Anyone with Alexithymia?

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This is something I've never heard of. I know that my daughter and I (both Aspies) often have delayed response to emotional stimuli, and sometimes when we do react it's in a very odd way. This in itself can be confusing. We don't always recognize exactly what we are feeling. I have come to accept that about myself, and generally can figure out now what is going on, but my daughter is still a teenager and inexperienced with life, and worries that it makes her somehow crazy. Don't know how to help her there.

I'll try to explain, it doesn't quite make sense to me yet, but this is my base understanding... I was sensitive to how other people felt, if they were experiencing negative emotions, I would usually know how to help them. As the symptoms of anxiety worsened, I started to become hyper aware of negative emotions in my immediate environment, and anyone displaying irritation for example would trigger anxiety. I think hyper vigilance led to experiencing an influx of other peoples emotions.

I have always had a basic emotional range, but didn't realise that until recently; because I have always felt emotions from other people, so from my perspective there wasn't a void of emotions, I empathised with others experiencing strong emotions. I did believe that I was just laid back about emotional stuff. I think these emotions were part of patterns in others that I sub consciously noticed, and became aware of through a gut feeling/intuition/mild anxiety, I didn't know how I knew that a person was upset for example, they didn't tell me, they weren't displaying obvious signs e.g. tears.

Some time ago I imploded and became quite numb to everything, since I started taking medication my emotional range is limited, sad, neutral, increasing moments of contentedness, and occasional anger, in that order, but they are identifiably my emotions; I have also become increasingly aware of how other peoples emotional states effect mine. There are parts missing from this description, I don't know how to put them into words.

I think there is a good amount of sweetness in you.....And a sense of humor.

I don't find you apathetic at all. You're vigilant (in a good way) in certain respects.

Ah, the ability find fun and giggle... I don't know how I would survive without it. Thanks Kraftie.

I haven't been diagnosed with this but I do have trouble with my own emotions and sometimes I don't know what I feel. I can recognise the basic emotions in myself like happy sad angry. I can recognise other people's feelings though and can guess how someone might feel in a situation but when I myself feel too much emotion I don't know what to do and often can't put a name to it.

I'm having troubles with this again.
I keep second guessing this because, unfortunately, I don't just get to cruise through life without any emotions whatsoever like a Vulcan, which is what I always seem to associate alexithymia with being - emotionless.
With me, it's that I don't feel anything in particular most of the time and I like that - it's a vaguely optimistic equilibrium, neutral with minor spikes toward either end of the spectrum, but such are short lived and rather removed.
My trouble this time arose thus - I was at a meditation, and that notoriously accesses parts of the mind not used in general life - switching your brainwaves from beta to theta, etc. An especially astute teacher also utilised music to really kick us when we're down, and this somehow enabled me to feel things I am not normally capable of feeling. I was swamped by an alarmingly negative feeling relating to the past, and how I have carried that into the present. I realised that this has actually been a problem for almost 30 years. I was just not aware of it. I was aware of it as a fact, a piece of information I knew to be true, but I could not accept it because I couldn't understand the emotions around it. Thus, my vaguely alexithymic mind just pushed it away. And there it remained, doing who knows what horrible things to my subconscious mind and influencing my behaviour without me being aware of any of it.
When I equalised back into my beta state, this seemed wholly unsatisfactory. Now I know that it is there, and have identified that it does influence me even if I can't feel anything about it particularly in my conscious state, it seems almost like there are potential black spots in the mind that I won't go anywhere near because I can't process any of the emotions attached to it that are nonetheless at work. They're there - I just can't interpret them. It seems unsatisfactory to walk around like this, carrying around something potentially harmful. My waking pragmatic mind reasoned that something must be done about it. I have been seeing a councillor, but like many alexithymics apparently, therapy is mostly unsuccessful with me, and we have got precisely nowhere, probably because I can't access, understand, relate to or process any emotions I may have. I'd just rather not have any, and I use the "emotional" information that does get through simply as a basis for action - eg I'm in pain, I don't like that, I should attend to the source of that pain and fix it.
If the meditative state provided an access (albeit a wholly unpleasant and unwelcome one) that tells me that access can be made, even if I have no idea what to do when it is, aside from feel awkward aversion and just push it away. Anyone actually had success working this out? Any idea how to raise this with a councillor? I'm not even sure I understand myself, but I'm obviously no psychology expert.

I did not realize that this had a name! I have always had major issues identifying, expressing, and verbalizing my emotions. Although I can typically sense if my feelings are negative or positive, there are still many times where I don't have a clue, even in this vague regard. Many times people will ask me if I am mad at them during an interaction, and I go completely blank. After they get annoyed that I haven't formed a response, I finally have to admit that I don't know. It can take me hours, days, or longer to become aware of how I am feeling, and then even deeper analyses is required for me to be able to pinpoint my emotions and associate them with words.

I found the test that you referenced very informative, and I like how it went beyond giving an overall score, by also breaking it down into the specific sections.

My overall score of 128 said I showed "high alexithymic traits."

My broken down score (the normal range is in brackets):

Category: Difficulty Identifying Feelings: 25 Points <15 - 18>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Difficulty Describing Feelings: 19 Points <10 - 12>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Vicarious Interpretation of Feelings: 13 Points <8 - 9>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Externally-Oriented Thinking: 23 Points <18 - 21>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Restricted Imaginative Processes: 18 Points <18 - 21>
In this category you show some alexithymic traits.

