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babybird
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15 Feb 2022, 3:10 pm

She said she's not qualified to treat me.

I think I freaked her out. I didn't mean to.

I have cptsd with possible psychosis and dissociation and it's so complicated.

She phoned me this morning to say that she's put me back on the list for treatment and that she can't treat me.

Is this normal for therapists to do or what. I already waited two years because of the pandemic and wotnot.


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theprisoner
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15 Feb 2022, 3:28 pm

What did you do to her.


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cyberdad
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15 Feb 2022, 4:00 pm

My daugther's psychologist and OT basically gave up on her when she was in primary school over her auditory misophonia as well.

The psychologist honestly had no idea what she was doing. The OT simply did not re-book.



babybird
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15 Feb 2022, 4:09 pm

Yeah I think she was out of her depth. I don't understand this though. I thought trauma therapists were supposed to be well qualified to deal with trauma.

I've kept my trauma in all my life and tried to not tell people because I get that it's complicated but it started to cause serious problems in my life and so I went for help.

I don't really know how I thought anyone could help me but they reckon emdr. I still didn't have much faith in this but I'm going along with it anyway because I might as well and then it turns out that the therapist can't help me anyway after all that.

I mean am I supposed to sugarcoat my trauma to make it easier for them to be able to listen to.

I feel like I'm running round in circles and getting nowhere.

What does OT stand for?


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FleaOfTheChill
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15 Feb 2022, 4:58 pm

I'm not sure about the UK, but where I am (the states), yeah, it is normal for therapists to do that. From my own experience, there are trauma therapists and then there's trauma therapists. I know I got passed around a little bit while trying to find one who was able to deal with me and my issues. Some were just not qualified to deal with my type of trauma and the issues that came with it. I was a mess back them with flashbacks, body memories, and I was dx'd with a dissociative disorder. Where I am, there are a lot of therapists who treat trauma, but most have no clue what to do if you space out, turn into a kid, or go back in time in front of them. I was a whole different kind of critter. *shrugs*

I totally freaked out a therapist once too. She was new, and then there was me sitting in her office. I felt bad for her after the fact. I was annoyed at first, but she had no clue what she was in for, and I had no clue that being myself would scare the crap out of her. Yeah, I totally get that.

And no, you aren't supposed to sugar coat it. I know it seems crappy right now, but it's probably for the best she bailed when you were honest. You didn't waste time with her, gently building a rapport and so on, only to find out a few months down the road that she couldn't hang.

I'm sorry you got placed with someone who wasn't qualified. That sucks, to say the least. I know how discouraging that can be. I really am sorry that happened to you. But if you are in a place where you're willing to deal with trauma head on, I whole heartedly encourage you to keep trying, keep looking for someone who knows what they're doing. From my own perspective, the trauma work was hard as hell. Maybe the hardest stuff I've ever done in my life. But damn was it worth it. My life is soooo much better now. It's like a completely different reality. So worth the work. My two cents.



cyberdad
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15 Feb 2022, 5:45 pm

babybird wrote:
Yeah I think she was out of her depth. I don't understand this though. I thought trauma therapists were supposed to be well qualified to deal with trauma.


Just because a person has paper qualifications does not necessarily mean they are good at what they do. Rule of thumb, if you are not satisfied with the service provided then you (as a consumer) are entitled to get another referral. The problem is that there is no guarantee the next trauma therapist is going to be better but at least you are giving yourself a chance to find somebody else. Often look at online ratings/feedback on the therapist OR word of mouth from a GP.

We changed speech therapists on 4 occasions before finding one that worked well with our daughter.

babybird wrote:
What does OT stand for?


Occupational therapist - they are supposed to work directly on helping functioning in daily life. We lucked out here as well.



Dillogic
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16 Feb 2022, 3:00 am

It happens. She likely just didn't feel qualified or capable enough, which is a good thing IMO. Psychiatrists tend to be the best at traumatic stuff in my experience when it comes to advice, as they're doctors and have all seen things in EDs/ERs. They're the most expensive though. I'm not a fan of "therapists" or psychologists other than being people to speak of experiences to. I've never been a fan of their advice.

I had a good psychiatrist that I saw for a long time that went through some similar things as me too, though he's gone now. I stopped seeing them after him and just go to GPs, and my GP is better than any of the psychologists I've seen. She always looks at my arms for anything new (she tries to be sneaky about it). I have a psychiatrist in my family, but that'd be awkward, even though she'd know most things (she's around my age too).



babybird
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16 Feb 2022, 6:04 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I'm not sure about the UK, but where I am (the states), yeah, it is normal for therapists to do that. From my own experience, there are trauma therapists and then there's trauma therapists. I know I got passed around a little bit while trying to find one who was able to deal with me and my issues. Some were just not qualified to deal with my type of trauma and the issues that came with it. I was a mess back them with flashbacks, body memories, and I was dx'd with a dissociative disorder. Where I am, there are a lot of therapists who treat trauma, but most have no clue what to do if you space out, turn into a kid, or go back in time in front of them. I was a whole different kind of critter. *shrugs*

I totally freaked out a therapist once too. She was new, and then there was me sitting in her office. I felt bad for her after the fact. I was annoyed at first, but she had no clue what she was in for, and I had no clue that being myself would scare the crap out of her. Yeah, I totally get that.

