Looking for help starting to workout

Post Reply New Topic

For health and personal reasons, I've decided I need to really dedicate some time and effort into getting in moderately good shape.

I've never gone to a gym my entire life, and haven't touched a weight in 20 years. So I know absolutely nothing about what to do in terms of any kind of weight lifting. I don't want or expect to big muscular, but I am way too flabby and don't want that either anymore.

I primarily need to get to a healthier weight. When I started trying to lose weight a month ago I was up to about 285lbs. Haven't weighed myself, but I've totally straightened out my diet for the last month and do at least walk a lot, maybe 3-4 miles a day. So I've lost a little and am trying to lose more so I can at least start to jog. My joints and feet can't take that yet due to my excessive weight. I have fairly bad ankle problems.

So my question is, what is a good way to find out what exercises to perform and how? I considered hiring a trainer, but don't really even know how to go about doing that. Or how much it costs. But someone who can tell me exactly what to do and how to do it and how often etc. I'm really bad with self-motivating and don't think just going to a gym by myself will last without a clear direction and schedule that's handed to me. The motivation to actually perform the exercise is hard enough without the pressure of figuring out what to do.

Then there's the embarrassment factor of not knowing how to use machines properly, and having to lift very light weight in front of other people. I also get anxiety when going to unfamiliar places. Even more so when I do so by myself.

If anyone could offer a little guidance I'd really appreciate it.

It sounds like gyms are not your thing.

I understand your anxiety but there's nothing wrong with lifting lower weights.

There's a common saying, "Leave your ego at the door" and that's to forget about how much you lift, but think about the quality of your lifting.

This applies for those who lift far too much on purpose just to show off and people who feel ashamed of lifting too little as well.

And anyone who doesn't respect but mocks or laughs at an overweight person at the gym actually trying to exercise is just an a55høle.

From your posts you sound pretty strong-willed/able to stand-up for yourself so I assume it won't be an issue if people give you sh*t at the gym.

I respect anyone who tries to be healthy and in-shape.

This is perfectly fine and it is possible to workout at home.

Contrary to popular belief, you do not need a room worth of expensive equipment to exercise at home.

All you really need is two dumbbells, a standard chest press workout bench, barbell and weights. Multiple exercises of almost all body parts can be done with this minimal amount of equipment.

Buy it second-hand if you must but even if you buy brand new at most if you get cheap dumbbells and possibly wait until a bench and barbell are on sale and that's a few hundred dollars.

Firstly, what is your goal? To lose weight or gain muscle?

Within the first 6-12 months of lifting weights, the body will gain muscle very quickly, regardless of diet or training quality.

But, obviously, proper diet and training will bring the best results, but this is not necessary. However improper training also raises risk of injuries, and you're not 15 or 20 - any sort of avoidable risks to your muscles and joints is just stupid and dangerous.

This is nicknamed 'noob gains' as you're brand new to it.

The longer you lift weights and workout, the longer any kind of muscle gain takes.

So, we'll start with diet.

Eating healthy foods means nothing if you don't do it properly. You've got to provide your body with proper nutrients from a variety of sources and simply eating healthy does not guarantee this.

For instance the Fruitarian diet, that is eating only fruits, is actually unhealthy and results in nutritional deficiencies due to lack of protein, fats, fibre, etc.

Fruits only really provide carbs and some fibre and vitamins.

take this article with a grain of salt, but it generally has the right idea on what a possible diet could look like: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/meal-pl ... y-guy.html

My personal diet is this (currently losing weight):

Meal 1:

- Two UP&GO Energize
- Multivitamin pill
- Vitamin D pill
- Protein shake (glass of milk with 2 scoops Whey Protein mixed and stirred) ('breakfast')

Meal 2:

- 15-25 Almond Nuts
- 2 Nutella Sandwich
- 2 different fruits ('snack')

Meal 3:

- Bowl of a healthy cereal w/milk or w/skim milk ('lunch')

Meal 4:

- Healthy homecooked meal, e.g. spaghetti bolognaise, beef stroughonaut, beef casserole, chicken curry w/rice, chinese chicken and veggies w/rice, healthy hamburger recipe, chicken burger, etc. ('afternoon meal')

Meal 5:

- Another healthy homecooked meal, different than the one earlier ('dinner')
- Creatine (muscle building/maintenance supplement)

When trying to gain weight (more on that soon) I eat 6 meals, the 6th being a bowl of cereal of a different cereal or just another up&go when feeling lazy.

