Motivational defecit

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If I could only be motivated enough to exercise, and think of better meals to eat, it would really benefit me. But while I have this motivational defecit, trying to force myself (or having someone else try to force, threaten or guilt me) while I still have the motivational defecit will only make me miserable, which is even worse for me. Yelling at me or insulting me or calling me lazy would just make me lazier, because that means that person is expecting me to do something unpleasant... at least something they think is unpleasant. So I need to get rid of the motivational defecit first. How?

Not that I'm inclined to follow my own advice, but I think the key is small steps. Get used to it and make another small step. I know for myself I see the desired result as insurmountable and give up before beginning. Then there's the procrastination.

That's what I say I'll do. A tiny, TINY bit at a time. But people say I'd be going too slow that way.

it seems you indicate you see exercise as a negative or unpleasant activity. as long as you hold this perspective, motivation will be difficult. it may help to think of all of the positive benefits achieved through proper regular exercise. since there are so many forms and types of exercise, it should be easy to start with something you could even moderately enjoy: swimming, biking, skateboarding, roller blading, roller skaing, ice skating, jogging, weight training, rock climbing, isometrics, plyometrics, elliptical machine, rowing machine, yoga, kick boxing, pilates, dance aerobics, step aerobics.

just pick one activity you think you would enjoy the most, listen to music with the right rhythm while you do your activity, and think of all of the positive benefits which can be achieved if you stick with it. it also helps if you can find at least one other person who also enjoys that activity and is able and willing to do it with you. if you can find three or four or even a group such as a class at a YMCA or other fitness center that helps even more.

after you become consistent and begin seeing some benefits from one activity you might be more inclined to pick up another one.

for example, i have two physical training activities which is about all i can manage timewise. i do weight training at least one hour a day at least three days a week. i also run about 50 miles a week which means at least 10 to 15 mile a day four to five days a week. i just finished my first USATF certified half marathon this morning and am registered for a full marathon (26.2 miles) in november. that means i will be upping my weekly mileage to around 80 miles a week. ok, so i'm a gym rat and serious runner (and a certified personal trainer) and i'm not saying you have to do nearly as much as i do, i'm just using myself as an example of what i do to keep in shape.

are there days i don't feel like running or lifting? sure. do i have to make myself do it on those off days? yep. do i sometimes "cheat" and skip a day? yep. are there external factors such as work commitments and meetings and conferences which prevent me from doing my usual routine from time to time? yep. however, over the long run, i get my workouts done fairly regularly.

HTH

I joined martial arts and I pay monthly for it, so if I do skip class I feel insanely guilty.
But that also keeps me going, so maybe you could do something like that?

My motivation for tidying up however is terrible.

I made a game one day, each chore, cleaning or studying, etc, had certain number of points, and each prize did (Computer, Food & Anime)
That works for me, just as long as I don't turn the comp on when I wake..
But today I turned comp on so I have to starve till I'm desperate enough to clean kitchen

Heres the thing, if you take everything in tiny incremental steps yes it will take much longer to accomplish your goals than if you were able to implement everything at once. But as you've noticed trying to make large sweeping changes to your lifestyle demotivates you and makes it even harder to get started/keep going. Which way is going to get you to your goals faster?

They say it takes 30 days for something to become an ingrained habit. So why not implementing one new section of your life every month? Say this month you attempt to exercise 3-5x a week this month. Next month you'd exercise 3-5x a week and plan your meals ahead of time. The month after you'd add another new habit.

You will slip up. You will have off days, cheat days, whatever you want to call them. Do not get hung up or disappointed about them. Move on and make sure you do your best the next day.

I'm currently in the same situation and even though I've been studying healthy living for a few years I still dont have my habits in line. I'm currently working on making sure I ride my bike 5x a week. Hopefully this gives you some ideas.

There's a litttle book called the Sixty minute motivator that spelt out what you need to have to get motivated.
1) Importance - you have to understand why something is important to do for you
2) Confidence - you have to have confidence that you will succeed, for an aspie the way to be confident is usually to do research about how to achieve your aims, or sometimes rely on someone you consider to be an expert.

I loved the book, only takes about half an hour to read and is a real eye opener.