'Letting yourself go': Have you and do you regret it?

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Man I'm starting to really regret letting myself go which statred sometime mid college. By letting myself go, I meant my physical image. I developed a lot of facial scars (mostly through cold sores, cysts, scab picking), I have more freckles on my face than I use to and and tanned areas from not using sunblock. I kinda regret this because I think I looked better with a certain amount of freckles (not too little and not too less) though I'm afraid there's more now than I wanted. I even destroyed the Cindy Crawford style beauty mark I had above my lip cause I couldnt stop picking at it. Now it's not as noticable as it used to be.

I also gained 10 pounds. I think my big sign was that I was gaining some serious fat was when I got a heat rash on my side this summer because of the flab rolling in on one side. I thought they were mosquito bites but then they became blisters so even if I didnt touch them at all, I still got scars as a result.

Damn, I'm kicking myself for letting this happen. I never though myself as attractive looking but when I look back on high school/middle school pictures, I looked a helluva better and more prepped then than I do now.

I feel like a total slob now. And weight in women is hard to lose. So I dont think I can fix any of this. I'm an obsessive scab picker btw so I dont see my cysts or pimples going away anytime soon.

Anyone feel the same about themselves sometimes?

You bet I do. When I was a freshman in high school, I weighed about 120 lbs. soaking wet, with a real high metabolism. This was mostly because I was taking gym and was getting regular exercise. After my third and final required semester of gym, I no longer desired to take gym because I was made fun of due to body hair coming in rather early in my years (hence, the Chewbacca avatar). The regular exercise also stopped, which caused my metabolism to go down. Slowly the weight creeped up, and before you know it, I am 36 and weigh over 300 lbs. I know weight loss is attainable, but I often feel like it's too many hurdles and I just want to give up. I do not have a lot of patience, and suffer from anxiety issues to go along with my AS.

I agree that letting yourself go is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. The good news is that it is reversable. You just need to to have the conviction and perseverance to do it. Easier said than done. I know. But speaking as someone who three years ago was signifiantly overweight, dedicating myself to getting back into shape was one of the best things I have ever done.

OP: now that you're aware of the problem, start fixing it. It is physically possible to lose weight through simple means, such as daily lengthy walks and dropping sodas from diet.

Gyms are unnecessary for this purpose.

Mind you if you walk around the block for 15 minutes you will not accomplish much. It has to be an hour or more. Not necessarily powerwalking, but not shuffling feet while looking at the ground, either.

I'm a scab picker too, I've heard that it's an anxiety thing though for me it's more of a self harm thing.
I luckily don't get acne on my face much besides the forehead (which is covered with bangs), otherwise the scars would be noticeable and that would get me freaked out about rejection.
My chest though is another story. I can't wear anything semi low cut anymore, and even some higher cut things show them. I miss feeling beautiful, I feel like an ugly freak now.
And I've gained weight, though that isn't my fault. I had to go on some medication that causes me to gain weight, and although I'm off it now, I still haven't lost it. I can't do much exercise because of low blood pressure, but even if I did, I'm so damn depressed that I barely want to move most days. I eat extremely healthy, but I do eat more then the typical person (partly from the medication, my appetite is starting to get back down)
I was around 130-140, and I suspect I'm now 160. I have ugly stretch marks everywhere, and everything is flabby, even my arms, which used to be one of my best parts of my body. I hate myself now.

I don't know what I can do to help, I haven't gotten past my own issues yet. Maybe it'll help to know that you're not alone?

I was just watching a "You can look good naked" programme. It featured identical twins.
One had had three children, stretch marks all over, and looked dejected and washed out. The other was single and perky.

They weren't slim gazelles. The advisor pointed out that they had curves. Got them into control underwear, and dressed them in Marilyn Monroe style outfits. They looked a million dollars. What the depressed twin had considered fat had been transformed into a bust and curvy figure that was truly attractive, that a slim person simply wouldn't have.

I don't know if it helps, but they did look truly good.

I'm the opposite. I used to be a bit on the heavier side then one day I decided to lose the weight and eat healthier. Now when I look back at my hideous high school photos I cringe. I don't find myself attractive, but it feels a lot better now than before.

You seem like a nice person. Remember beauty runs skin deep. And if you want to change this then motivate yourself.

It feels bad right now but you can reverse this, and although it won't just be no big deal, it also won't be as hard to do as you fear. Also, even though you are 32 and probably feel like that's a hard age to lose pounds or change your body, honestly I look back now and realize I was "still young" relatively speaking, at 32. When I WAS 32 I thought it was old! But in truth, it's really, really not that old. Even in terms of metabolism in women, at 32 yours is still probably working fairly well. It's only after menopause that a woman's metabolism can make things a quantum leap harder regarding weight loss and weight control.

I was about your age when dealing with the emotional fallout of my divorce. I gained about 28lbs! Just by comfort eating, mostly all carb based comfort eating (baked potatoes and such). When I got more aware of how I was using food this way, I was able to challenge it and I found the weight coming back off again by being mindful of what I'd been doing and changing that. I'm not saying any of that was easy but I'm saying that by hook or by crook, I did in fact lose that weight and return to the size I'd been before. These things are all reversible, it just takes the work to put in, but you're halfway there by recognizing it.

I'm not saying yours is the same reason as mine, but I'm illustrating that I had weight gain too and managed to lose it. Slowly is better than rushing at it, too. Don't plan to lose ten lbs in a couple of weeks -- understand that you just need to adjust gently in your habits regarding diet and exercise, and things will happen naturally from there. You're not too old for that still to be the case; things get truly harder in the 50s. Just saying that to let you know there's totally still hope and you it's never too late to reverse any letting yourself go that has been happening, especially at your age.

Have I let myself go? Well, if getting to 215 pounds at 5'6", having no muscle tone to speak of, not being able to run (at ALL, it's as if my body forgot how) and drinking 22-36 ounces of been on an average night qualifies as "letting yourself go" then yes, I have.

At the age of 46, though, I just got done with it. Went to sparkpeople, signed up, followed the simple and easy program of logging everything that I swallowed (beer, snacks, tasting food as I was cooking, literally everything) and sticking to the calorie range appropriate to my current weight, lost 80 pounds in 8 months, started powerlifting, fell in love with that, and five years later at 51 I still weigh 80 pounds less than I did then, only less of that is fat (by weight I'm about 23% fat).

Do I regret it? No. I do not regret "letting myself go" because at the time, I did not care at all what I looked like. In fact, if there is one side effect of transitioning to a much healthier weight and way of life, that I have considerably mixed feelings about it is that my physical appearance has become more of a preoccupation than it ever was during the 12 years I spent ungroomed, obese, and unrepentantly unattractive. It's irritating that I get attention now and cannot be sure why I'm getting it, where before, it was easy to know that if someone approached me it was likely to be because 1) they wanted a favor 2) they liked talking to me, 3) they wanted me to stop doing something distracting or annoying.

No you have to love yourself. I am fat and I am glad I am fat. Fat people overall look a lot better than skinny people.

I "let myself go" a few years back. A couple years ago, I dropped 35 pounds and got back into shape. I regretted letting myself go in the first place, but finding a decent gym and the "work" of what I was doing became exhausting.

When I got back into shape, I focused on a lifestyle I could easily maintain. I'm not as strong as I was before, but I'm not exhausting myself from the effort either.