Sherry221B wrote:
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I am not sure I agree that no one genuinely cares about other humans though I am quite convinced there are lots who don't. Also, if one has no outlet and has just keep it all to them self, wouldn't that lead to more suicidal feelings? I suppose that is why there is Hersey and certain internet forums... I just know any time. I try totally keep it to myself it makes it worse, I assume other people experience that to. It certainly isn't a good idea to be too open about it, though, I personally don't talk about how depressed I feel around mos people.
It was just an example. While, I've learned most of the things that I know by myself, one of the few things that I was taught is that no one cares about anybody, and that no one helps anybody-That no one will care.... Besides, it's just not that I've been told so; experience with people has shown me that too. So, it's just something that I accepted long time ago....I did not choose to keep everything to myself, but that's how it is.....Anyhow, I did learn that even if you try to tell something, people just won't care.....
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Hi guys, While I don't know any of you personally, I do come back to this forum time and time and time again, even thought here is the whole of he Internet to look at. The reason for that is that I find you (all) say something to be something worth saying; to be reasonable and rational and often uncluttered by the selfish emotional confusion of the rest of the world. I for one would definitely miss you if you are gone. [\quote] Frankly, if I was "gone", I don't think anybody would notice. Anyway, it's hard, but there's no other option than to have patience......
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I don't know if there's any benefit to talking about the the bad stuff, maybe expressing how you feel makes you less likely to kill yourself, but it probably makes the person you're talking to more likely to kill themselves, that's been my experience anyway. [\quote] It doesn't matter if it's "bad stuff" , "neutral stuff", or "good stuff". No one could care less about what I think, and all that- I've been told this too so many times that I've lost the count-. And, you know, it's true. So, why to bother trying to tell to someone something if no one will care?
Actually Sherry, I have to agree with you to a point, finding from my own personal experiences with depression that people can initially appear supportive, but in dealing with your issues on a consistent basis, appear to become gradually less and less comfortable around you. They eventually shy away or almost blink twice or go silent if a specific depression related topic comes up. But does this mean they don't care? On reflection, i think that the main issue that many of us don't look at and can't look at when depressed as you've mentioned is the effect that depression has on our rapport with others. Depression really is so destructive in this way. I think that whilst we can all provide someone with a pat on the shoulder and a warm drink to assist them when they're feeling blue, i've found that if they do this even a couple of times, their demeanour towards you can change. They worry about your sensitivity, so they cease to joke casually around you, everything becoming very awkward very quickly. I don't know exactly why people react in this way. I think ultimately they only have so much to give before their programming tells them to protect themselves, like a defence mechanism. As a result of course, the depressed person will feel like that person doesn't care and didn't even care in the first place.
The only friend I'VE found can put up with several months of depressed conversation is in fact an Aspie. It seems he is not only capable of listening for ages and making cups of tea, but will spend several weeks studying psych journals and forums, combing through blogs etc, to provide logical insights as to what might be going on. Providing tips, exercises and techniques to help.
Keep in mind, the whole world has a range of issues, perhaps a lot more would care if they could. Perhaps I cannot care specifically about the YOU at the keyboard because i have not met you. However i can care about the feelings your words of anger incite within me. The way in which i care then, is about you by proxy. I care about your words and the image of someone who has core beliefs that nobody cares about them. Your belief then goes against my core belief, because i believe i can care about the beliefs of complete strangers, so i challenge your post and by doing so prove my own point.
Long story short, i think that people do care, but they just aren't very good at it. I think you're seeing limitations in peoples ability to truly see the problem on a deeper level and following this, an unwillingness to provide the committed support often needed by depressed people. This unwillingness however i believe is borne from fear, not laziness.
08 Feb 2014, 1:37 am