Category: Problematic Interpersonal Relationships: 22 Points <15 - 18>
In this category you show high alexithymic traits.

Category: Sexual Difficulties and Disinterest: 8 Points <10 - 12>
In this category you show no alexithymic traits.


Some of the questions on these tests are hard to know how to answer, but I enjoy taking these because of the enlightenment they provide.

I have it. I can never really pin point what emotions I'm feeling. I KNOW something is there but I just can't specify what it is...

I wish doctors would understand this better. That when patients complain of physical pain, sickness, and discomfort that can't be verified by any medical tests, maybe they're not just making it up for attention; maybe they have a neurological disorder that causes them to not really understand how they're feeling, or whether their discomfort is physical or emotional.

I can't tell the difference, personally. If I'm stressed, I feel sick, and if I'm sick, I feel stressed. I've learned to just not go to the doctor unless I have symptoms that are glaringly obvious, and provable by medical examination. Otherwise - oh well, it's just my wacky neurology making me feel like crap, as usual.

It was about a year ago I became aware that I sometimes couldn't identify emotions. At one point I came across a post about alexithymia and suddenly a light bulb lit up in my head. My best friend actually brought it up to me recently because it sounded like what I experience. I can tell how I'm feeling when it's more extreme or apparent but otherwise I can't.

I found out that alexithymia was a strong component of my AS when I went through my diagnostic assessment just recently.

I had been aware in the past that my reaction to events wasn't like the people around me, for example; not feeling a sense of loss at funerals, difficulty reciprocating 'love', or never understanding the meaning of the word "fun". I also found it very strange that in my previous job, people would often come and ask if I was OK, and to keep calm (in the nicest possible way) on a regular basis - when it seemed like just an ordinary day to me. I realise now that I was probably showing a lot of outward signs of being stressed or anxious - but the link between body and mind was broken, so I didn't see my behaviour as indicative of my mood.

I totally agree with previous posters - the medical community and society at large need to understand this better.

The whole reason that alexithymia was identified at my autism assessment was because I reported how inadequate several spells of CBT had been in the past at treating depression/anxiety. I always got the impression that the therapists didn't know what to do with me when I couldn't report my emotional state - in at least one case, leading them to investigate my childhood in great detail looking for some kind of "trauma" that I might be repressing (there was none that couldn't easily be explained by my undiagnosed AS). We can only wonder how many other people are getting poor results from therapy due to similar misconceptions by the people trying to treat them.

What was fascinating for me when I learned more about this, is just how physical a thing it can be - that when people talk about having a "gut feeling" or "butterflies in their stomach", it really is as if their sub-conscious mind communicates with the conscious mind through the medium of the body. In the past, I would very often read those sensations as simply indicating a mild illness, indigestion, hunger etc. - I had no idea just how literal the notion of "feeling" emotions could be.

Not being able to identify or verbalize emotions at a particular time (not necessarily like nonverbal shutdown/meltdown) has happened. I strongly recall being asked if i didn't know how I felt, who did? At the time it just confused me, then later it upset me, and I attempted to apply it to others I witnessed. Turns out I then learned, understood, and knew exactly why. I can have tremendous compassion for fellow sufferers. I have argued with myself about alexithymia for quite some time and also discussed it with mental health professionals. I do find that it often helps to reflect rather than to react, but more importantly knowing and understanding that sometimes that identification is erroneous or a "file not found" is part of my life has helped me to cope and to work better with others.

The one relationship I'm part of right now I owe to my empathy, I guess I'm just more interested in others' emotions. Keeping my own set aside feels as much like a discipline as it does an abberance.

Hi!
I have kind of selective Alexithymia. I am unable to feel sadness but i have quite vivid feelings of happiness and anger. I could paint them on the canvas and i can identify them immediately...but when i am sad my fingertips became numb, and i am unable to grasp things. I realised about this equivalent to sadness just recently. If the situation is particularly distressful my gross motor skills deteriorate as well. Fear is also somehow hard to detect for me, it come as an uncomfortable acid feeling in the stomach. I am nevertheless grateful that i have somatic equivalents because it makes me really feel as an complete person.

I score high in emotional blindness, almost all high alexithymia traits in identify feelings, describing feelings, problematic interpersonal r/s... so on

Basically a robot a machine .. I dont tell people how I feel & if the other party is angry , I can't really tell unless he tells me literally in my face, in both scenario I probably wont be able to react either.

I've told my partner when we broke up that I am devoid of emotions. He didnt understand or believe so.

But Why ?

As why I have that, I think the reason is emotional neglect when I was a child, emotional needs are constantly not meet even if I've voiced it out. And thats probably the reason of this, a constant suppress of emotions and feelings that it sinks deep within us.

Hi all,
I'm reasonably sure I'm in the Alex club too
Doing the test at http://www.alexithymia.us/test-alex.html gives the following overall result:

and the following breakdown:-


I'm also quite sure this is why I get limited results with counselling and particularly CBT. I'm currently on a waiting list for Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) which is a more structured analysis of your interpersonal relationships and there effect on your depression, it does not appear to require you to have immediate emotional awareness. I have "high hopes" it might finally be something that has a long term useful effect for me.