anyone here have PTSD from something other than from combat?

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Yeah I think mine is from various traumas building up though not just a single event. I was struggling really bad with it for quite some time and that along with the aspergers, depression and anxiety I had beforehand led me to apply for disability which I am currently getting. Now I am doing a bit better though, I had a good therapist and she kind of helped me go back and really identify the roots of the trauma. But I know there are some triggers I am still vulnerable to so it's certainly still lingering under the surface and i feel like I have to keep it in check and make sure it doesn't start getting worse...which can really be a pain in the a** and take away from enjoying the moment.

Basically one of my siblings was molested by an in-law when I was like 6 and feeling guilty I didn't know sooner and try and do something to help...then of course felt embarrased that it got to me so much since it happened to them and not me so kind of buried my feelings about it deep in my mind, then I suffered fairly chronic bullying and in H.S some gunman came in the school and shot this girl I knew and was on rather friendly terms with. The main triggers I really have is hearing about shootings of random people makes me pretty tense and I really hate sirens and hearing about child molesters(that induces more rage than fear though).

Probably I have come to the conclusion that my reoccuring flash backs are PTSD, though I didn't think that was possible because there is a major overlap in the symptoms and traits, but I've been proved wrong. Though yeah.

At length. I've spent a long time trying very hard not to be triggered by conflict.

The antipsychotic triggers had gotten better. I was down to going off on a short rant or flipping the TV the bird. Then I asked for actual medical (like chemical) help to deal with the fact that conflict sets me off like crazy.

Guess what's back, full bore?? Yeah. I spent an hour this afternoon strategizing the best way to kill myself if they try to make me take antipsychotics again, all because my therapist expressed concern that I could possibly be developing mania from SSRIs.

I don't think I am. I think I'm triggering like effing crazy and that's why my anxiety is through the roof, and the things I've gotten angry over are actually GOOD things to get angry over (though I did melt down instead of shutting down for the first time in years-- well, at least I was able to do it quietly, in the privacy of my bedroom, and the only thing that got destroyed was a pillowcase that already had a rip in it and a pillow that was about to be given to the dog anyway).

How the hell do I stop going into full panic in the face of anything that vaguely resembles conflict??

I don't know. I shut down at the pharmacy counter this morning because I didn't understand the psych's instructions on Tuesday. I thought I was supposed to use the refill on my current prescription, and she called me in a new one instead, and I came very close to falling down on the floor crying and begging the pharmacist to please not hurt me or call the cops or take my kids away. All over a misunderstanding about Zoloft.

I was hoping they'd understand the place in which I find myself and give me some goddamn benzos so I could, like, ease myself into not flipping out in the face of conflict with some chemical help. Klonopin gave me really bad rebound anxiety after the first few times I took it, and when I told them that and that I wanted to try a shorter-acting one they basically decided I was just shopping around to get high.

Whatevs, man. f**k it. I'll figure out how to fix the GABA levels in my brain myself. I like plants. I'm good at research. I'll f*****g figure it out, because as much suicidal ideation as I am fighting at this point, I am not going to let this s**t beat me, break me, or kill me.

At least, I'm gonna try. It might end up doing it anyway, but I will fight until my last act.

I guess the answer is by facing it, and getting triggered over and over and over again, until I learn to do it right or learn that not every conflict is going to result in either A) the other party immediately getting their way, or B) the other party attempting to destroy me, whichever comes last.

Or until it kills me.

Either way...

B19 has a thread about GABA in this forum somewhere.

She and I might disagree about a lot of things, like liberalism and feminism and all kinds of social stuff, but those things are subjective and we can both be right, for ourselves and our lives. Disagreeing about that stuff doesn't mean she's stupid or does not have other knowledge and information of value.

I wish WP had a "Thanks For This Useful Post" button.

For B19 and OOM both. Because yeah, ya damn redneck broad, you helped kick me out of another panic/hopelessness/defeat spiral. Hubby is probably grateful too. I know he's sick of doing it.

I did? Well thank you for telling me! I'm so glad something I said actually helped somebody! ((hugs)) When was it, if you don't mind my asking? I hate that feeling you are talking about. I'm kind of in a funk right now with being overwhelmed by a bunch of stuff going on and being smack dab in actual menopause at the moment instead of that perimenopause s**t I've had for a couple years. It's all apathy though right now, instead of losing all hope, so that's something at least. The antidepressants that have always worked haven't done much of anything at the moment so f**k it. I'm in no danger, I'm just blah and needing a kick in the ass. Unfortunately the doctor wont give me time release adderall, which is what I think would give me an energy boost, motivation and the slight mood lift I need, because I don't have ADHD or anything. They used to give stronger speed to housewives and it worked. Everybody was happy, the houses got vacumed in pearls and the hair was perfect and Doris Day sang Que Sera Sera on the radio. But then the 70s happened and they stopped doing that. I posted about it in members only if you want to take a look.

Thanks for letting me know that I helped. That makes me feel good and I appreciate knowing it.

I suspect I have PTSD from a night I spent with a girl about a year ago, that did not end well.

I was diagnosed with PTSD from sexual abuse as a child, severe bullying, and from being in an abusive relationship/marriage. It was while I was getting therapy for the PTSD that led me to being diagnosed with Asperger's when the therapist suggested I had traits of it. While the PTSD is mostly under control now, there are things that trigger it.