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Fairfield
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29 Apr 2023, 10:35 am

Recidivist wrote:
Fairfield wrote:
I took it to mean, do you view the people who have cut you out of their life, or you cut out of your life, as entirely bad and irredeemable.


Well in that case, I don't think the 'evil dooer' :jester: is entirely bad and they have redeemable qualities. I do think they are toxic though hence why they have not been a part of my family for years. I answered correctly.

I tried to base my answer off of some more recent friendships/favourite persons I've had. If I based it off of my parents that I cut out of my life, then yes they are evil and I hate them LMAO, but like my last FP I do tend to excessively devalue them and sometimes fall into thinking they are a bad person, even though I logically know they probably didn't have any ill intent. So I think I chose the "somewhat agree"-esque option because I have a tendency to think like that, but still can "logic" myself out of it.



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29 Apr 2023, 10:38 am

Fairfield wrote:
but still can "logic" myself out of it.


Well that would suggest you disagree as I believe everyone has that initial 'you evil c**t' thought.


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Fairfield
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29 Apr 2023, 10:41 am

racheypie666 wrote:
Splitting, as I understand it, is cutting off a relationship and all of your feelings about that person, possibly with cause (it might be an over-exaggerated cause due to people with BPD being paranoid and feeling things very deeply), or with no cause at all. It's not something you try to do, necessarily, it's just something that happens.

I guess 'unstable relationships' is more to do with how those relationships are before you 'split', i.e. are they tumultuous, violent, off-again-on-again etc...

That makes sense, and yeah I am surprised I didn't rate higher on "splitting". I literally just had that happen with my last FP. Cut the relationship off + my feelings about them, because they moved and I felt like they didn't put enough effort in + that it was useless to attempt to keep it going after they moved if they were going to treat me like that.



IsabellaLinton
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29 Apr 2023, 10:49 am

Re: Evil

I think these tests often forget that some people really do deal with evil individuals.
I know they were looking to see if we're paranoid etc., but that's not always what it's about.
I've had "evil" people in my life.
They were charged with violent and sadistic crimes, and formally dx'ed as psycho.

I wouldn't want to be considered Borderline just for acknowledging their status.


@FF,

I have trauma too so I can relate to what you're saying about the difficulty forming relationships. In my case I don't want to form many relationships because I don't have the emotional energy to keep up. When I do have relationships I blame myself if things go wrong, rather than blaming the other person. In reality it's usually not anyone's fault. It's more likely we just weren't compatible or the relationship grew apart over time. I experienced that with my female friends growing up, and even with my Maid of Honour. I don't experience it much anymore because I'd rather be alone with my pets or just with MR.

I'm fortunate because I don't work anymore, so I don't have to manage the day-to-day relationships you do. I've had my marriage and my kids and my trauma is supposedly over. Now I can just coast without worrying about relationships - except one, of course.

Trade - uh, maybe not - but you'll be OK. Keep working on your trauma therapy to help with those moments of extreme anxiety or the fear of abandonment.

{{{ hugs }}}


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racheypie666
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29 Apr 2023, 12:06 pm

^ The rest of the test seems to have controlled for knowing truly 'evil' people somewhat, since you scored so low on all the metrics. Either way, I don't think you'd ever be classed as borderline solely for having experiences with people you regard as evil. I think statistically we've all probably dealt with someone who is psychopathic or irredeemably vile*, but those relationships are (hopefully) outliers and don't characterise the way your relationships have been with people in general. If you've drifted apart from people and don't blame them solely (if at all) for those relationships naturally fading, then you're not the type of person who thinks 'all people who leave me are evil'.


*I don't mean this to diminish your trauma or the people you've had to deal with. It is definitely a sliding scale as regards how evil these people can be and how deeply they affect our lives, and I know you're on the extreme end of it.



colliegrace
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29 Apr 2023, 12:19 pm

I got low indications.


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IsabellaLinton
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29 Apr 2023, 12:32 pm

racheypie666 wrote:
^ The rest of the test seems to have controlled for knowing truly 'evil' people somewhat, since you scored so low on all the metrics. Either way, I don't think you'd ever be classed as borderline solely for having experiences with people you regard as evil. I think statistically we've all probably dealt with someone who is psychopathic or irredeemably vile*, but those relationships are (hopefully) outliers and don't characterise the way your relationships have been with people in general. If you've drifted apart from people and don't blame them solely (if at all) for those relationships naturally fading, then you're not the type of person who thinks 'all people who leave me are evil'.


*I don't mean this to diminish your trauma or the people you've had to deal with. It is definitely a sliding scale as regards how evil these people can be and how deeply they affect our lives, and I know you're on the extreme end of it.


All good points. ^

I knew what the question was getting at so I said "Disagree", considering the other people in my life. I've had a lot of friendships that implode but I still don't consider the people evil, let alone toxic. Like I said earlier, it's not usually anyone's fault at all. For example, my marriage didn't end nicely but I'm still glad I met him and married him or else I wouldn't have the kids I have today, and that would be a worse fate than dealing with someone who's been toxic.


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racheypie666
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29 Apr 2023, 12:39 pm

^ I think 'disagree' was definitely the right call. You are too empathetic a person to see people and relationships in such black-and-white terms, save for the monsters. :heart:



TwilightPrincess
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29 Apr 2023, 7:34 pm

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babybird
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30 Apr 2023, 3:07 pm

I didn't do the test. However I was in the paper once after a court case I had been involved with and I found out that I had bpd from the report. Can't ever remember getting the actual diagnosis though so it's a mystery to me.

I've since been told that I don't really come across as having it so I don't know.


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30 Apr 2023, 3:33 pm

babybird wrote:
I was in the paper once after a court case I had been involved with and I found out that I had bpd from the report.


WTF! That's nuts.


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babybird
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30 Apr 2023, 3:42 pm

Recidivist wrote:
babybird wrote:
I was in the paper once after a court case I had been involved with and I found out that I had bpd from the report.


WTF! That's nuts.


Well yeah. It was about 30 years ago though.


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30 Apr 2023, 4:29 pm

babybird wrote:
Recidivist wrote:
babybird wrote:
I was in the paper once after a court case I had been involved with and I found out that I had bpd from the report.


WTF! That's nuts.


Well yeah. It was about 30 years ago though.


Still f*****g nuts, ooh! I'm in the paper, what does it say? What? I have BPD? First I've heard of it :jester:


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babybird
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30 Apr 2023, 4:34 pm

I struggle to understand how they got hold of such information about me to be honest seeing as how I don't even remember getting diagnosed in the first place.

The only time I could have got diagnosed was when I was locked up as a kid but I would have only been about 14 or 15 years old then and I didn't think they could pin such diagnoses on you until you're 18.

Mind you it was a different world back then.


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30 Apr 2023, 4:37 pm

Sounds like BS sensationalism if you ask me.


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IsabellaLinton
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30 Apr 2023, 4:40 pm

babybird wrote:
Recidivist wrote:
babybird wrote:
I was in the paper once after a court case I had been involved with and I found out that I had bpd from the report.


WTF! That's nuts.


Well yeah. It was about 30 years ago though.


Did the term BPD even exist then??

There were interesting things about me in the paper too.

They've since been burnt. :twisted:


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