Feeling overwhelmed, I don't know where to turn

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Alright, I know that I made countless threads in this forum section asking the same question. Now I'm feeling really frustrated and overwhelmed with even beginning to get into shape, aka the "doing" part. I think about it all the time, but please, tell me all the steps how I need to get started actually doing it. I feel so lazy.

I already exhausted my free gym trainer session. Unfortunately, from now on it will cost hundreds of dollars per session to get any training. My aids who go out into the community with me adamantly insist that I should never try the free weight room. I can't reason with them or even get rid of them. I hate them for being so critical to me. The reason is that if I use free weights, they fear that I will hurt myself or others. I feel so ret*d.

Even one of them doesn't want me to say anything bad about her. I'm sick of it. I just wish I can go back to the way things were before the community aids got involved in my life. I want them gone, what am I going to do to make a compelling case that I want them to be gone. Or am I totally stuck with them as long as I "lack" independent skills. I think mom got me into this, she was the one who kind of insisted on it, but I gave into her.

I just want freedom in life and I want to be able to do whatever I feel like in the gym.