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equestriatola
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04 Aug 2013, 8:01 pm

mikassyna wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
I want to say as well because of my PTSD, partly, at least, I have wanted to somehow get my hands on a gun.


I don't think getting a gun is a good idea until you work out your anger issues. I do believe that once you go out and find yourself a job you are happy with and can keep, that gives you a sense of pride and self-sufficiency, you won't feel as angry and stuck as you do now.

By the way, congratulations on graduating college! I never went to college (as a matriculated student) and I have regrets about not doing so. But that should give you a sense of accomplishment! Do you have any friends? Having a supportive network can also sometimes help you feel less angry and alone. But it may be a catch-22. There may be people who may sense your hostility and may not feel comfortable with someone with rage issues, so please see if you can get some good counseling for that, and good friendships will follow. Even maybe some prescription medications in the interim if you are having homicidal thoughts. Meds can be a good short-term solution while you sort out your anger and learn more positive coping skills. Good luck!! !


I do have plenty of friends out here and IRL. :)


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shadow_light
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05 Aug 2013, 3:10 am

I have PTSD, though it is far far better now. I had a lot of therapy though to get to where it is now, and was on medication for a long time to reduce the flashbacks and nightmares. I think a combination of support, time and therapy may be the only way to actually "recover" from PTSD, but I have heard of people managing to do so without such a combination so who knows... I think time is a vital one though, retraining the brain takes a lot of it



equestriatola
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05 Aug 2013, 6:37 pm

shadow_light wrote:
I have PTSD, though it is far far better now. I had a lot of therapy though to get to where it is now, and was on medication for a long time to reduce the flashbacks and nightmares. I think a combination of support, time and therapy may be the only way to actually "recover" from PTSD, but I have heard of people managing to do so without such a combination so who knows... I think time is a vital one though, retraining the brain takes a lot of it


What kind of medication?


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06 Aug 2013, 1:54 am

I was on sertraline. There are a few meds out there though that can be used, most are technically anti-depressents but they can be used for anxiety and other PTSD symptoms



equestriatola
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07 Aug 2013, 10:28 pm

I will see my psychiatrist about that in the near-future about that......... does anybody have other advice for what I went through?


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mikassyna
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08 Aug 2013, 10:00 am

equestriatola wrote:
I will see my psychiatrist about that in the near-future about that......... does anybody have other advice for what I went through?


Just keep telling yourself that whatever happened to you was NOT your fault. Also, that your anger is a result of what you went through. And that you are not destined to repeat the mistakes of your parents if you recognize the behavior as wrong and can work on better coping skills for dealing with your anger. Tell yourself that you too will mellow out with age--you just have to make sure you can get yourself to old age without hurting anyone from your anger, but it is all within YOUR control. And you don't have to act out in anger to prove you are the one in control. :-)



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08 Aug 2013, 1:03 pm

equestriatola wrote:
So, it has come to my attention that I have PTSD. Why?

My parents viciously would punch me in the face if I did something wrong, which was often, and one time, I was beaten viciously with a baseball bat, to the point where my right jaw was broken.

How can I overcome this? What can I do to help myself?


Ever hear of the twelve steps?

I've got a shortened version.

1. Own it.
2. Express it.
3. Identify it.
4. Feel it.
5. Surrender it.
6. Forgive it.
7. Accept it.

You will never completely overcome PTSD; however, you can get through life with a lot less baggage and depression. The worst part is feeling stuck. Like someone drops you in a pit with crocodiles. Those crocodiles are resentments, angers, fears, false guilt, anxiety, unforgiveness, rage, and the survival skills we learn that will eventually hurt others because they are not appropriate to every situation, just with our abusers.

We feed those crocodiles over time and they keep getting bigger and stronger. If we don't do something to deal with them we never get out of the pit.



equestriatola
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09 Aug 2013, 11:02 pm

^ See, that is what is happening to me; the bad memories come back to me.


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10 Aug 2013, 12:23 am

It's not easy. I had to pray for a lot of courage to deal with all of the abuse I went through. For the most part, I've dealt with it all but every once in a while something will trigger something that I haven't completely dealt with yet.

One thing I do know, just remembering it and talking about it doesn't completely heal it.

If you get a good book on the grieving process, that will help you quite a bit.

