What do you think of the weight is just a number mentality?

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I've been told that weight is just a number and I'm beautiful no matter what. While I don't know how much I weigh, I am a size 18, 20 and 22 in stores. I exercise, try very hard to keep track of my calories even though it's difficult sometimes because I get so focused on laundry and doing other things like exercise.

To be honest, I think the whole weight is just a number thing is a bunch of crap. I've read articles and have seen people who weigh 300 and above pounds and they have trouble breathing, moving, showering, controlling what they eat and even getting approved for gastric bypass surgery.

My guess for my weight is 240 pounds at the most. I eat everything in moderation, I try very hard to exercise at least every other day. I'm a pretty girl. I'm not super fit looking. I have soft hair, don't get pimples usually and dress in cute women's clothes. So, there are women who are bigger than me that are beautiful but health is important.

I support the body positive movement but people who are close to 600 or 700 pounds seem to never be happy. If I weighed that much, I would not feel beautiful. I wouldn't be healthy.

What are your thoughts on the "just a number" philosophy? Let alone the "beautiful no matter what" thing?

If you're looking for a completely honest answer, I'd have to say:

Yes, weight is a number, but not 'just' a number.

I personally think it's an excuse overweight individuals can use to justify their gluttony and avoid facing the truth with regards their lifestyle/eating habits/calorie intake etc.

Calories don't magically appear out of thin air.



These days we seem to want to avoid speaking the truth in the off-chance we may offend someone. It's taken to the point where we are creating our own monsters - in this instance (at the extreme end), humans of a size unheard of at any other time in history.





I'm holding back from addressing anything else you wrote, as I commend you for writing such a post and don't want to offend you by anything you've written, but one thing I think worth mentioning is where you wrote:





Despite being told this possibly making you feel better about yourself for a short period of time, you'll know the truth.

I personally think it would be better if someone told you it would be better for your health if you lost some weight.


'Beauty' shouldn't really come into it, given its subjective nature.

But what isn't subjective is your increased likelihood of an early death.


But these days saying something such as this is considered highly offensive - when it's likely far more helpful than the inverse.


But I'm aware your question was pertaining to the 'weight is just a number', hence focusing on that.

Some people might get offended, but I don't.



I have some window shopping to do. I want me some new dresses!

Good

In that case:

1) Consider losing weight to extend the probability of a longer life

2) Count your calories: quantity of food doesn't equal calorie intake (i.e. you could eat 1kg of cucumber yet consume less calories than 5 chocolate bars - which weigh far less)

3) Want it.


You're not the dress size you are due to a problem with the maths: it's very simple - you consume too many calories.


Again, don't read that as me being offensive. Quite the opposite. I say the above to hopefully help you.


Those around you trying to make you feel good by speaking niceties aren't being honest with you. They are doing you no favours.

Overall I like numbers. I especially like odd ones.

When I lost 40 pounds going from 190 lbs. to 153 - the number 168 was good.
Now I have gained weight back 168 is the same number BUT/AND I mentally see it as "bad". It is the same number.

4 is the number of times I've been to the gym
2 is the number of bagels I ate more than usual (0)

I find that mentality a bit concerning. I mean, it's good to love yourself the way you are and feel confident about your appearance... but you should still try to stay healthy. Some people seem to think weight is only about looks, but it's a health issue as well. Like, I'm underweight... and people say I look great, but that's not the issue; I should weigh more for health reasons. You should love yourself for who you are and still try to improve yourself.

When I was down to 153 I got interesting questions. Folks that had not seen me in a while asked if I was sick - or had cancer or ....

I got reverse body checks even at O. A. Meetings. (Over Eaters Anonymous)

I think it more means it's just a number so long as it's not causing health issues, not everyone is meant to be skinny...but it's still good to maintain healthy weight like such as doesn't cause health concerns. Though that doesn't just apply to heavier people,I myself have problems going underweight and sometimes have to try to gain weight because my lack of it can cause problems. The key is being at a healthy weight, but someone doesn't have to be skinny to be attractive. My boyfriend is a bit chubby and from time to time gets concerned of too much weight gain....but I don't expect he'd become skinny like me as that's not how he's built.

By the way, when I'm talking about the beautiful no matter what thing, I'm referring to other people's mentality towards me. That isn't my mentality. I wanted to clear that up.

Eat too many calories? Whatever. I don't eat a lot of junk food, I despise fast food. I'm not some freaking stereotype.

A lot of times when I've told people about my clothing size they assume the worst, that I'm some lazy slob who eats like a glutton. I keep track of every little thing I eat and do not go above my calorie limit which I have on My Fitness Pal.

I wasn't going to say all of this, but I decided to clear it all up. The people who said that didn't make me feel better. They actually made me remember that I work and have worked very hard to get where I am today.

People assume that I'm insecure. People assume the worst about me. I've had boyfriends and I have a good life that isn't centered around Burger King and snack cakes.

My lifestyle isn't sitting on the couch all day and wishing I was someone and something I'm clear as day not.

Yeah I did not get the impression there is anything wrong with your lifestyle or that you're a lazy slob. Also I don't think 240 is a terribly unhealthy weight...if you were in the 300+ pounds than it might be something to work on. But yeah I think varying body types can be beautiful, but irresponsible to imply to people who are clearly putting their health at risk that its not necessary to put effort into health because 'they're beautiful no matter what.'

