Not sure what this is

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Hi, first off, I'm new here.

I have a problem that has been slowly taking over my life for a few years now, and it's only getting worse. I väntan really describe it in my own words, but I found a quote from someone on reddit who seems to have the same problem:

"the more I think about it, the less I can understand that anyone but me can be real, or be as 'aware' as me - if that makes sense."

Now I know that I have been able to understand that a long time ago, but it's like I've lost that ability. Now I find myself questioning everything I do- why do I do things? Why don't I just act crazy? Do I really care about anyone? Why don't I just stop washing, or going outside, or just go to bed and starve to death? Everything seems pointless... I literally mean this, as I write this I'm wondering why, because I cant imagine that it will be read by another person

I can relate to this. It sounds like you believe that everything is meaningless. In the grand scheme of things (the universe as a whole), i agree, we are insignificant. But down here on Earth, we are significant. Our actions can be influential here on Earth (or even other parts of the solar system, or even outside of the solar system in the near future). As for wether other people are real or not: we can never know for sure. But obviously, just assume that everyone is real. I think it is good that you're questioning everything you do, it will lead to a better understanding of yourself and the world around you. As for why it is good for you to continue washing, going outside, living; you can be significant here on Earth. You can make a difference to other people, the world, and learn about the universe. That makes life worth living, in my opinion.

See, that's the problem. The more I try to understand why I do things or how I think about other people, the more it feels like I don't believe in any of it at all

The more it feels like you don't believe in the existence of things other than your own mind?

Exactly... And it just gets worse, I keep losing more and more

Maybe your experiencing derealization.

I am talkig to a psychiatria, but Im not sure if they understand what I mean.

I've read about people with aspergers having similar thoughts, but for them it has always been like this. I remember that a few years ago I had no problem just knowing that people have experiences like me

You have rediscovered the philosophical concept of solipsism. Wikipedia could be a good starting point about it.

Solipsism obsessed me when I was 14, but I figured out it was epistemically indistinguishable from realism, so I may as well act as if things were real, which I was already doing.

It's one thing to obsess over something, but something completely different to actually believe it. Right now, I walk around talking to people, but inside I'm constantly thinking "what the f**k are they? What do I think they are? What did I think before? Why do I talk to them? Why do they talk to me?" Etc etc etc

Is there a name for this? When you notice that your worldwide is changing, sometimes getting worse from one day to another.