Now I will tell you two new concepts you may want to familiarize yourself with: Bulking and cutting:

Cutting:

To lose weight you've got to either be eating less food than your body needs, increasing exercise, or both.

The body requires a certain amount of energy a day for you to maintain the weight you are now. Most people eat at their calorie maintenance.

Eating less means the body must get this energy from another source - the muscle or fat on your body.

Cutting is trying to lose weight in body fat while keeping muscle (or, in a beginner's case, lose fat and GAIN muscle at the same time, which is otherwise impossible after 6-12 months are up).

So lifting weights and some cardio/jogging each week = exercising more.

Exercising more + eating less = weight loss in fat.

Don't forget to train the muscles as you will simply lose muscle as well, and don't cut your foods out so drastically that you eat too little - this is dangerous and can just slow down weight loss.

It is impossible to prevent yourself from losing some weight in muscle, but you can minimize it.

In short, cutting is losing weight in body fat and minimizing weight loss in muscle.

The opposite, bulking, which you don't need to worry about, is gaining weight mostly in muscle and minimizing weight gain in body fat.

The two methods are universally accepted among bodybuilders and professional athletes.

So get diet sorted out, and if you want to exercise more get a gym membership or if you can't handle that purchase equipment.

If you're fine with not lifting weights and just exercising more through other methods, more power to you, but it'd look far more appealing to have decent muscle tone once you finally do shed all the fat off (the lower your fat, the more visible your muscle will be).

With regards to doing exercises properly...

The wesbite bodybuilding.com has a vast databse of exercises to do and many handy filters, e.g. equipment, muscle targeted, etc. that make your search easier.

Here's an example: http://www.bodybuilding.com/exercises/f ... iddle-back

Thanks for the thoughtful post.

Unfortunately, doing this at home is not an option. I am living with my parents in one small room and would not have any room for a bench. I've even looked up folding ones, but I literally wouldn't have the room to have it even set up while I used it. It's a small room,

Diet wise, I can discipline myself there so I'm not AS worried about that piece. I've gone through a few bouts in the past where I wanted to eat better and lose a little weight, and I did. I really don't have much of a problem, when I get in the mindset, where food can be nothing more than fuel. For now, I'm operating on a very low level of fuel to shrink my stomach and decrease my appetite, which I've done. I'm pretty much just eating grilled chicken, turkey, egg whites and green beans (only veg my stomach can easily handle). Literally that almost entirely all I've eaten for over a month. And I take a very good quality multivitamin and a D3 supplement to make sure I'm no vitamin deficient from eating such a limited diet.

I've also taken to requiring myself a minimum of one hour exercise everyday. Now, so far it's really only been walking. I've started to get my fat ass to actually do little runs in the middle of my walks, which represents enormous progress already. I probably couldn't even complete a 40yd dash without falling into a heap foe the last 6-7 years. But now, even slowly, I could actually run that far. Which sounds pathetic, and mostly is, but that's ok because I gotta start somewhere and if I don't recognize incremental progress I'll get discouraged and stop.

As far as my goals, I'm primarily concerned about my health and the way I feel day to day mentally. This last month has made me finally fully accept what so many people have tried to tell me for years, exercise and better heath does help your mentals incredibly. So thing one is get the weight down fairly dramatically. As I say, I'd estimate myself to be somewhere in the low 270lb range. I know I need to at least be down in the 220-230 area. The medical shart says my healthy weight is like 170 which to me sounds way too thin. Not buying that. I'm not trying to be thin or even necessarily in "good shape" just much better than where I am.

OF course aesthetics do have a big secondary value to me. I've been a fat kid, and man, my entire life. There have been times I've been a lot less fat, and able to be active, but I was always except like one year of my life quite large. If you were to look at me, you'd think I was lighter, so I am one of those people. Everyone gets surprised when they hear my weight. But I just have a real bad upper torso. My man-tits are out of control to be honest. And I have quite a gut. So my upper body needs some serious work. Again, I'm keeping really realistic expectations and hopes here. I don't need defined muscle tone really. Just, if I'm gonna be a big guy, just rather be more broad and firm in my upper body, even if I'm still a little flabby on the surface. Right now I'm just floppy jello. And I hate that. Probably being single again, which I never thought Id have to, make this more of a factor now then ever.

