ViewUpHere wrote:
"The cure for depression is to just cheer up, darn it!"
Har har... I actually had a therapist tell me that. I came in depressed out of my mind, and that was their advice: cheer up. I didn't laugh. What scared me was, neither did they. They were serious.
I don't really have people tell me to cheer up or be happy. But people do ask me what's on my mind if I'm looking out of sorts. From a therapeutic standpoint the latter is a much better approach. These days if someone told me to be happy, I'd tell them to grow an extra arm.
Many years ago, a therapist I had been seeing on and off for years wanted me to "finally" get to dealing with some of the trauma in my childhood. So, I was writing a lot, remembering a lot, had current pressures of no job, bills, kids, etc. She kept telling me to not take any of the jobs I could get, to finally find my place in the world blah blah. So, My life was hard, my mind was on some pretty horrific things in the past, I show up for a session, a mess, and she says "I have something important to tell you, QUIT WHINING." Now this was a woman who compared my situation of getting behind in my mortgage, partly because of not taking any old job, to her "need" of money to go to Europe for a vacation, which only required her to ask her DADDY (she was mid forties, and still asking Daddy for money). This was the woman who bought a new car, kept it week, decided she has short changed herself, went back to the dealership and threw a hissy fit to get a better model car (the car she had bought was already titled and there was nothing wrong with it), this was the woman who needed her entire condo replumbed, didn't have the money, didn't ask Daddy for that money, got a plumber to come in and do days and days worth of work, and lots of new pipes etc were purchased by him, and afterward, when he gave her the bill, she said "I can't pay this now, but I will pay you when I can, you will just have to wait".
I quit going, and realized the craziest thing I had been doing was going to this woman for help! Funny thing, I had run up a bill with her, got some money, paid some of her bill, but still owed her. I had to file bankruptcy, chapter 13, where you pay your creditors a portion of what is owed, the court decides, she was sent the paperwork to get paid, but never bothered to send it back in.