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do you hate it when people tell you to be happy?

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Sweetleaf
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21 Nov 2011, 11:49 pm

archraphael wrote:
No. I think one of the best advice people have ever given me is to smile. I think it's pretty bad socially to walk around looking sad or angry when you're not especially people with AS tend to scare some people with the flat affect..

I just ignore the people who want to call names like psychopath, split personality, no identity etc... I've heard it all... Gotta push through the filth. Push through the filth with a smile. Got to remember that the negativity these people are projecting onto yourself is just a projection of their insecurities.

I would say.. for people with AS... What works best with me is to walk around with a funny or cute idea in my head something that would make me laugh or grin.


Well as a rule I don't nessisarly want fake people approaching me......if someone is going to decide I am someone they should avoid because I don't have a big smile plastered to my face then I would prefer they avoid me anyways. But that's just me.....obviously in general smiling makes one look more friendly so if that's your goal its a good thing to work on I guess.


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22 Nov 2011, 10:23 am

ViewUpHere wrote:
"The cure for depression is to just cheer up, darn it!"

Har har... I actually had a therapist tell me that. I came in depressed out of my mind, and that was their advice: cheer up. I didn't laugh. What scared me was, neither did they. They were serious.

I don't really have people tell me to cheer up or be happy. But people do ask me what's on my mind if I'm looking out of sorts. From a therapeutic standpoint the latter is a much better approach. These days if someone told me to be happy, I'd tell them to grow an extra arm.


This must take top prize for the stupidest thing a therapist ever said! :)



b9
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22 Nov 2011, 10:34 am

Quote:
do you hate it when people tell you to be happy?


no i do not hate it because people never tell me to be happy.

people do not know what to say to me that will engage my attention.


if i am happy then whatever.



jackbus01
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22 Nov 2011, 10:34 am

Verinda wrote:
ok, I feel I should defend myself here.
Telling my son to cheer up used to work when he was younger, but not when he reached his teenage years so, as I said, I don't say it to him anymore.
I agree it is annoying and insulting for older kids and adults but not so much for younger kids.


Really, I thought it would be annoying at any age. I can't believe younger kids wouldn't think so. Being excessively cheerful can actually be very annoying. :) :) :)



Nick88
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03 Dec 2011, 10:29 am

Yes , especially when it comes from people that i know who don't suffer from periods of low mood. I have been told to cheer up at times and found that hard to do , but it is annoying when you know that it is coming from people who think you can just be good all the time.



janettejin
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06 Dec 2011, 1:21 am

Not hate actually maybe a little bit annoying, though it comes on case to case basis. If you look at it on the brighter side they just wanted you to smile because they trying to ease or lessen the pain that you’re going through. They maybe trying to make you feel lighter and relax for awhile. On the other hand, if the person is asking you to do such just to please someone then that is the time it really irritates me.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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06 Dec 2011, 2:46 am

Just yesterday I had two family members on my FB hounding me for not smiling in my photos. :-\


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MikeH106
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06 Dec 2011, 7:06 am

That's one of the most rampant fallacies in our culture: that someone can just "choose" to be happy if they want to be.

What it basically means is that someone can torture you like a sick animal and it's okay because you can "choose" to be happy anyway. A real sadist's view of life. Which is unfortunate, because looking online you realize that there are a lot more sadists than you think. Our entire culture is swarming with sadists.

A parallel can be drawn to the tenets of Christianity. One can allegedly "choose" to be happy by following Christian teachings in order to go to Heaven instead of Hell. This applies whether you are an abducted child, a war prisoner, or even just a heartbroken loner taunted by the twisted masses.

You can always "go to Heaven" -- or so they believe. You have to search far and wide for someone with true compassion.


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b9
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06 Dec 2011, 11:19 am

MikeH106 wrote:
You can always "go to Heaven" -- or so they believe. You have to search far and wide for someone with true compassion.

i never did anything wrong. i do not deserve to be punished for how i am. i do not need to find someone better than me to endorse what i feel. if you are innocent of malice, then how can you be "punished" with a hard life?

it is just luck. if you are liked by other "valuable people", then you will be accepted widely, and if you are not you will be rejected.

but no matter what opinions people have, the universe unfolds as it should be.

my place in the this universe is not governed by what others think i am worth.



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09 Dec 2011, 4:17 am

My thoughts exactly. Sometimes when I'm concentrating or pondering about something, my brows will furrow and I come off as an intimidating person with my cold stare. Other times though, I am genuinely unhappy about certain things but I don't want others to know about it, so telling me to be happy is pretty redundant.



teh1jonnyj
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12 Dec 2011, 4:08 pm

For some people being happy isn't so black and white, my happy brings others little happiness, and so for other people I just keep myself at a content level, though I really don't know why. In my opinion why should you be anything someone asks you to be, it will only hurt you in the end by being something you're not. It's a drain on the conscience, at least to me, and I'll never for the life of me figure out why so many people think "happiness" is a cure for the troubles they press on our world.



CockneyRebel
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13 Dec 2011, 1:12 am

I hate it when people tell me to cheer up. It makes me feel worse. I also don't like being told to do so, if I'm already happy. I am happy. My face just doesn't show it.


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namaste
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13 Dec 2011, 8:09 am

Oh god! sounds so familiar i hate it



DW
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27 Dec 2011, 4:47 am

Short answer: Yes.



Telekon
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29 Dec 2011, 1:50 am

If someone says this to you, ask them if they can remember a time in their life when they were happy because someone told them to be.



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29 Dec 2011, 1:59 am

Be happy. ;)