Very overweight mother. Will I be fat too?

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Hi. My mom, as the title says, is quite, well, fat. She knows it, and complains about it often, is constantly tired and grumpy, yells at us a lot out of frustration, and makes life tense for everyone in the family, herself included.

I don't know why. She was always skinny, even at 27, began to get curvaceous before conceiving and having my twin brother and I, got a little chubbier... And my first memories of her are of her being decidedly overweight.

She got down to 130 pounds when I was in 5th grade, but frustration made her big again.

My bmi is 20.7. I'm not fat by any account. I can be capable of eating unhealthy, but I exercise regularly and so far I don't gain weight easily. I have a dead thyroid and since starting on the hormone I've lost 7 pounds.

My mother's mother was skinny for most of her life, got big when she had an injury, then lost weight again. Her dad wasn't overweight to my knowledge. Two of her three siblings are also overweight. They lived on and off food stamps, which can contribute to overeating later on.

My dad's parents are both healthy and he is very fit, especially for a 53 year old.

I've heard that many women my mother's age are overweight. I live in an affluent town, and most moms of my female peers aren't, save for the peers who are themselves overweight. I hate to say it, but I'm embarrassed by her. I love her, but she's also hard to be around due to frustration about weight and other things.

I wonder if this is nature or nurture. Will I be destined to be overweight?

There are many factors that will determine and influence your and your mothers weight.

As to whether you are destined to become over weight, i would say unless you have an inherited illness such as massive problems with your thyroid being under-active or similar then the other factors will be within your control.

I am 43 year old man, who has been super fit, at times musclely and fat.
The reason in the amount of variation over the years again has been influenced by the same factors.

Firstly, my health has been up and down. Suffering from anxiety likely related to Autism Spectrum Condition certainly makes keeping weight off harder and usually is one of the factors that will have an impact on the speed of your metabolic rate.

Another factor for me is that i spent a great deal of my life being undiagnosed with testosterone deficiency which meant that my testosterone level was extremely low which meant that i had no energy at all to live my life.
This meant i was not as active in physical exercise which meant that i put weight on easy, and found it hard to burn off.

I am now treated for testosterone deficiency which allows me to exercise regularly and because of this, i have lost a fair amount of weight.

Ironically, before having testosterone problems. during the ages of 11 and 18, i was extremely active, training obsessionally in karate. By the time i was 15 I was training 7 days a week and was athletic and lean.
Which was a contrast as i was obese when i first started partly because i suffered from asthma, anxiety and was premature (so had over protective parents).

Now I am 43, and after spending some years getting fat and being completely inactive ( i literally slept for 2 years following the death of my older brother).

I am now training again in martial arts (Judo now) and exercise most days for at least 40 mins at a moderate rate.
I have lost a great deal of the weight that i had put on while inactive and am now fairly thin at least for my age.

However, my diet is presently fairly bad. I love chocolate, cheese and pizzas. I like coffee with 6 sugars in once a day and i like an alcohol binge once a week where i likely drink my quota in one night.

If i sorted out my diet by eating all the right things, gave up all the bad things and didn't go on alcohol binges once or so a week, i would likely lose another stone or so.

Incidentally, i find that exercise is probably the best way to reduce anxiety. So that's cool.
Training at the gym can also be quiet entertaining, with different people turning up every day.
Sometimes you can find gyms for people who only like same sex training or for people who do not want to hang out with others. no problem.

So, the 4 things that affect my weight are:

1: Exercise
2: Diet
3: Health disposition
4: Stress (lifestyle/work)

If you do all of these and get the right balance, i would imagine you will be able to maintain your weight.
Your mum may also be able to improve on her present circumstance with your help. Perhaps you could coach her?

Please note that metabolic weight does slow down with age, this does not mean that you are going to end up super over weight. It just means that you have to be more careful with what you eat and perhaps get more active with your exercise.

good luck and try not to worry.
On a positive note, there are loads of sports and clubs that are great fun.
I recommend Judo for an over all work out as well as a great sport, and a good way to learn self defence.
Good luck

If you have overweight parents, you are more at risk yourself, but it's no guarentee. (of course, this only counts if the parents, especially the mother, was heavy before or during pregnancy, if she got heavy afterwards, the effect is a lot less).

The best thing you can do is what you are doing already: the ELMM diet (Eat Less, Move More). Diets and fads are often more dangerous than beneficial, so stay away from those unless your doctor recommends one (and only use that specific one)