Why the R word hurts...

Post Reply New Topic

When neurotypicals say that autistics are slow and ret*d I think it is because neurotypicals have only a superficial understanding. With such a superficial understanding a neurotypical can perform many tasks without even thinking about it.

my brother calls me that every day

This hyperindividualist Ayn Rand type (I guess based on his reprehensible comments) called me a ret*d yesterday (he had just called a woman 'subhuman') so it's nice to see someone say that such a word ignores individuality.

i have learning disabilities. i herd that a lot. people cant seem to understand that you can be quite intelligent and have learning disabilities or any disability for that mater. what i don't understand is that anti "that's gay " campaign was happening when i was in high school and people stopped saying "that's gay" and started saying "that's LD" and no one seemed to care. teachers let it slide.

I am sensitive to those whom are hurt by the "R" word. But in fact, this is EXACTLY how I categorized myself my entire life until recent diagnosis. I knew I wasn't ret*d, but I had no other concrete explanation to explain so much inconsistency with my performance or abilities to learn and retain information. No one in my life was more frustrated with what seemed to be so much potential, yet such inconsistence or reliability. I have managed to have a good career, my efforts to learn and be a team player have overshadowed my weaknesses according to supervisors, directors and colleagues. Never made me feel any better about my stupidity.

Now that I'm diagnosed with inattentive ADD, I have refered to myself in the "R" word much less. But because employers are not always very sympathetic or accepting of ADD in relation to accomodations, I have yet to reveal this. I have been cautioned against it even by my diagnosing therapist and many in the internet ADHD community.

I don't call other people that. But I am starting to accept the term, as it applies to me. I don't have a low IQ, but because of my ASD my emotional intelligence is low - I have a developmental disability, it's just in a different area than the one IQ tests measure.
And maybe that's ok... know what I mean? Maybe it's not something to be terrified of, after all. IQ tests only measure one type of intelligence, and it can't be that important, considering how often it doesn't lead to success. People with a low IQ just don't match what that particular test measures.
Calling someone stupid means discounting all of the abilities and knowledge they may have, simply because you realize there are some they don't have. No one is good at everything.

As someone with a sister who has an intellectual disability, I am able to see first-hand the effects of the R-word. She has been called this by people who have bullied her all her life, and now can only see the word and the concept of her having this disability in a negative light.

People have told me that this is a clinical term, but they need to see the more common, derogatory, insulting usage of the term and the effects on the people themselves when they hear it. My sister will feel ashamed of herself at times when she's reminded of her limitations even in situations when people are trying to help her with things, and she'll say "I'm not a r---d!" These people are still human, and still have feelings. The R-word brings nothing but shame and mockery to people who can't help who they are, and are just trying to live their lives positively, just like everyone else.

I don't understand why people are so ignorant about this. There's autism awareness...but what about intellectual disability awareness!?

People tell me that it is okay that I am called a ret*d because it is true.

I think the word can be used in different ways, and it's meaning depends on the context.

Let's call them mongoloids instead.

But I like ret*d Master.....