Depression

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I’m having a lot of issues with my mental health right now, the main issues being depression and anxiety. I’m out of work for many reasons and my life is a non stop cycle of doing the same things each day. I have zero motivation to do much else. I want to but can’t bring myself to. I’m making myself more miserable by not doing the things I want to do.

I have forced myself to go on a diet and lose weight (I’m overweight) and that is going relatively well. That is something. I have chronic pain so exercise is difficult.

Any advice?

Celebrate the small victories. "Baby steps." The little things that you change in your daily routine are victories. You can feel good about them.

If I usually eat a lot right before bed, but one night, I get by with a bowl of cereal before bed... that is a victory. I find that I sleep better with a light supper than with a heavier supper.

If I never watch a TV show and months go by without watching a TV show, but one evening, I decide to watch Seinfeld, and it makes me laugh ... that is a victory. A victory over what? A victory over not-laughing, over being too-serious. Laughter is good medicine.

I have a 2024 calendar on my refrigerator. I try to write down something I did that day.

Have you tried medication for your depression? Have they worked in any way to decrease depressive symptoms?

What about exercise - do you do regular exercise? This can help with depression if kept up with.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’re facing a tough cycle, but there are small things you can do to start breaking it. First, try starting small—pick one small, manageable action each day, like reading for 5 minutes or trying a gentle movement for your chronic pain. Focus on making a simple routine that gives you a little structure, but don’t pressure yourself to do everything at once. If possible, find a way to reconnect with activities that bring you joy, even in small doses. DBT skills, like mindfulness and self-compassion, can be really helpful here—reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel stuck, and that even tiny steps forward matter. And don’t forget to prioritize rest and seek professional help if needed. You’re doing the best you can, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.

I probably should have mentioned that I’m already on meds, duloxetine specifically. I’ve been on a lot of different pills throughout my life for this. They tend to work somewhat for about two months or so and then my body gets used to them. I am on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist again so hopefully they will give me something new.

Thanks all It has progressively gotten worse since 2012 or so.

2012? That is a long time to have been depressed. I totally relate though... I experience long-term depression too.

It’s odd, it’s like my mind is still stuck in 2010 or so in a lot of ways. The best way I can describe it is that I feel like I’m living in the future. Everything halted around then. One of the reasons I decided to post here is because it’s an old school forum, it’s like the forums I posted on in 2010. I have spoken to therapists about this but it’s such an odd specific feeling they don’t seem to know what advice to give me. I was 19 in 2010 btw, I’m now 33.

I looked up your med. It is indicated for anxiety, depression and chronic pain. It can also cause drowsiness.

My doc had me take rimeron for sleep as needed. It always left me dopey. I noticed that caffeine didn’t help but sugar did.

I also have worked through CBT, ACT, and DBT. They all help to some extent.

Maslow’s hierarchy can also help. It shows me ways I might take care of myself and work on improving.

Things to google.

I keep this list:

HALT and Maslow
2022-10-22

HALT (When Needs are not met)
Hungry (or Hurting) Angry Lonely Tired

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
05 Self-Actualization
Desire to become all that one can be
04 Esteem
Respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength, freedom
03 Love and Belonging
Friendship, intimacy, family (sometimes sexual), sense of connection
02 Saftey Needs
Personal security, employment, resources, health, property
01 Physiological Needs
Air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, (sexual) reproduction

Did any specific events happen in 2010 that might have been emotionally significant, or traumatizing? I think the phrase being "stuck in the past" is commonly known because it happens for a lot of people, replaying memories over and over from years gone by, or remembering emotions tied to a specific time scale, that has long since passed.

I used to think about a particular time period where I was traumatized by a particular person a lot, and it made me feel also like life had ended around that point, for quite some time.

What type of forums did you visit back in 2010? I enjoy the retro feeling of forums like this one, too. The future, which has included a focus on social media, post 2010, is also not particularly palatable to me.

I wonder if medications help too much so that there isn't a big need to confront painful issues and move on?

I was assaulted at a house party but that was in 2008/2009. It did take me a while to process that. It definitely wasn’t just that though. I would hang out a lot at my sisters house before then and she moved so I missed her a lot. My gran died in 2013 which also hit me hard but it started before that.

I posted a lot in Sims forums, graphic design forums and then a teen support forum I was a mod on.

I am very sorry to hear that you were assaulted and that you took some time to work through the emotional fallout from that.

How far away did your sister move? My gran died at a similar time as yours. R.I.P

I used to post on an Xbox forum, before joining this one. But that website no longer exists.

I've been depressed since at least eight years old (I'm now 57). I remember way back then climbing onto a roof and threatening to jump off. When I climbed up, I realised that it was unlikely I'd die. More likely break an arm or leg. So I didn't jump.

After nearly fifty years, I've come to realise that the low happy hormones is probably just the Aspie factory setting, with no permanent cure. The dopamine, serotonin, etc. levels can be temporarily raised through exercise, social activities, successes in activities, but the levels will sink back to the factory settings in a couple of hours.

So the answer might be to work out what personally raises your levels (write a list), and fill your waking hours with such things.

I should take my own advice. I woke up this morning contemplating 'jumping off a roof'. Do most days. After all this time it's unlikely that I ever will, but it's near daily. I need to work on my happy list.

My girlfriend has similar issues OP. Meds help her some but Cass had some very bad luck with some meds as well. Duloxetine was one of the worst meds for her. She was only on it very briefly & she developed some impulse control problems like compulsive buying & she had bad withdrawal symtoms when she quit. She tried a few stimulants & similar type meds to give her more energy & help her focus more but they make her hyper & cause her to have more problems sleeping.
As for as what meds help~ The seizure med Neurontin/Gabapentin helped with her OCD & pain a little. I take the same dose for my OCD & it helps me a lot. Cass switched it to Lyrica/Pregabalin a year ago & that helps her pain a tad more after increasing the dose a bit & it helps her depression a little but her OCD is little worse. Buspar/Buspirone helps her anxiety a little. I'm on the max dose for my anxiety & it helps my anxiety a lot. Other meds she's on & tried may not be worth mentioning.

We haven't found much else that majorly helps her except for her being less social. Cass spends a bit of time going visit family every month & she needs at least a couple days off to recover after. They guilt-trip her into visting them at their place & Cass doesn't know how to set boundaries. I really wish I had more helpfull advice for you OP.