And no, you aren't supposed to sugar coat it. I know it seems crappy right now, but it's probably for the best she bailed when you were honest. You didn't waste time with her, gently building a rapport and so on, only to find out a few months down the road that she couldn't hang.

I'm sorry you got placed with someone who wasn't qualified. That sucks, to say the least. I know how discouraging that can be. I really am sorry that happened to you. But if you are in a place where you're willing to deal with trauma head on, I whole heartedly encourage you to keep trying, keep looking for someone who knows what they're doing. From my own perspective, the trauma work was hard as hell. Maybe the hardest stuff I've ever done in my life. But damn was it worth it. My life is soooo much better now. It's like a completely different reality. So worth the work. My two cents.


That is really encouraging and thank you. I can relate to a lt of what you are saying there as well. I dissociate and my personality switches. Before I went into the session I kept asking myself which one am I going to be and it turned out that the one that fronted was the one I probably needed but not the one I wanted. I think it may have freaked her out.

Anyway thank you for your two cents worth it means a lot.


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babybird
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16 Feb 2022, 6:09 am

cyberdad wrote:
babybird wrote:
Yeah I think she was out of her depth. I don't understand this though. I thought trauma therapists were supposed to be well qualified to deal with trauma.


Just because a person has paper qualifications does not necessarily mean they are good at what they do. Rule of thumb, if you are not satisfied with the service provided then you (as a consumer) are entitled to get another referral. The problem is that there is no guarantee the next trauma therapist is going to be better but at least you are giving yourself a chance to find somebody else. Often look at online ratings/feedback on the therapist OR word of mouth from a GP.

We changed speech therapists on 4 occasions before finding one that worked well with our daughter.

babybird wrote:
What does OT stand for?


Occupational therapist - they are supposed to work directly on helping functioning in daily life. We lucked out here as well.


I guessed it was occupational therapist just as I clicked send. Thank you.

Yes it's nhs so sometimes you just get what you're given which is difficult. I'll see what I get next time and if I'm not happy then I'll just have to try again. I hate it when I got for therapy and I come out with my BP syk high and I'm bouncing off the walls with my adhd. This can't be healthy for me. That's what I was like when I came out of the session with her. It took me a full day and night to calm down.


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babybird
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16 Feb 2022, 6:14 am

Dillogic wrote:
It happens. She likely just didn't feel qualified or capable enough, which is a good thing IMO. Psychiatrists tend to be the best at traumatic stuff in my experience when it comes to advice, as they're doctors and have all seen things in EDs/ERs. They're the most expensive though. I'm not a fan of "therapists" or psychologists other than being people to speak of experiences to. I've never been a fan of their advice.

I had a good psychiatrist that I saw for a long time that went through some similar things as me too, though he's gone now. I stopped seeing them after him and just go to GPs, and my GP is better than any of the psychologists I've seen. She always looks at my arms for anything new (she tries to be sneaky about it). I have a psychiatrist in my family, but that'd be awkward, even though she'd know most things (she's around my age too).


Yeah I get that. I defo need someone who completely gets me and who is qualified to make me better. Its OK talking about things but it's the aftermath of this when I actually need someone who is experienced in bringing me back down to earth.

They reckon the treatment lasts for 8 weeks. This is nearly 50 years worth of trauma we're talking about and they reckon I'll be better within 8 weeks. I'm not so optimistic as they are about that.


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Dial1194
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16 Feb 2022, 6:32 am

Therapists are not trained to deal with absolutely every possibility. Some are trained in some areas, some in others. While they all (hopefully) have a certain core competence, it is entirely possible for them to run into things they have not themselves been trained in (yet).

This could simply be a case of that. They're not a specialist in the particular area that applies to you. Human psychology is an enormous and enormously complicated subject, and I don't think there's a therapist or psychologist alive today who knows all of it in any depth.

Hopefully, the therapist you saw would at least be able to get a rough idea of what you need from their general psychological knowledge, and could point you to someone specialized in the appropriate sub-area. Sometimes, achieving things can be a process of iteration, rather than a single step to the finish line.



FleaOfTheChill
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16 Feb 2022, 7:34 am

babybird wrote:
That is really encouraging and thank you. I can relate to a lt of what you are saying there as well. I dissociate and my personality switches. Before I went into the session I kept asking myself which one am I going to be and it turned out that the one that fronted was the one I probably needed but not the one I wanted. I think it may have freaked her out.

