Major League Baseball

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Baseball, for our friends across the pond and down under and wherever, is a sport similar to cricket, except it is not played by Britons. If you see someone walking down the street with a cap emblazoned with a symbol that resembles a crooked swastika, but is actually an interlocking N-Y, that is a baseball cap. It is the sign of the only group of people worse than terrorists and rich people who destroy our world, the New York Yankees.

Anyways, will we have a Mets-Tigers World Series? Should Hank Aaron be allowed to club Barry Bonds in the knee before he reaches 755 home runs? Does Jason Giambi really eat a different endangered animal for breakfast each day?

Discuss

World Series-Astros-Blue Jays. Clemens out on top
Aaron-It would be a lot more effective to hit the elbow. Barry doesn't use his knees for much anymore. He is as close to a DH as the NL gets.
Giambi-Yes he does. If you ever see him in another slump, that means he's back on the South American frogs.
Other-Clemens returns tonight. I'm going to watch.

Hitting bonds in the elbow won't hurt him because of all that armor he wears. Aim for his swollen head.

The astros won't go back to the World Series because Clemens is 43, Pettite remembered that he is not a good pitcher, and Brad Lidge has nightmares about Albert Pujols. The Blue Jays won't make it because Alex Rios won't hit .324 all year.

In other news (expletive deleted) Ozzie (expletive deleted) Guillen (expletive deleted) should learn to shut his (expletive deleted) mouth before he gets in (expletive deleted) trouble.

Ozzie after sensitivity training: "That guy's a bleeping bleep, not that there's anything bleeping wrong with that. Some of my best friends are bleeping bleeps."

Sure, Clemens may be good again this year, and Oswalt is great, but a pitching staff needs more than just two guys. The offense is the same story. Berkman and Ensberg are doing well, but beyond them, the rest of the lineup is one big question mark. They're even still dragging out the corpses of Biggio and Ausmus on every night.

The only reason the Cubs are worse without Lee than the Cardinals without Pujols is because they have fifteen second basemen on their roster, none of whom can hit.

As for the Mets, Pedro's overdue for an injury, and Glavine is going to remember that he is 40 years old one of these days. Their lineup is decent, but their pitching has disaster written all over it.

Of course, talking about the National League is irrelevant, what with it being a minor league and all.

If the Astros repeat as NL champs with the team they have now, I believe the NL would officially qualify for some kind of emergency aid package from the U.S. government, because that would be a disaster. Prince Albert will lead the Cardinals back to the Series.

In regards to the Barry Bonds bruhaha, I have not as of yet heard of any PROOF that Bonds knew that he was taking steriods.
Even if he wasn't on them it would not made so much difference. To hit a baseball outside of the park it takes good eye cordination to be able hit the ball that far and steriods dosn't enhance that area.
What is really is sad is the fact that things were made worse because the media did everything they could to destroy his personal life and I don't believe steriods had anything to do with that. It was more likey that the media had an axe to grind on him and was looking for any reason to destroy him from the get go.
If you think I'm full of it look at Mark Mcgrire and Sammy Sosa. They took the same thing and claim they did not realized that what they were taking was illegal and the media did not do to them like what they did to Bonds. The media even went after his family which was pretty low.
Until we have proof that Bonds KNOWINLY took steriods we need to give him the benifit of the doubt instead of listening to a bunch of sport pundits that make comments on the air that are IMHO pretty reckless.

So he had a bit of a big head, big deal. My comment is that the media did what they could to tear his character apart but didn't go after some of the other players who did steriods. Barry Bonds had always had a problem with the media even before the steriod bruhaha started. He def did not deserve to have his name and his family dragged through the mud like that no matter how much of a jerk he was.
Actually thats what I meant to say in regard to the hand eye cordination, but in any case I still do not believe that steriods would of made a huge difference regarding his HR record. Yes you have to have the muscles but its really the hand eye cordination that makes the huge difference. You could be the best bodybuilder this country has ever seen but would still be lucky if you could hit the ball out of the park.

Hitting a baseball out of a ballpark requires good eyesight. Eyesight declines with age, but steroids can help keep your body, including your eyes, younger, which would help you hit a baseball if you were 40 years old.

As for the media and Barry Bonds, if you try to make sense out of anything the media does, your brain will explode. Well, actualy I take that back. The media will do anything to sell papers or get ratings. Barry Bonds is a black man who may have cheated who is trying to break a cherished record in a beloved sport. He may as well just paint a target on that massive noggin of his.

I think the Red Sox are a good bet to win the NL Pennant.

Oh, wait, they're in the AL.

Never mind.

Oh I thought this was going to be about one of my favorite Simpsons Quotes .

_________________
"we never get respect ... never a fair trial
[swearing removed by lau] ... as long as we smile"
Im tired of smiling.

Vote for me in 2020

I can care less about baseball right now since the Phillies are such a mess. Good thing Eagles training camp starts on Thursday so I won't have to be bored any longer.