Freaking out about physical restraints

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When I first heard about how people with Aspergers didn't like to be touched, I figured that that aspect of aspies just wasn't relevant to me. I love to be touched, love sex, and love physical closeness.

But then I realized that there were certain types of touching that I just couldn't stand. The worst is anything that has to do with being restrained physically. I have broken a few bones over the years and being in a cast (even for a week) is the most paranoia-inducing feeling on earth to me. Especially when I'm trying to sleep.

If I'm in a cast, I can generally get through the day, but when I lie down to try to sleep I keep focusing on how I can't move, it almost feels like I'm drowning! Basically, if there isn't any immediate task going through my head, all I can think of is how I can't move in a certain way. That feeling gets worse and worse until I want to scream! My heart races, I feel my head pounding, and then I get up, try to move around, feel exhausted, and then lie down again. I end up not sleeping all night and being tired all day (whenever I actually have a task to focus on, I can hardly keep my eyes open.

This past Thursday, I broke my foot. It was the second break in two years. Thursday night and Friday night I was in a lot of pain but I wasn't sure it was broken so I had no restraints and I slept fairly well in spite of the pain. On Saturday (yesterday) I finally went to urgent care and was told my foot was broken. I was placed in a splint and told to keep it on until I could see a specialist (and who knows when that will be). Last night was the first night with the splint, and I panicked every time I lay down. Now I'm exhausted but I know if I lie down, my heart will race again. By the way, I can't sleep sitting up or on my back. If I try, I get the same panic attacks.

I supposed if I had nothing to do, I could just be a half-conscious zombie for the next month or so until it heals a bit. However, I have an opportunity for some part time work starting this coming Tuesday. It's a desk job and I could probably do it even with the pain-- but the exhaustion just overwhelms. If I can't make it, they'll find someone else, who will get more experience and more likely be taken on full time.

I just don't know what to do. I'm freaking out.

If any one has any suggestions I'd really appreciate it.

Maybe it's not an aspie trait.

I panic with the thought (or worse the reality) of any kind of physical restraint. When I was 8, I had to have a test in the hospital, and they used straps (even though I was completely cooperative), because they were afraid I'd move my arms during an x-ray. I panicked when the straps were on, and the nurse left the room, and I broke them and hurt myself, and went into a meltdown and nearly broke into an elevator shaft which would have caused me to fall and get killed. It was terrifying, and I remember it clearly now; 33 years afterward. Since then, I have never been restrained, and I can cooperate perfeclty fine without restraints, and I've even had surgery without general anesthesia, and without anything restrained.

Charles

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience Charles. It sounds like you have it much worse than me. For me, I can handle physical restraints for a few hours at a time but the longer it is the worse it gets. Falling asleep is nearly impossible.

I was just told that I might need surgery to fix a broken bone (it's a small bone and I could live with it broken but there's a good chance I'll experience some pain in that area for the rest of my life if I don't). Last night I was lying in bed, unrestrained, and for a second I imagined that I was in a cast and within one second I completely panicked.

Anyway, not to push the topic but I wonder what you would do, Charles, if a doctor told you that you needed surgery and you would have to be in a cast for at least 6 weeks.