Helping Someone Quit Smoking - Any Ideas?

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Good News:

My boyfriend, who has been a heavy smoker for a long time, recently asked me to help him quit. The simple fact that he said this is something to celebrate. I think he's been smoking at least 2 packs a day for about 20 - 30 years, and up until yesterday, he always said, "I'll never be able to quit. I'm doomed and I accept my fate."

As a former addict myself, I understand that when someone lacks the motivation to change, there's not much you can do to help, but once they show any interest in kicking the habit, you can seize that opportunity and run with it, offering as much support and encouragement as possible. I know that any help from a friend goes a long way - long ago, a good friend helped me to break a bad habit.

The Challenge:

The trouble here is that cigarettes are not addictive for me, so I don't really understand what he's dealing with. I used to smoke, and I could always quit very easily. My experience of nicotine withdrawal was feeling tense and anxious for a day or two. I suspect those were purely psychological effects, now that I have learned that nicotine withdrawal typically causes severe headaches, depression, insomnia, weight gain . . . the list goes on. And I learned that on average, a smoker makes 7 - 15 attempts to quit before being successful!

The Quest for Solutions:

So does anyone have any ideas about how to help someone quit smoking? I don't want to nag him or do some stupid reward and punishment system - as a former addict I know how ineffective these things are. We're both poor and uninsured so he can't take advantage of all the medical options.

I was thinking maybe I should tell him about the time I was in the hospital for a week with pneumonia and nearly got a chest tube (which involves being stabbed in the chest while you're awake)? Or maybe I should emphasize that every cigarette he doesn't smoke will give us more time together? I mean, should I try to scare him straight or be more compassionate and optimistic? Should I avoid inducing guilt (like by saying that his second-hand smoke could give me a stroke and cancer) or would that be a good thing? Should I try to make a big deal of small accomplishments or have more of a you-can-do-better attitude?

Former smokers, how did you quit for good?

Well being one who was able to quit for six months, the only that really did the trick was to throw out my cigarettes and tell my ex to not let me have the money to buy any more. It’s a shame I was silly enough to start smoking again.

I would recommend seeing a doctor about getting a prescription for any of the medications that are on the market that aid in quitting. I’ve heard good reports on Chantix.

Yeah, that drug does sound pretty good. One of the times I quit, I was on Welbutrin, and that seemed to make a difference, so I bet Chantix is better.

Too bad he doesn't have the money or insurance to see a doctor, but we do live in an area where there are lots of small non-profits and weird little government organizations that give you free stuff (one gives you free birth control and related doctor's appointments if you are under a certain income and "capable of reproducing"). So who knows. I'm researching it when I have the time.

I'm certainly not expecting change to come quickly in this case!

Some people find it helpful to chew on licorice root (available in health food stores). There's something in it that is supposed to ease the craving for nicotine, and it also provides oral gratification. It has a somewhat licorice-y taste (but not sweet like the candy) that stays with you, so it represses some people's appetites. For people who are concerned about weight gain following quitting cigarettes, this can be a positive. But having the taste in your mouth all the time can be annoying.

That's really interesting. I would have never thought of that. Thank you!

You could probably research the internet and find all the nasty dieases and health problems smoking causes, also get some really graphic pictures.

I wouldn't guilt him or pressure though, just ecourage and support him.

Maybe andidea is keep a record of how long he can break the habbit until he relapses, then when he tries to give up again he should try and beat the time. Eventually he should get stronger and hopefully won't relapses. But that's for him to do, if you pressure him he might end up smoking behind your back etc.

Maybe work out how much money he is spending on cigarettes, over a week, a year etc.. I may be a small fortune..

Yeah he will get grumpy as hell without his cigs so be ready for that.

Good luck bats.

Those are good ideas.

I fully understand the last thing you said. His idea was to do some kind of reward and punishment system, but it's obvious those things don't work. The person just gets sneaky, and then you get to have arguments about whether or not they were breaking the rules, which is essentially useless in the long run.



Woah, it's at least enough to fly us both to his homeland on the other side of the world and back! And that's if we didn't even bother to look for cheaper than average fares!

That reminds me . . . that was a way I motivated myself to quit - I figured out how much I was spending per year and decided it was stupid and I'd rather spend the money on something else.



Oh I can't wait. Maybe he'll even break up with me for a little while, haha. But whatever, I'll understand. If he ever succeeds, it'll be worth it.



Thanks, MR_BOGAN!

Chantix is bad. It cannot be taken by anyone in the transportation/safety departments of the State/Fed/Local levels. It actually causes suicidal tendancies as well as many other mental health problems. It has also caused stroke/heart attacks in some users. Our local pharm says the FDA is getting ready to pull it from the shelves and NOT TO TAKE IT!

I have never been a smoker but my parents were. Your boyfriend will need to find something else to do with his hands if he's attempting to quit smoking. Maybe eating something like sunflower seeds? that will be a good substitute for the hand to mouth habit. Also hard candies to suck on. That's what my dad did, & he quit cold turkey. Another suggestion might be to calculate just how much he spends on cigarettes, & maybe even tack on health care costs, especially for the future. Health care gets more expensive as a person ages, & smokers' health care is even more expensive. For instance, my mom was a very heavy smoker in her younger years. She's had several bouts of pneumonia over the yeas, & the last one landed her in the hospital for about 5 months. She had to have 3 chest tubes inserted into her lung to draw out the toxins. It was really expensive & she almost didn't make it. She's still recovering & will probably never reach her previous level of health. Not to be a downer or anything but these things are the reality if you smoke...quitting sooner than later is for the best & never smoking at all is better still.

Good luck!

Thank you, aspiemom1.

The reports that I had heard were from people taking the med. I did not know that the FDA was planning on pulling it from the market. Yikes!

Most welcome. Its scary enough that air traffic controllers and other safety workers cannot take it.

I also have a friend that was taking it, and it took almost a month for the effects to get out of his system. It was a horrible time. (oh and hes back to smoking)

I heard ibogaine helps some people give up smoking. But I think it can make you trip out as well.

Huh. I've heard of that psychedelic drug being used to help people quit using opiates. I believe it is illegal in the US.

There are reports of chantix causing mood problems etc. so if are going to use it do your homework and ask questions. K bye

Yes, Chantix is suspect. A friend of mine quit smoking in two days with it...BUT...
Chantix works by messing with the pleasure center in your brain. It can make smoking an utterly useless, unenjoyable activity, so it becomes easy to quit. The trouble is, it can do the same thing for all activities, and cause severe depression and suicidal tendencies as a result. My friend had both, quit Chantix, and resumed smoking.
Be careful with that stuff.
I'm glad I never started smoking. Really glad.

The internet ate my response, but I wanted to post again.

I quit for over 6 years but curiosity killed the cat and I had a cigarette. I thought that it would make me choke and cough but it didn't. It was almost like I had never quit.

So, to help your partner, here are my suggestions. With any luck, maybe they will help.

1. Guilt does not work.
2. Nicotene replacement patches work in that they ease the 24/7 edge of cravings. In addition,
3. Make a goodie bag for him: his favorite gum, a couple of squishy stress balls, mints, a deck of playing cards, his favorite magazine/book, puzzles like Sudoku, word search or crosswords, etc. Most of these items can be purchased at a dollar or discount store.
4. On the first couple of days, take him to a place he has never been before. He might not associate them with smoking.
5. A tall cold glass of water, sipped slowly.
6. Deep breathing, especially during a craving. It is a wonder what fresh air can do, even though it might mimic inhaling on a cigarette.
7. If really necessary, get him some drinking straws and cut them to the size of a cigarette.

Best wishes and good luck!! !!