Anyway thank you for your two cents worth it means a lot.


Yep. I used to do that too. I never knew which version of me I'd end up being, but I knew which ones I didn't want to be, even if one of those versions were best suited for whatever situation was at hand.

I also get needing the time after a session to get grounded and centered again. The person I ended up doing the trauma work with was really good about that. We'd end sessions early even if on a surface level I seemed okay, then work on making sure I was in a stable place before sending me back out into the world. I didn't do emdr, so I don't know how that works...but I know I spent the first part of my trauma therapy (maybe a few months, I'm not sure) learning grounding/centering techniques before ever getting into the heavier stuff. That really helped me after my sessions as well as in day-to-day life. It took me longer to get through therapy, but it was necessary for me.

I'm not sure what you have in your metaphorical bag of tricks for coping/grounding at the moment, but it might be worth mentioning to whoever you end up with that you'd like to have some of those for after your sessions and in your daily life. I'm not saying that stuff makes things magically vanish after sessions or anything, but it sure can lessen the time you have to feel like that, and any less time feeling like that is a huge win, imho anyway.



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16 Feb 2022, 8:57 am

babybird wrote:
... but it's the aftermath of this when I actually need someone who is experienced in bringing me back down to earth. They reckon the treatment lasts for 8 weeks. This is nearly 50 years worth of trauma we're talking about and they reckon I'll be better within 8 weeks. I'm not so optimistic as they are about that.


Sounds like you'd benefit from a long-term psychologist or psychiatrist that focuses on PTSD and similar if you're able to afford it or government assistance can help. Talking about it over a year or two at least, for example, and you can break it up with talking about other stuff, like autism or some other mental disorder if things get too much. You generally don't want to rush into unleashing that storm of trauma if you never really have IMO. As I mentioned, having something to fall back on to talk about when it gets too much, helps. I used OCD as something to go back to.

Just my opinion, but I do have experience and have seen a lot of professionals in these matters.



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16 Feb 2022, 1:45 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
babybird wrote:
That is really encouraging and thank you. I can relate to a lt of what you are saying there as well. I dissociate and my personality switches. Before I went into the session I kept asking myself which one am I going to be and it turned out that the one that fronted was the one I probably needed but not the one I wanted. I think it may have freaked her out.

Anyway thank you for your two cents worth it means a lot.


Yep. I used to do that too. I never knew which version of me I'd end up being, but I knew which ones I didn't want to be, even if one of those versions were best suited for whatever situation was at hand.

I also get needing the time after a session to get grounded and centered again. The person I ended up doing the trauma work with was really good about that. We'd end sessions early even if on a surface level I seemed okay, then work on making sure I was in a stable place before sending me back out into the world. I didn't do emdr, so I don't know how that works...but I know I spent the first part of my trauma therapy (maybe a few months, I'm not sure) learning grounding/centering techniques before ever getting into the heavier stuff. That really helped me after my sessions as well as in day-to-day life. It took me longer to get through therapy, but it was necessary for me.

I'm not sure what you have in your metaphorical bag of tricks for coping/grounding at the moment, but it might be worth mentioning to whoever you end up with that you'd like to have some of those for after your sessions and in your daily life. I'm not saying that stuff makes things magically vanish after sessions or anything, but it sure can lessen the time you have to feel like that, and any less time feeling like that is a huge win, imho anyway.


Yeah I need grounding techniques. I find myself regressing to a small child to bring myself down and to find some kind of comfort.

Its so difficult. Thank you for your help.


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16 Feb 2022, 1:46 pm

Dillogic wrote:
babybird wrote:
... but it's the aftermath of this when I actually need someone who is experienced in bringing me back down to earth. They reckon the treatment lasts for 8 weeks. This is nearly 50 years worth of trauma we're talking about and they reckon I'll be better within 8 weeks. I'm not so optimistic as they are about that.


Sounds like you'd benefit from a long-term psychologist or psychiatrist that focuses on PTSD and similar if you're able to afford it or government assistance can help. Talking about it over a year or two at least, for example, and you can break it up with talking about other stuff, like autism or some other mental disorder if things get too much. You generally don't want to rush into unleashing that storm of trauma if you never really have IMO. As I mentioned, having something to fall back on to talk about when it gets too much, helps. I used OCD as something to go back to.

Just my opinion, but I do have experience and have seen a lot of professionals in these matters.


I like the idea of changing the subject. I reckon that would work for me. Thank you.


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cyberdad
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16 Feb 2022, 3:46 pm

Dial1194 wrote:
Therapists are not trained to deal with absolutely every possibility. Some are trained in some areas, some in others.


This is true. However the therapist will never tell you this.