Munchausen by Proxy Parents

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I was looking up information on Munchausen by Proxy and came across the worst of the worst where parents seek physical diagnosis and multiple surgeries for their kids with the mother typically making the child sick.

In my case though I was wondering if my mom was going there with me as a child, except using the psychiatrists.

She was convinced I was schizophrenic and told me that I was. I was only a kid. She asked me if I heard voices, I didn't know what she meant but I was so honest that I thought about my own inner voice and thought that is what she meant so I said yes. Then years later, she decided I was crying because I was schizophrenic when really it's because I went through a traumatic childhood surrounded by people I couldn't trust. I told her that I heard music in my head (I make music). She insisted that was not normal and it's my schizophrenia. Then she takes me to a mental hospital when I'm in my preteens and tells them she thinks I am schizophrenic. At this time, I didn't know what schizophrenia was but she told me most things I did that she declared was abnormal was shizophrenic. So I didn't know any better.

They diagnosed me with schizophrenia. Put me on meds but I decided to spit them out. I knew there was something going on that wasn't right but I felt helpless.

Second time she takes me because I'm having a meltdown. This time they declare I'm in the early phases of bi-polar.

One night, I'm crying once again because I'm really thinking about how alone I feel and I grew up in a sad environment with abuse. Instead of trying to understand why I'm crying, my mother grabs her keys and was going to send me to a psychiatric ward to get me admitted into the hospital until someone else stopped her.

Then she sends me to another psychiatrist because I made my first bad grade on my report card. The psychiatrist told her to stop sending me. After that she got upset and said "Well I'm not sending you here again!!"

I can't help but to feel humiliated by this experience and I wonder ...is this what people who have munchausen by proxy do or is it something else?

Your profile says that you are 34 years old.

Do you still live with your mother? If so, can you move out?

From your description (which is all we have), she seems toxic.

To answer your question, the best I can say is that once some people have decided that there is something wrong with "you" (the generic "you", by the way), there is little to nothing that can be said or done to change their minds.

Your best option may be to get as far away from your mother as you possibly can.

Your mother also sounds like she was a narcissist. They will also make up their kids conditions and say you are doing this because you are that. They do that to their victims in relationships and some narcissist parents lie about their children and make stuff up about them saying how disturbed they are or how sick they are and will pathologize them and lie to other people about their child. But there are overlaps between Munchhausen by Proxy and narcissism because those two are very familiar when it comes to making up stories and getting their kids labeled and lying to you and everyone else about your "problem." But Munchahusen parents do it for attention and sympathy while narcissists do it for control.

I have read some victim stories online about them being abused and then they got to a point there they started to retaliate by doing abuse back (being the violent child in their home) and then their mother took them to a psychiatrist telling them how out of control they are and the mother is sobbing saying to the doctor she doesn't know what to do and tells him what a pathological liar their kid is. Then the kid can't even defend themselves and say anything to them about their abuse because their mother has already convinced the doctor and manipulated him. Some of them have also ended up with bogus labels.

But your story sounds very familiar to stories I have read online by narcissist victims. You get a bad grade, oh to the doctor because something is wrong with you. That kind of crap the narcissist parent pulled because their kid didn't meet up to their high standard.

I'm moved out. I found out recently that I have complex PTSD and years ago diagnosed with aspergers. I feel like most of my healing came when I moved far away except for the fact that I talk to her on the phone and sometimes she will say certain things or treat me in a way that sends me back into a nightmare and I start having flashbacks and get really depressed. It's hard but after noticing how far I've come with the healing process when I am away from her, I often feel to blame when something she says or decides to make an event all about her when tragedy strikes yet coming across as innocent while doing it sends me back into a downward spiral.

So why do I feel guilty and almost as if I am doing something wrong if I do think about not talking to her at all?

You may as well be describing my late father, except for one specific detail. Once he got it into his head that I was a sneak-thief and a liar, that's how he treated me. Never mind that it was my brothers that did all of the stealing, drug-dealing, school-skipping, and lying; to him, I was the one at fault for every one of his lost tools, missing change, and drop of "evaporated" liquor.

I moved out of his house at the age of 18, and put up with his long-distance meanness until he died in 2004.

Because she trained you that way. She trained you to think of her needs and never your own, and it'll take time and effort to undo that training.