I feel like some people just skimmed through your first post without really reading it.

I wouldn't say that 'weight is just a number', but I do believe that it's often not the priority.

I am obese, according to BMI. I'm short, I have curves in all the wrong places, my figure isn't one for people to be jealous of, let's put it that way! I'm not huge, but I'm bigger than most.

I do, however, walk quite a bit. I eat well, too - I have my indulgent meals, maybe even a few indulgent days, but generally what I eat is very healthy and natural food. I am also in the fortunate situation that my body is used to this healthy way of eating - if I go off track for a few days, for example on holiday or celebrating a special occasion - then my body lets me know that it's not happy. I start to feel ill at the thought of any more junk food and have to get back to normal.

Meanwhile, I know of women with the stereotypically beautiful body - slim and the right shape - who are always drinking coffee/alcohol, they go out for cakes regularly, they live off unhealthier food than I eat. Admittedly these same women take action by going to slimming classes when they put on a few pounds and would not let themselves reach my weight (currently a size 14-16 at 5ft 1in), and they do tend to go to formal fitness classes whilst I just walk a lot, but I'm willing to consider that whilst I'm no temple of health, they're not going to be either!

Also, I do believe that a lot of it is genetic (to an extent). I notice this particularly as a mother. My daughter has my body shape - the 'big' build. She's actually quite slim in comparison to her friends, but still looks 'big' against some of them because her body is a different shape. She has some friends that are a level of slim and dainty that I know she would never reach, but their mothers are the same - all of these little children have inherited build and shape, and it shows.

Yeah, that's true too. I'm the thinnest in my family even though I seem to eat the most. I think genes play a big role. It's not like all overweight people are just lazy.

Well now it's good to see most people think people who are heavy are completely at fault for their weight problem. NOT.

Calling us names such as gluttons do not help us to try to lose weight. It just makes us feel worse about ourselves. I seem to have been born to be fat. I hardly eat anything during the day and then at supper I have a couple of ham sandwiches. Am I losing weight? Maybe a pound in the past month!

When I was in my mid-late 20's I had to really push myself hard to lose weight. I would go walking for at least four hours a day and drink liters of water. I started going to a gym and when on hour a day didn't seem to help I worked out at home for at least another hour or so. And I lost a lot of weight. But I was still unhappy because I was still UGLY, and because my loose skin looked even more disgusting and I couldn't and did not want to undergo surgery to remove it. And I was always living in fear of gaining it back. My anxiety was at an all-time high. I did not enjoy all the exercise, it was painful and and like torture and I dreaded doing it every day. I started resorting to laxitives and once I even overdosed on them in an attempt to keep from gaining. This was also during the time my life fell apart and I was finally diagnosed with Asperger's. When 9/11 and other horrible things happened I wondered what was the point of trying to stay at a weight that society finds acceptable when we're all going to die soon, anyway? I don't drink or smoke or have sex, so if I don't eat what am I, perfect??

Do I think weight is just a number? No. I guess age isn't just a number either, so I may as well be dead.

I personally think chubbier women are very attractive. I have spouted on about this before around here. Beautiful isn't a weight thing. For some it may be, and for others thin women aren't attractive. There's many factors and everyone has different tastes.

But weight, as you said, has a limit to where it's going too far for someone's own well being and how they look too. You seem to have what I think are the right ideas. Healthy but not obsessed. People feel better at closer to an optimal weight, but I think people take it too far. Part of life is enjoying it. A big part. Too much or too little of most things makes enjoyment harder.

I know at my worst I was around 330 or so. And I felt like total s**t. I was able to function with most things, but was also quite young... mid 20s. Even recently I had to lose weight and went from 285 to about 250 in three months and feel much better physically and mentally, with little to do with appearance.

My point in this jumping around is that either extreme is bad. People shouldn't fetish-ize grossly overweight women, but women who dont fit the mold of what's expected by many shouldn't have to be made to feel shame about themselves because they are a little chubbier. My wife who I was with for 12 years was overweight, but I thought she was totally beautiful. If people wanna take s**t care of themselves and die it's their business. But no one should want that totally.

I understand how it scares me too the direction we are headed in society. Pretty soon, guys who like skinny girls will have no options left, because skinny girls are already becoming rarer and a lesser supply of them.

The failure to face oneself is a big flaw.

It's very tiring to hear the same old excuses, and the blame being passed.

No-one forces anyone to eat their third burger for the day.

I personally find making excuses for obesity offensive, and dangerous. So I'm going to address your post:

Most are completely at fault. It's called consuming too many calories and not exercising.

We are all responsible to help ourselves. There's only so long you can blame others for.

Hopefully you'll realise this before lying in hospital with fear of death plastered across your face.

Take some responsibility.



Surely someone else will intervene here and explain to you the error of your eating habits.



It's amazing how many times the word 'I' is used in such threads. And in general throughout this forum.

1) get over your ego
2) stop lying to yourself
3) stop blaming 'society'


The simple fact you feel the need to explain yourself speaks volumes - more than you likely realise.



I say the above to help you. But it'll likely be interpreted as trolling.


I'd class trolling as telling you everything is great, society is at fault, and some of us are just 'born to be big'.



Obesity is a choice.