When you are abused, you lose a lot.

1. the ability to trust those who you should be able to trust.
2. your innocence. prior to abuse, it was easy to believe everybody was good. that changed.
3. our childhoods. when we are abused, it takes away a part of the children we are and forces us to protect ourselves, somehow, someway.
4. for some of us, our trust that God loves us.
5. it disrupts our growing up process by forcing us to deal with something no one should have to deal with.
6. victims almost always struggle with false guilt and sometimes shame.
7. it skews how we interact with others for the rest of our lives.

The list goes on and on. Each person is affected differently. But if you are willing to work on yourself like it was a puzzle or problem and just keep tackling it, you will get through it.


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Ettina
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10 Aug 2013, 10:39 am

Quote:
6. Forgive it.


I would just like to point out that healthy forgiveness of abuse doesn't mean giving them another opportunity to hurt you. You can forgive your abusers and still cut contact with them. It simply means to let go of resentment towards that person, and stop trying to punish them (real or symbolically) for what they did. For example, my uncle abused my Dad (his little brother) until my Dad finally cut contact with him. My Dad, for a long time, had recurring dreams about brutally murdering his older brother. Forgiveness, for him, would not mean resuming contact - it would mean no longer having revenge dreams.



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10 Aug 2013, 11:04 am

Ettina wrote:
Quote:
6. Forgive it.


I would just like to point out that healthy forgiveness of abuse doesn't mean giving them another opportunity to hurt you. You can forgive your abusers and still cut contact with them. It simply means to let go of resentment towards that person, and stop trying to punish them (real or symbolically) for what they did. For example, my uncle abused my Dad (his little brother) until my Dad finally cut contact with him. My Dad, for a long time, had recurring dreams about brutally murdering his older brother. Forgiveness, for him, would not mean resuming contact - it would mean no longer having revenge dreams.


Good point.

When I asked God how I could forgive what was done to me by my birth father all that came back was a repeat of part of the Lord's Prayer.

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

And it finally became clear, it wasn't some process, it was simply a choice. I chose to be obedient. So I told God I didn't know how to go about doing it but I choose to forgive.

Suddenly, the weight was just lifted off. It did feel like a literal weight!

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgetting that someone who is abusive is dangerous.


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SinewStew
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10 Aug 2013, 12:58 pm

I think that it's rather common for individuals with Asperger's to become the victims of crime during their lifetimes, especially childhood. I was the victim of abuse and sexual assault. I realize it may sound flippant but along with therapy I use Cannabis Indica daily and it works. My philosophy is, I follow logic not the law. I reduce the potential harm I am to myself by using a medicine that is against the law. Laws often have no logic.



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11 Aug 2013, 7:13 am

Is PTSD the medical name for shell shock? because if it is then that's what I get every time I've been socialising.


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Raziel
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11 Aug 2013, 8:13 am

babybird wrote:
Is PTSD the medical name for shell shock? because if it is then that's what I get every time I've been socialising.


Well shell shock is a form of the trauma spectrum, but not everyone who has a trauma will develope PTSD.

I, in my case, have some PTSD symptoms, but my issue is better described as anxiety disorder with traumatic elements.
The trauma spectrum is very complex and we just have a fiew lables for it. Well, that's how it works, for everyone the same lable if you will...! ;)


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Ettina
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11 Aug 2013, 10:57 am

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Is PTSD the medical name for shell shock? because if it is then that's what I get every time I've been socialising.


You do not get shell shock from socializing. Shell shock is a severe condition that doctors noticed among army veterans:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP2ravKtcY8

It would now be considered severe PTSD with dissociative features.

My guess is you get overloaded or anxious when interacting. Which is a far cry from shell shock.



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11 Aug 2013, 11:44 am

Ettina wrote:
Quote:
Is PTSD the medical name for shell shock? because if it is then that's what I get every time I've been socialising.


You do not get shell shock from socializing. Shell shock is a severe condition that doctors noticed among army veterans:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP2ravKtcY8

It would now be considered severe PTSD with dissociative features.

My guess is you get overloaded or anxious when interacting. Which is a far cry from shell shock.


You are correct, you don't get shell shock from socializing; however, IF you already have severe PTSD, sometimes socializing will trigger it.

I've walked away from people literally shaking so bad I couldn't even drive.


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