Am I possessed?

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I just feel frightened because I'm not meant to have friends. I'm not too bad at making friends, but whoever I do make friends with they either end up bullying me, or if they're too nice to bully me they end up moving far away where I can't ever see them again. And each time I make a new friend, I be ''punished'', as though something up in the sky doesn't want me having friends. I've made a few friends at the charity shop where I volunteer, but ever since I got to know them properly, bad things have been happening to me or my loved ones, like my dad lost his job recently, and I've been getting migranes, and my nan has got ill, and my mum keeps getting a lump on her neck, and more stuff like that. And I'm beginning to think it's no coincidence because it's been the same pattern since I was about 10 years old, and since then I've lost at least 35 friends since, in all different ways. I'm 20 now and it's still happening. It's like I'm being punished for something I didn't do. I'm starting to believe in God, and supernatural powers, and possessing, and karma, and ''passed lives'', and reincarnation, and all other spooky/religeous stuff like that, because it's like there's something watching over me all the time and is doing anything to take any friend I have away from me.

Am I possessed, do you think? All I know is there's something spooky going on, not coincidence.

No you probably have gotten that idea in your head and now every time something happens your using it to reinforce it.

This is what I think is happening, and it has nothing to do with possession. Autistic people never stop learning. And once we learn something, we tend not to forget it. This causes huge problems in our relationships because small irritants that NT people forget about keep building up with us. I push people away after I've known them for a while because their tendencies to do the same annoying things over and over eventually make them intolerable. I am working on this, and being aware of it makes it better

And then there's the fact that our brains really do work differently from most people's. We start friendships often with the illusion that someone is more like us than they actually are. Even two people with autism will tend to be more different from each other than two NT people will tend to be. Because every NT brain is pretty much the same and every autistic brain is different.

So I sometimes reach a point with friends where I feel like we just don't have anything in common, that we've exhausted what little real similarities we had, and that I need to move on.

I try to be a good friend, and then be nice when it's time to break up. I think that's enough.

I don't beat myself up anymore, but I did when I was your age. Try to stop. There's nothing spooky going on-- it feels that way because your brain works in ways that are still confusing to you. Focus on what's going on there. Keep posting and describing things here.

You can learn anything, and you'll learn how to deal with this.

But the friends who were too nice to be bullies or too descent to fall out, something still seemed to come between us to make it so we'll never see eachother again, which is nothing to do with me being an Aspie. It's just fate. Like I made friends with my bus-driver, and he was the most reliable friend I had ever had - then low and behold they put my bus into another bus company, and now he doesn't drive my bus anymore. We do email eachother occasionally, and I've asked if we could meet up, but he works full time and lives a good hour away from me, so it's not as simple as it seems. So I can't really see him anymore. Also I met a friend where I volunteer, but she soon moved to New Zealand, which is the opposite side of the world from me. I gave her my email address, but we still can't really see eachother and meet up or anything (unless I went to New Zealand but I haven't got money for that). And someone else who I met where I volunteer has left and I haven't seen her since. I heard she's moving up to Norfolk and starting a fresh.

So it's still happening to me. Is it fate mucking me about?

Without wanting to step on anyone's spiritual toes, I'm almost completely certain there is no scientific basis what so ever for attributing your experiences to possession or fate. Ultimately, I think your experiences are just a fact of normal life. People, relationships and friendships come and go as quickly as the wind.

It happens to everyone, but you're not necessarily going to see it all simply because you have only one perspective on the world, and that is your own. Relationships are not permanent; they're always in flux. Some might last longer than others, but sooner or later they will end, only to be replaced for most the part by new ones.

I think with time it will become easier to manage.

I found this on another online forum:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

Thank you for being a part of my life,

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I actually felt the same way as a child, all the way until my late teenage years.
I've heard it said before that some people on the autism spectrum people blame themselves for all the bad things that happen around them.
I think this is true.
But all of us get life challenges like that.The fact that you may have more of these challenges than other people is not an
indicative that some supernatural force is after you to do you harm.It's just life.And life is a b***.
There's no such thing as fairness when it comes to life.Some people do have it a lot easier than others,
and some have bigger challenges than others.
But this sort of paranoid thinking is illogical, and will not help you in any way - It'll only make things worse.
I used to think the same type of thing, but soon realized I was being unrealistic and looking for patterns where
there were none.
You just have to do the best you can with what you have, use your strengths to their fullest extent, and don't let your
weaknesses creep up on you.
Just keep trying, and don't waste your energy blaming yourself for things you had no control over.
Bad things happen all the time for no reason, it's just a part of life that all of us have to deal with.

