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BugsBunnyFan
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05 Nov 2023, 2:31 am

It seems like I have on and off OCD. Sometimes I feel like I have pretty obvious OCD traits that go beyond the usual autistic obsessions. My obsessions start to feel a lot like pure-O. I know pure-O isn’t a real diagnosis, but it really describes my experience. I first heard about it when I heard about HOCD. Even though I know I’m not straight, my internal experience was basically identical to all the HOCD sufferers. I usually ended up being obsessively worried about possibly being bisexual, straight or asexual. I saw an OCD specialist and he said he’s pretty sure that I have OCD. At the same time he doesn’t believe in autistic. I felt pretty good about that, but at the same time that made me doubt whether I have true OCD. At the same time it feels pretty dismissive when people say my obsessions are just autism.

At this point I still haven’t gotten a great handle on my sexuality, but I’ve moved onto obsessing over other topics. For now I’ll just say I don’t want to be labelled, but no to dating guys. I don’t have to prove I have no attraction to guys to say no to dating them. It makes me so angry that I have to even justify why I don’t want to date them and prove that I absolutely have zero attraction to them. I think that fueled this obsession in the first place.

It seems like studying languages sort of “cures” my OCD symptoms. I like having less OCD symptoms, but that also makes it feel like it was all just in my head or autism. I guess learning languages might somewhat be a compulsion. I’m interested in learning languages, but at the same time trying to avoid OCD symptoms is a huge motivator. I find learning languages just keeps my brain busy.

I think OCD obsessions also sneak up on me. I’m usually aware of when I’m obsessing over something. It’s just hard to know when it’s an autistic obsession or more OCD. I think some of my “obsessive autistic posts” are actually compulsions. A lot of the time I compulsively think about how I’d respond in small talk or what my hobbies are and also ruminate about what people would think of each response I give and what they’d assume about me.

I already knew this was at least an autistic-level obsession. I know I think about this more than any NTs. This is how I know something is an autistic obsession. I’m guessing something is an OCD style obsession when I obsess more than even an autistic person would obsess. It makes me feel like an outcast in autistic communities. I just hate that I’m even more obsessive than the average autistic. Maybe that’s just explained by OCD because I think a lot of these extra strong obsessions have compulsions and are driven by anxiety.



Patrick22348
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05 Nov 2023, 2:58 am

What you have is an over stimulated brain, that is why you have ocd, your brain is trying to organize everything coherently.


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naturalplastic
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05 Nov 2023, 4:23 am

If you are obsessed with doorknobs because....you're afraid of "getting germs", and waste time constantly cleaning and recleaning doorknobs for that reason then...thats OCD.

If you are obsessed with doorknobs because...you think doorknobs are cool, and revel in the...endless variety of doorknobs that humans have created down through the ages...and have coffee table books about the history design and varieties of doorknobs...and you drive folks away at parties because you cant stop monologuing about the subject of doorknobs...then...you have an "aspie obsession with doorknobs".

Two very different things.



BugsBunnyFan
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05 Nov 2023, 11:49 am

naturalplastic wrote:
If you are obsessed with doorknobs because....you're afraid of "getting germs", and waste time constantly cleaning and recleaning doorknobs for that reason then...thats OCD.

If you are obsessed with doorknobs because...you think doorknobs are cool, and revel in the...endless variety of doorknobs that humans have created down through the ages...and have coffee table books about the history design and varieties of doorknobs...and you drive folks away at parties because you cant stop monologuing about the subject of doorknobs...then...you have an "aspie obsession with doorknobs".

Two very different things.

I actually get several obsessions that are like both of the categories you mentioned.



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05 Nov 2023, 12:59 pm

OCD's get stuck. If they have a doorknob touching obsession they literally cannot continue on with their life until they touch that doorknob. Someone who is autistic may be distracted from their obsessions with a shiny new toy. They may forget all about their obsession and play with the new toy. OCD's don't do that.
OCD's can't get rid of obsessions. If something happens to all the doorknobs they invent new obsessions to replace the old ones.

I knew a lady with an odometer obsession. She couldn't return home with certain numbers on the odometer.
She would have to drive around until the numbers changed.



Last edited by BTDT on 05 Nov 2023, 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
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05 Nov 2023, 1:00 pm

What if someone's dealing with both? :scratch:


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05 Nov 2023, 1:01 pm

Yes, it is certainly possible to have both but I'm not an expert on sorting that out.