Mostly I guess what I need guidance on is coming up with a routine I can do at the gym here. There's a Planet Fitness (very common chain gym in the US) literally right around the corner and it's only 10 bucks a month. If I had a clear plan of what I was supposed to do in there, I can get started at days and time where people don't go much, like Friday night and Sunday afternoon. Early am before work maybe. Just so there aren't people around. I've walked by it and there's a lot of younger people and fairly attractive women going there. People mostly in much better shape than me. I have no issue fighting someone if they gave me s**t, and even out of shape can hang in a fight, but it's more just the internal embarrassment making me discouraged.

But I just look at all these machines, and can surmise how they are used and what they are used for, it's not rocket science, but I just need like a firm plan, and to know ahead of time how to do the exercises/use the machines so I don't look like a fool. Not looking like a fool in a new situation is a huge obstacle of mine. It's part of why I'm making myself go to a gym as well. Just trying to f**k with my comfort zones because comfort zones are limiting.

How are your lungs going, bb?

Could you ask the gym to write you a program? Ideally you should get some kind of induction when you join which includes an evaluation of your current fitness level and instruction on using the equipment properly. There would be no harm in asking.

Some gyms run many different structured programs (boot camp, total body etc) which would be a good introduction into the whole gym atmosphere.

Good luck with your goals.

My lungs are fairing well thus far. Turns out I have mild asthma and a mild heart valve thing that's nothing to worry about really. So I can try to push myself for whatever I feel I can do really.

I'm probably going to go to a gym where I could have training sessions near me. I just have to get the courage to go in and actually do it. It's a very scary thing for me, but I want to feel better. I know this will help me do that. I know the one gym my wife/exwife goes to has all of what your saying. They evaluate you, write you a program, coach you to do the exercise right, but she goes there so no good.

Anything I do is better than what I've done as well. Sometimes I'm looking for the perfect answer all at once, when things usually don't work out that way.

I know of the scariness of gyms I went to one for the first time just recently. I will admit I did feel like a fish out of water at first. My strategy was to get on the treadmill and kind of scope everything out from there while warming up.

I watched others use the machines and had a quick read of the directions. If I still wasn't sure, I asked someone near me. They didn't seem to mind.

It was only really uncomfortable for a short while. Once I got to know the machines and decided on a number of reps/sets it was ok. My first squats were done with exactly 0 weight on the bar, and I was struggling with that tbh because I'm a bit of a stick insect, but anything you can do is 100% better than doing nothing, as you said.

I have faith in you, mate.
You can do it!

If you're looking to get your weight down I probably wouldn't bother too much about weights at the start. All you really need to do is get on the exercise bike\rower\hand bike and start burning calories. Just start with what you're comfortable with in terms of intensity and duration, then gradually build up to go longer or do higher intensity.

Most gyms will give you a program to follow, so during your induction (where you're shown how to use everything) just explain you're interested in weight loss and they'll come up with something you can follow if you're not happy doing your own thing.

It's not rocket science though, seriously, just join a gym and use the bike or rower for 20 odd minutes a day (then work up to longer) and you'll start losing weight. Also I know it's uncomfortable for a lot of people to go to the gym, and you might be worried about being judged, but just remember the mentality of the people who are at the gym...they're interested in being active in looking after themselves and they'll have nothing but respect for anyone using the gym to try and lose weight.

Can you bicycle? I can get a workout and lose weight faster bicycling than I can walking, and biking is easier on your knees and feet IF you don't push high, slow gears. (Speaking of which, I'm going for a a quick bike ride...)

Unfortunately not. So it's really walking outside of going to a gym.

Thanks, Raleigh, I was thinking something similar. Just watch other people from the treadmill and emulate. How hard can it really be? I can always look up videos when I go home if I'm not sure. But I have to do this because I really need reasons to feel good about myself these days. Thanks for the encouragement.

Chichikov, I am looking to primarily get my weight down, but I do want to fix my upper body a little as well. My chest and arms are embarrassing for a grown man, seriously. I've never in my entire life cared about the aesthetics of my body much at all until the last few months. Being single at 38 after 12 years will do that. So I do want to both lose weight and get a little stronger to start with. Which naturally, as I understand it, impedes overall weight loss. Which is mostly fine. I have no rigid requirement or expectation of myself. When I do that I get impatient. I'm better off concentrating on the goal of getting to a gym, learning to exercise properly and be comfortable with the experience, and setting a routine. If I can do those things and just not quit, it has to work. I have nothing but time and nervous energy.