Maybe so, but it's all brilliant timing. And it ain't just with friends - it's with anything I achieve. Even my family sometimes say, ''oh something up there doesn't want me to do so-and-so.''
I'm on job-seekers at the moment - and I've been on it for 2 and a half years - that is a very long time for someone who is constantly applying for about 6 jobs a day or more. So if I add all of that up that comes to about over 7, 000 jobs or something (can't work it out properly but that's an exaggeration). Surely I would have got a job by now - other people have. Even just a part time sales assistant or something simple like that is still not so.
Also - I've gone on a 3-week course now, so I can get a booster on getting into work - but low and behold, only November, it's started snowing already, so next week I'm going to have to half the week off (because I rely on a bus to get there, and if the tutor can't get in then I've got no choice but to not go in obviously), and so I won't complete this course. I can't extend it because we are borrowing a room in the airport for 3 weeks only. It's such a pain in the arse.
I've never known it to snow in November in all the years I've lived - except this year, when I am about to actually get somewhere in my life - only to be once again ruined.
Explain that.

I hope you figure it out. Your imagination is your imagination. Nobody can understand it except you. Know who you are and who you want to be. Maybe you should have an exorcism.

It snowed November last year as well. I think it's likely that you don't remember the weather in a lot of detail from previous years, because it never previously impacted your life to such an extent.

No, you are not possessed. You might be depressed, but not possessed. There is no such thing as supernatural possession. Whatever is happening is caused by an imbalance in the neurotransmitters etc. in your centeral nervous system causing you to make connections and causing you to think you are possessed. I know the feeling, and it has nothing to do with spirits etc.

The title of this thread has a little sarcasm thrown into it.

But I like all of your advice.

It looks like someone has watched one too many horror movies!

What you have is called depression. Remember that. Depression, not possession.

I don't watch horror movies - I just sit and wonder ''why does it all happen to me?''

And it ain't just social relationships. In fact, it's nothing at all to do with what I'm going to say about next. These are just little trivial things, but they all add up to one big problem what is making me wonder. Here's some examples:-

Wasp attack
I am not exaggerating here - every time I'm ever sitting out in my garden in the summer with my family, and we get a wasp (or six!), they always fly around my head, and my head only. Always. It's nothing to do with the colours I wear, it's nothing to do with the shampoo I use, it's nothing to do with what I'm eating, because all the others who I'm with are also wearing bright colours/use strong shampoo/eat sweet things. I've even got jokey but serious comments, like, ''tsk, they're always after Josie!'' And it drives me mad in the end.

TV programmes
I am not exaggerating here either - EACH and EVERY time I ever pipe up one word in a room full of constantly chattering family members, a good advert or a good part of a show on the telly always comes on the very second I open my mouth to say a few words. I could have been sitting there mute for an hour, and they could have all been chattering, and then I could suddenly think, ''oh, they're talking about something relavent to me, I might say a few words'', and low and behold, somebody always turns to the telly and say, ''sshh - I was waiting all day for this bit to come on'', or, ''sshh - I love this advert!'' And it never happens to anyone else (well, it might, but not when I'm in the room). I know these things are Murphy's Law, but why does it always happen to ME all the time?

The wrong place
Back when I was in college, I was in a group of about 18 people. and the tables in our room was arranged in a U-shape around the room, and we were all sitting at the tables, practically facing eachother, all the seats filled up (you get the idea). On my first day (when I was shy and didn't know anyone yet), an electrician walked into the room and said he had to fix a light - which was right above where I was sitting (and I was sitting right in the middle). So all these strangers in this room looked at me and said, ''whatever-her-name-is has to get up,'' and the electrician also said to me, ''would you mind getting up a minute while I mend this light above you?'' And trust that to happen when you're shy enough as it is, and on your first day somewhere, and the fact that's it's you.

On the bus
I don't like little kids behind me because once there was one behind me on a bus and it was sick everywhere (luckily it didn't go on me), and it made me feel bad, because someone being sick everywhere is not nice to see, for anyone. And from that day onwards it has put my off having a little kid sitting behind me on public transport (plus the fact they kick the back of the seat and it gets over my tolerence level). But whenever I've got on a bus, the seat behind me is always empty, even when the bus gets really filled up - the seat behind me is still always left empty. Then at the last bus stop (when the bus is packed and I start getting overwhelmed with too many people inside a bus), on comes someone with a little kid - and they see me, then see the empty seat behind me, and the mother probably says to the kid, ''oh, there's an empty seat - right behind that girl.'' And she drags it down the bus and plonks it right behind me. Ohh, it happens every time, where ever I sit. And no - I don't smell, so others aren't trying to avoid me. It's just what always happens.

And there are loads of other examples, but if I wrote all of them down this post would be pages and pages long, and you would start getting a bit bored. And all of what I wrote has nothing to do with whether I have AS or not - it's just what always happens to me (whether I was NT or not), but it's worse that I am an Aspies who gets so much Murphy's Law in everything I do, because I find it hard to ignore things, or laugh things off. Well, if things happened to me occasionally, then I will not care at all, and I'll just laugh it off or calmly ignore it, like a NT would - but because these things are always happening to me, I start thinking, ''hang on a minute''. It drives me insane when the same things are always happening to me. Unless these things do always happen to them all the time but they haven't captured the pattern and so aren't thinking about it. But I've never seen these things happen to others on a regular basis.