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Lost_in_Fear
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 28 Jul 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 9
Location: US

09 Aug 2016, 3:09 pm

So a few months ago I had a "physchotic break" and was admitted to inpatient against my will. Anyways I wanted to talk about that experience a little bit, now that I'm out with a schizoaffective diagnosis.

The disillusions and hallucinations I was having at the time were seemed so real and made so much sense at the time that it's hard letting go of some of them. My reality was shattered my biggest fears came to life and I was having some very strange paranormal phenomena. I was even communicating with some of the hospital staff that were "in the know" and knew exactly what was going on with me and would tell me that everything is ok and this is really the reality behind the curtains....but they were telling me telepathically so it wouldn't alert any of the other staff.

I was in control of my environment by controlling my thoughts. I had even made time come to a complete stop at one point. At first I thought I was dying along with everything and everyone else on this planet, until I realized I could control my fear and that all the pain and fear were just intrusive thoughts being transmitted to me rather then actual emotions or feelings. I had somewhat of a "god complex" because of this and was using my thoughts to control peoples thoughts and actions. I was seeing what I was capable of and I was completely exhilarated to come to realize all of this.

All electronics were acting so strange around me like tv's turning on or off when I was near by, radio's playing the song I wanted to hear at that exact moment. I felt like I had finally decoded the illusion of reality and it was nice feeling in control for once even though it was pretty exhausting after a few days.

I still can't just brush off all of what I had experienced as simply "delusional hallucinations " Weirdest part was my girl friend said I was saying things that only she should have known about her cousin who recently passed away at a young age, things she never told anyone were coming into my head and out my mouth for some reason....then to top it off I get to the psych ward and the first person I see.....My upstairs neighbor, he also had a breakdown and was experiencing a lot of the same things that I had....



x1234
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 May 2016
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 5

22 Aug 2016, 3:41 am

You need to relax and know everything is going to be OK.