I know at some gyms they don't really do much for you when you start. I think I found one I'm comfortable with and they have trainers. I just have to see what the cost is. Cost is one of my lesser concerns here. Right now I'll pay a little more to make sure I can get this going in the right way. When left on my own with these sort of things, I get lost, stuck on meaningless details and overall spin my wheels. I need "do xyz this way this many times-- go. " With the anxiety of the experience taking a lot of my mental focus, I need to not think and just do if this gym thign is gonna work long term. I'm hopeful I can. While I've never gone to a gym, I'm not too far removed from hiking fairly regularly several miles at a time. I just never did anything with weights at all, or any sort of exercise programs.

Not all people 'in good shape' go to gyms or lift weights


Contact your local gym and tell them what you wish for


Stop consuming too many calories


Therefore keep losing weight



Therefore don't start to jog yet.

Buy a rowing machine. If you have no money, exchange something you do have for a rowing machine (i.e. your TV).


Contact a local gym/fitness centre and tell them your goals etc


Contact your gym and they'll provide an answer to both


You know the answer. A complete & total change of both lifestyle & diet.

And not just for a few months.


Therefore you'll likely continue to consume way too much, possibly develop diabetes, and likely die at a young age due to a voracious appetite and lack of self-discipline.



Gyms have inductions


...So don't go to a gym.

You're not exactly keen on the idea by the sounds of what you've written.

If it was important to you, 'other people' would matter less than your own health.



Stop making excuses for yourself. If you wanted to commit, you'd have done so already.

I have absolutely no specialist equipment except some decent weights, I hope to get some other stuff in the future but I've got myself into alright shape over the last few years as I've been consistent and added different things, eating better and hydrating has helped too, if you want to get into better shape nothing wrong with an uncomplicated approach to it and adjust as you go along.

If you can afford it then a personal trainee would be better. For motivation/technique/knowledge/advice.

If you can't you can still definitely get in shape

I am a bit tired, so I didn't read all the messages as I probably should have. I do want to give a piece of advice if you will take it. choose 3 times a day you can eat, I do this and mine are at 10 AM for breakfast, 3 pm for lunch and 6 pm for dinner. then, have a meal BASED on the time of day, like cereal for breakfast, but ONLY one bowl. and for lunch get a lunch food like a sandwich. but only one or two of them. and for dinner like pizza, but only like two slices. it seems like that wouldn't make a difference, but as a friend of mine once said, all the little things add up! if you do take my advice, do not. I repeat.. DO NOT! eat outside of those times. like fifteen minutes per meal time.

Awful lot of assumptions here, don't you think? I happen to not at all consume too many calories, nor really have, outside of here and there, for awhile. People who know me are astounded at how much I weigh in comparison to how little I eat. I do not, and have not drank soft drinks for years. I basically drink only water and alcohol. I very seldom eat fast food. I don't eat a lot of fried foods. I don't eat a lot of snacks. I don't have a sweet tooth. The only thing that makes sense, beyond some hormonal imbalance, is my absence of activity. Which is why I made this thread. For helpful advice. Encouragement maybe even.

It turns out, I've joined up at a local gym, but will need to pay a trainer to have someone show me what to do and how to do it in any real detail. It is a little expensive, but it's the only way I'll do it and I have the money right now. I cannot have any exercise equipment because I am currently living in one small room which is already quite full. MOstly with stuff that isn't mine that I can't move.

Thanks for the help though. The responses were thoughtful, encouraging and informative.

I hear what you are saying. That would be the far more comfortable thing to do-- try from home. But space is an issue as even free weights I barely have enough room to move around in the room I'm in right now. Plus, I'm trying to challenge myself here both in getting myself to exercise, but also get over my fear of going to a gym and doing it, which symbolizes a fear I have in general of unfamiliar situations that has limited my personal growth for years and time has come to put an end to it.

Based on your descriptions above I would agree with some other posters and suggest that you avoid the gym.

Motivation is a very important part of working out, and if you are uncomfortable being in a gym, then it will be an uphill battle even before you start sweating

As trite as it may seem, the old saying still goes: "The best exercise is the one that you will do."

Because of your weight I would initially recommend cycling (in order to minimize the risk of injury). But if this is off the table, then I notice that you have already had some success with walking, and appear to be progressing towards jogging. I suggest continuing down this route. And as a rule of thumb, cardiovascular exercise like running, bicycling and swimming is the healthiest form of exercise.

Because of your weight you might want to invest in some really good footwear which can offer stability (to avoid sprains) and cushioning against impact (to avoid knee pain). Good sports stores (or outdoor stores, if you prefer hiking, perhaps?) can probably give you some good advice...