Bipolar/Aspergers support and chat thread

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Still tell your counselor all that. You counselor knows you in person and can judge better than I.
And it's important because of antidepressents, because they can trigger a (hypo)manic episode.

I am having a really, really, really hard time. I am told I do not have bipolar disorder but I do not think most people want to kill themselves when things go wrong, even when they go really wrong. I don't know what to do, every day it's a huge struggle to decide if I should keep going or do something to myself, I have no reasons to keep going anymore so it takes all the energy there is and it's still not enough. I have been living in a nightmare for months on end and I just can't take it. There's not a reason for me to exist anymore and it's so painful I don't know why I should.

It's quite possible that you indeed don't have bipolar, but to me it seems highly unlikely that you don't have unipolar depression. To clarify as that is a bit garbled, you probably have major depression (which is more common than bipolar). Who told you you didn't have bipolar? Was it a medical professional? Did they diagnose you with depression? From what I'm reading on here if they didn't then they're probably incompetent.

Yes, a medical professional. Yes, depression. I don't think that label really gets at the whole thing though. Thank you very much for your help and I'm sorry for posting non-replies, I don't know how to put things.

Have you experienced any manic or hypomanic episodes, or anything that appears that way? Like you feel elated, high self esteem, ultra productive, that sort of thing? This is the current criteria for a manic episode - hypomania is the same criteria except it is lasting for at least 4 days (as opposed to a week).

A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).

B. During the period of mood disturbance, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:

(1) inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
(2) decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
(3) more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
(4) flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
(5) distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
(6) increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
(7) excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)

I'm doing better in some ways, I started Vyvanse and guess what? I finally passed my license test for driving due to being able to focus properly. I finally have my license and can drive! I'm so happy and proud of myself.

On the flip side, Vyvanse is giving me really weird dreams. Some of them are violent and dark, so Im a bit worried about this. I dont know or think dreams are directly related to conscious life, but they do influence me to some degree in art and stories. I mean, they are just dreams.

I am getting slightly irritable right when it wears off, around 9 pm. I suddenly don't want to move. I also wake up feeling upset, right before I take it, and blah. I've had some odd thoughts upon waking. Sometimes the Vyvanse knocks me out or makes me tired. It calms me down a lot and helps with my irratability through out the day. It was working the most in the first few weeks.

Should I increase the dose in a few weeks? Or are nightmares a valid concern?

Congratulations with the driving Kalinda, that's a huge achievement!! (Can't wait until I reach the stage where I am well enough to learn to drive). I haven't ever taken Vyvanse myself, but I get vivid and often distrubing dreams myself every night, don't know if it's wise but I tend to just ignore them as they don't bother me all that much and don't seem (as far as I'm aware) to affect me during the day. I think to me it's far more important that the medicine works during the day as this is the time I need to be active and out and about doing things. But everyone is different.

My main concern with my meds at the moment is sick swooping feelings in my stomach and that the hair loss seems to have gotten a bit bad (my hair seems very thinned out at the moment, and it used to be super thick).

was diagnosed this summer

Do any of you bipolar aspies find you stim a LOT more when manic?

yep, find myself humming and making other sounds almost constantly, jumping around, etc.

I have an appointment by a new psychiatrist on September 19th, because of Bipolar.
I want to ask him for his oppinion and he can supsrcibe me something.
As medication I would like lithium or vaproic acid.

I am a biiiiiit nervous.

Hi,

I just wanted to make a presence here because I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II and am in the process of getting an Asperger's diagnosis. I also have Tourette's Syndrome. Life is hard for me, though no one around me seems to realize it.

I also find that my symptoms (for both mania and depression) can be very physical - when I'm manic I can stim to very extreme levels, jump around, and I also have a tendency to have massive energy and restlessness - a very common behaviour for me when manic/hypomanic is to go for long (6-7km) runs at any hour of the day or night, or get into "extreme fitness mode" in any sporting area. Once I walked for 2 hours in dress shoes in the middle of the day in summer despite the fact my feet became so blistered I actually had to take my shoes off and walk the final half bare foot, and then when I got back I still had so much energy I went and swam 12 laps of the 50m lane uni pool. Once I swam 120 laps of the pool at home straight (doing freestyle, breast stroke, and butterfly) when I was hypomanic.

Welcome

So I've been up for 32+ hours, and I'm not able to sleep cause I'm way to freaking energetic. This is rather shocking considering I have a chronic illness the decimates my energy levels. I don't know what to do.

I went to a new shrink today and he sayed I have too many stressors at the moment to be sure that I have Bipolar, but he has this suspicion and we have to wait and see until I have less stressors.

So now I don't know more than before, but at least I know that it is possible and I have a new shrink now that I come along with, not like my old shrink.
So, to be 100% sure we have to wait until I have less stressors and he just diagnosed me depressions at the moment and I shall come back in 4 weeks.