Say Something Random: psychological Conditions Version

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Does it keep you awake

For a while, yes.

I wonder if my relationship with chocolate is a reflection of something psychological

I get to trick mine out.

First is your typical human all-time favorite taste preferences. Yes, I like chocolate in a basic sense.
Second is this addiction tendency that seem to run in my family. Yes, I crave plenty of it for comforting reasons enough to actually do so on a daily basis.

And third is definitely the dysregulation issue coupled with unprocessed emotions that those with the only first two issues do not understand since just taking some chocolate more than average just works fine with them, yet it doesn't seem enough for me to a point that I can consume several bars a day and will easily break my entire savings for this unfulfilled crap. Which happens to me, but not with others.
Yes, I can consume that much even if a part of me knows enough is enough and is sick enough to not do it all because of this stupid subtle feeling that do not go away.

I absolutely love chocolate and if there's any in the house then I won't be able to rest until it's gone. It's just on my mind all the time but then when it's gone I don't even crave it. Even if I go in a shop I'm not even tempted to buy it and even if someone offers me some I can easily refuse it.

Its just mad. It's like I love it while it's there but once it's gone I can easily live without it.

I'm kind of similar with people. I love them while they're here but if they're not then I don't really miss them.

Does that mean I'm shallow

I mean that's not to say that my value for human life is the same as it is for a bar of chocolate

^

I think that chocolate can be an aid to help relieve negative feelings. For some people with mood issues such as depression, the dopamine hit from eating chocolate can provide a temporary relief from negative feelings.

I love drinking a hot cup of tea and then when my mouths all hot I like to pop a piece of chocolate in and let it melt on my tongue.

It's absolutely sensational

And you're right it does do some kind of magic to my mood as well

Quite sure it maybe an issue for me ..! For dealing with some humans..the chocolate wins out everytime .!
But recently actually had a Doctor reccomend a small bar of chocolate." periodically" for emotionally stressful
thoughts and afterwards for stressful or ptsd stuff.
Guess , he is the only Doctor I like

I feel like I need to throw up so I can get the bad stuff out of me

I think "psychopath" is a derogatory word

Try being a musician. Most of us can conceptualize what they want their performance to sound like. While I don’t play clarinet any more (although I just spent almost 2k for a 1990’s era Buffet R-13 (I’ve been playing Buffet Instruments since high school), I gave it up shortly after dad died. Now that Uncle sh*t, er Sugar says I’m officially retired, it’s time to get back to my other love. Now if I can get the $500.00 to purchase a custom Borbeck mouthpiece (similar to the Borbeck mouthpiece my clarinet professor sold to me when I was working on my teacher’s certification in music over 40 years ago, I don’t give a damn about what the orthopedist said about me ever playing again. The physical therapist I talked to at the senior center I attend gave me a sheet of exercises to strengthen my wrists.

Does it mean I’m abandoning my reputation as a vocalist? Hell, no! Come Holy Week, my church will be hearing me twice: Palm Sunday, they’ll be hearing Merbick (who wrote under the pseudonym of Adams) The Holy City), and Maundy Thursday, they’ll hear Gounod’s Repentir (aka O Divine Redeemer). I’ll definitely be drained after performing both pieces, since I try putting as much drama into both pieces, especially, Repentir, since Gounod wrote for the Opera Stage, before becoming a monk.


Anyhow, it’s why I ended up on antipsychotics and antidepressants in the first place. I ended up seeing a psychiatrist, shortly before my mother passed away, mentioned I was hearing music in my head, and nearly killed off my true love, other than the Holy Trinity. Despite my fathers attempts to gaslight me, as well as make me out to be a scapegoat, I’m finally somewhat happy, (and yes, I still have issues with loneliness and sexuality) at the age of 66.

I did talk to a member of the congregation where I attend church services, when he commented how good my voice sounds, despite my age. He asked how long I can keep this up. I simply told him if I ever stop singing, that’s the day I drop dead.

It helps me a little, too.

I wonder why alcohol makes some people mean(er). When I overindulge, which isn’t very often, I just get silly and tired.

alky haul sure my my late father mean as a wet hen.

Loss of inhibition.
Their restraints over being mean, judgement and irritated instead of, well, 'constrained expressions sociality'.

Obviously, different social priorities.
Different masks, different denied expressions.


Myself -- I cannot decide.
I wish I'm all time wholesome and chill or all time aloof and severe.

I swing in two extremes, and both sides fighting gives me headaches.
It makes me unable to build from something, leave me constantly confused, not knowing what to expect with myself of all people, and I don't like it.


I cannot wait to see what happens if I try birth control pills... See if it will even me out or not.

Because a good portion of head issues I have does not come from my head -- more like "it" influences my head, which makes it difficult to deal something directly with my head.