BugsBunnyFan
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05 Nov 2023, 2:12 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
What if someone's dealing with both? :scratch:

That’s what I get confused about. If my autistic special interests are intense enough, they can pull me away from OCD-like obsessions. Not completely, but enough to make it less intense for me. It also seems like I start creating new OCDish obsessions. If it’s not about my sexuality, it could be about health-ish stuff or social stuff.

I think a lot of my OCD-ish obsessions can look like obnoxious autistic obsessions. Sometimes I’ll compulsively post online or google how to respond in a hyper specific social situation over and over and over again. I end up getting super stuck and never satisfied. I thought this was just me being autistic and obsessive again, but this seems to have compulsions and it seems more repetitive and anxiety driven than my special interests. It also seems like some of my special interests get “infected” and end up taking on OCD traits. Even though there’s a huge difference between autistic and OCD obsessions, for me they kind of blur together sometimes. I just consider them OCD traits for now. I’m not sure if I have real OCD, but calling all of this autism seems incredibly dismissive.



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05 Nov 2023, 4:23 pm

You can have both, at the same time even, but they are not usually obsessions with the same things.

I may not be somekind of "expert" but I have one OCD type thing, and many aspie type interests. They are not on the planet of things. Feel different. Differ in origin.



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09 Nov 2023, 1:52 am

Autistic obsessions are 'reward based' whether the person wants it or not.

OCD are 'avoid the punishment anxiety based' whether or not it's rational.


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colliegrace
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09 Nov 2023, 3:37 am

OCD is commonly co-occurring with autism.

OCD is distressing. You do your compulsions because you feel like something bad will happen if you don't. It involves heavy anxiety.

Autistic rituals are relaxing. You find comfort and familiarity in doing them.


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09 Nov 2023, 6:21 am

naturalplastic wrote:
If you are obsessed with doorknobs because....you're afraid of "getting germs", and waste time constantly cleaning and recleaning doorknobs for that reason then...thats OCD.

If you are obsessed with doorknobs because...you think doorknobs are cool, and revel in the...endless variety of doorknobs that humans have created down through the ages...and have coffee table books about the history design and varieties of doorknobs...and you drive folks away at parties because you cant stop monologuing about the subject of doorknobs...then...you have an "aspie obsession with doorknobs".

Two very different things.


This is a good explanation of the differences between the two.



Esme
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10 Nov 2023, 1:24 pm

For me, it's a stress/fear response. I start getting very vivid daytime 'nightmares' about things like having my throat cut or someone I love dying in front of me. Or I notice I'm trying to calm myself down by repeatedly counting or working out the angles on objects around me. It's very random and sudden, but always linked to very high stress (which fortunately doesn't happen very often). It's an entirely separate thing from autism (which is constant) with specific triggers. Although in the past very extreme/abusive social situations have caused an OCD response, so it's linked in that sense.



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11 Nov 2023, 7:38 am

I know two young women diagnosed with OCD. Both say their OCD fluctuates depending on what they're doing. If they're distracted enough they don't OCD very much. But if they're not busy the symptoms are stronger and more frequently. Talking about their symptoms tends to trigger them.



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12 Nov 2023, 9:19 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
What if someone's dealing with both? :scratch:

That was me. There OCD bits tend to improve when anxiety does. The ASD ones don't really change much typically other than your enthusiasm for it. With OCD, the more you indulge, the worse it gets.

But, the one you've gotten credit for tends to mask the other.



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13 Nov 2023, 9:15 am

MatchboxVagabond wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
What if someone's dealing with both? :scratch:

That was me. There OCD bits tend to improve when anxiety does. The ASD ones don't really change much typically other than your enthusiasm for it. With OCD, the more you indulge, the worse it gets.

But, the one you've gotten credit for tends to mask the other.

I think it’s the same for me. I feel like I get more OCD looking traits when my anxiety is worse. I guess when I engage with ASD interests I’m distracted and my anxiety goes down. I just don’t have the most overt compulsions. I know it’s possible to have more subtle versions of OCD. I think since I have an autism diagnosis, it’s easy to just label anything vaguely autistic as autism.

I know I can’t treat my OCD looking obsessions the same way I treat autistic obsessions. I find my OCD looking obsessions also sneak up on me because I usually assume any obsession I have is just autism. Growing up people also dismissed any OCDish obsession. They just scolded me nonstop about being autistic and obsessive. So I’ve obsessed for years about how to hide obsessions.