My body feels like lead...

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It happened again today. I woke up at around my usual time this morning but my whole body felt like it was made of lead. I also felt depressed. The weather right now is cold and wet, but I don't think that's the reason. I did everything slower than usual and I found it hard to think or focus on stuff. At around one pm I turned on the TV and lay down and tried to watch it but I dosed off and the next thing I know the show is over so I turned off the TV and lay back down and did not get back up again until around four pm. This happens to me quite a bit. For several years now I find I always feel tired during the day no matter how well I sleep at night. I usually lie down for maybe a couple of hours or so in the afternoon. Lately I've also been having trouble with my right knee. Several years ago I sprained it, and for the past few weeks whenever I go out walking it hurts and feels like it's going to twist itself again. It also hurts when I press on it. My mother says it's probably because I haven't been walking as much lately but if I keep walking it will get better. It hasn't. In fact I was out walking the other day and my legs felt like they hade huge lead weights on them. Maybe I should see the doctor but I just saw him not ago about pain and tension in my upper back and he sent me to the hospital
for some x-rays, which turned out okay I guess, since they never tell me anything...

'Nother gem (or two) from EM:

"We should have been excused from lugging a body; the burden of the self was enough."

- AND -

"The farther I go, the more I see my chances dwindle of dragging myself from one day to the next. To tell the truth, it has always been like this: I have not lived in the possible, but in the inconceivable. My memory accumulates prostrate horizons."

IWishIWasCioran understands, and hopes yet against all raison that which you describe troubles you less tomorrow than it did this day - but - I know that would be inauthentic advise, for, what you are suffereing from be that cruelest of all maldies... life.