Possible avoidance personality disorder?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi, Im diagnosed Bi polar and anxiety disorder, but I feel like there's something more happening.
I get along with my work mates pretty well. I pass people in the street, they smile and say hello. People wave to me often. I really don't think they are the issue.
Apart from the normal bi polar cycles I go though, I have this feeling that I'm unwanted socially.

I crave and long for close friendships. Yet when the opportunity arises to be around others where that may happen, I feel like a total social and emotional disconnect.
Its like I'd rather them just go away.
Its a puzzle to me, I like solitude, but I crave close personal relationships.
I want close personal friendships, yet I feel I cant or don't want to develop them.
I sort of feel unwelcome, like people don't trust me, and/or I don't trust them. Its like I can see the through the masks people put on when interacting with me.
I've been with my partner for 20 years, have two awesome kids and don't feel this way with them. It's just others socially. I've become basically 'friend-less' because of this.

I've described my symptoms on many online polls and questionnaires, and more often than not they say there's a high chance I may have possible Avoidance personality disorder.
I've mentioned this to the two mental health professionals I have been seeing over the last few years, but as far as I understand APD isn't recognised in Australia and they basically dismissed the notion.

Does anyone else have this problem/feeling?

Any advice comments are appreciated.

Yes. Same, except I can't maintain long term relationships. A psychologist I saw (I'm in U.S.) recognized it almost immediately.
I have a much smoother less troublesome time with brief interaction only, as I have a few scripts that work.
I am happiest when working (artist) but also wish I had a friend IRL.

Yes its similar for me. Shorter brief interactions Im ok with. But if I have to be around people for longer periods in an 'unstructured' environment (a social context) I get that feeling.

I hiked the Milford sound track in New Zealand recently. I was with a group of 31 people. I basically walked it alone (a few others did the same) and I really enjoyed it.
The day time hiking part was fine, because it was basically a structured social setting.
But when we stopped for lunch and during the evenings, it became unstructured and I felt those same feelings. As I walked on each day I longed to develop friendships with some of those people in the group,
they seemed like nice friendly people. But during those times where I had the chance to be social, I felt that disconnection.
I sort of feel like something inside me that others have socially and emotionally, isn't there in me.

Yeah pretty much describes my social interaction too. On a bad day, I have trust issues, and just assume everyone else is out to get what they can, and would sell me down the river if they could gain from it.
I also struggle with small talk, not being interested in what other people have to say, assuming they aren't interested in what I have to say and so-on.
It doesn't help I have very narrow interests (being English, Male, and not liking football puts me in a minority straight away ).

Thing is I've learned to be comfortable with the silences and with my own company. I don't put the pressure on myself to interact. I have basically only one actual friend, but I'm happy with that.

At work, where I have most of my social interaction, people have gotten to know me as being a bit antisocial (I make a big joke about it) and they're used to me now and mainly leave me alone and get on with it between themselves, which I'm comfortable with.