Delusion: believing that what others say isn't true
May I ask...
I've been hospitalised twice, and got diagnosed with Schizophrenia years before I was hospitalised. From what I've experienced psychiatrists/psychotherapists did not provide me with contrary evidence to what I thought, or said. Heck, I wasn't even told what my diagnosis is so I could reflect on it and maybe understand what it means to me. So how can I know, theoretically, if I hold a false belief despite 'indisputable evidence to the contrary'?
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Double X and proud of it / male pronouns : he, him, his
I find it very disturbing that suspected schizophrenia patients aren't told their own diagnosis. I only know of mine because I overheard a doctor talking to my parents when they visited me during my brief stay in a psychiatric clinic. Nobody ever bothered to explain to me what was supposedly wrong with me.
At least in Germany, schizophrenia seems to be a catch-all diagnosis for everyone who seems anxious and agitated. Of course I was just that after spending an entire day in a noisy and disturbing clinic environment (disturbing due to strange co-patients and roommates, one of which was screaming all the time). My usual routine was disrupted, I didn't like the food, couldn't get any coffee, didn't have enough nicotine in my bloodstream because the smoker's lounge was too overcrowded for me to hang out there, had not slept the night before, and couldn't get any privacy and any quiet moment in that place. No wonder that I was close to a meltdown
What I didn't was is delusional. I'm an atheist, a naturalist and a rational skeptic. I don't subscribe to any conspiracy theories, don't hold any superstitious beliefs, and I'm able to see the world in grey shades rather than black and white or good and evil. I didn't hear voices, didn't see things, and didn't feel persecuted. I was merely a nervous wreck who wanted to get somewhere sane and safe and quiet, ASAP and pretty please. Apparently, that's sufficient reason to be restrained and injected with antipsychotics once you've voluntary checked yourself into therapy
Years later, I again sought help for my anxiety, depression, social awkwardness and reclusiveness, and also mentioned to the psychiatrist that I might be schizophrenic. I just wasn't sure. Back then, I knew nothing about Asperger's, and some Asperger symptoms fit the schizophrenia bill. She told me after a ten minute chat "I really don't have the impression that you are schizophrenic, but you know what, I'll prescribe you something that might take the pressure off".
What she prescribed was Zyprexa, an antipsychotic Main side effects: ravenous appetite, rapid weight gain and diabetes. Just perfect for somebody with an inflammatory bowel disease and a stenosis who has to keep a strict diet. As much as I believe in modern medical science, I've entirely lost my trust in psychiatric medicine (I would say "psychotherapy", but that doesn't seem to exist anymore. Psychiatrists are just walking prescription pads nowadays).
I was just told self-injury and not speaking to my mum isn't common, as if that is any explanation at all as to why they thought I have Schizophrenia. The simpler explanation is that people who come from a troubled home would have an inclination to do both.
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Double X and proud of it / male pronouns : he, him, his