including an "unhealthy body") from people, then I'm going to object. That's where my question re "acceptance" came from.



It seems you have a one dimensional understanding of health then - it isn't an absolute state, and depending on the definition, there is not one absolutely healthy human being on this planet.
I'm not saying obesity will never cause health problems, but you can have a BMI of 30 or 32 and still be in in good health. But like I said, this wasn't even my main point.