Page 3 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Cattyemo
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 27 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8

29 Dec 2011, 4:20 pm

Hate it whaen people say that!

It makes me feel as though I have to make myself happy, but of course i can't so i feel I have done something wrong. Which only adds to my deppression.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

30 Dec 2011, 1:15 am

Maybe plastic surgery with a fake ever smiling face would do lot of good :D :D :D



SuzzyQ
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 12

30 Dec 2011, 3:25 pm

Not only do I hate it when people tell you to cheer up but when they tell you 'be strong'



Bun
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,356

09 Jan 2012, 8:39 pm

No. I prefer people tell me I'm lazy or stupid or tell me to light the f**k up or whatever, than refer to me by disabilities.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,907
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

10 Jan 2012, 4:07 am

SuzzyQ wrote:
Not only do I hate it when people tell you to cheer up but when they tell you 'be strong'


That bothers me even more then being told to be happy when I'm not...I mean sure if they say be happy it could be seen as an attempt at being helpful as unhelpful and invalidating as it is. If they say be strong though then there ignoring the obvious fact you probably would be if you could same with the happiness thing to really.


_________________
We won't go back.


marshall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

13 Jan 2012, 11:37 pm

I'm curious how so many people seem to think everyone has a choice regarding their emotional state, but they wouldn't assume anyone has as much of a choice regarding direct physical reactions like pain.

Anyways, I've had enough experience with mood swings brought on by experiments with various medications, drugs, even food, where honestly I can feel fine or even slightly energetic at one point then be extremely lethargic, anxious, and/or deeply depressed the next. Depression can hit to the point where it seems the entire world is collapsing in on me and there's absolutely nothing I can do to feel any better, and sometimes that's without any immediate stress in my life. It's just vague feelings of doom and gloom completely overcoming me which I don't have control over.

A lot of this makes me really doubt there even is such a thing is free-will. Free-will is simply something that is demanded to be believed as otherwise you lose all hope. The thought that the difference between happiness and misery all boils down to various chemicals and electrical charges percolating through my brain fills me with an icy cold dread.

So yea, being commanded to cheer up pisses me off. If it were literally possible the statement wouldn't be so offensive.



169Kitty
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 24 Dec 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 214
Location: Minnesota

14 Jan 2012, 1:24 am

yup, I hate it, especially when I say it to myself.



backagain
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 Dec 2010
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 306

15 Jan 2012, 11:59 am

ViewUpHere wrote:
"The cure for depression is to just cheer up, darn it!"

Har har... I actually had a therapist tell me that. I came in depressed out of my mind, and that was their advice: cheer up. I didn't laugh. What scared me was, neither did they. They were serious.

I don't really have people tell me to cheer up or be happy. But people do ask me what's on my mind if I'm looking out of sorts. From a therapeutic standpoint the latter is a much better approach. These days if someone told me to be happy, I'd tell them to grow an extra arm.


Many years ago, a therapist I had been seeing on and off for years wanted me to "finally" get to dealing with some of the trauma in my childhood. So, I was writing a lot, remembering a lot, had current pressures of no job, bills, kids, etc. She kept telling me to not take any of the jobs I could get, to finally find my place in the world blah blah. So, My life was hard, my mind was on some pretty horrific things in the past, I show up for a session, a mess, and she says "I have something important to tell you, QUIT WHINING." Now this was a woman who compared my situation of getting behind in my mortgage, partly because of not taking any old job, to her "need" of money to go to Europe for a vacation, which only required her to ask her DADDY (she was mid forties, and still asking Daddy for money). This was the woman who bought a new car, kept it week, decided she has short changed herself, went back to the dealership and threw a hissy fit to get a better model car (the car she had bought was already titled and there was nothing wrong with it), this was the woman who needed her entire condo replumbed, didn't have the money, didn't ask Daddy for that money, got a plumber to come in and do days and days worth of work, and lots of new pipes etc were purchased by him, and afterward, when he gave her the bill, she said "I can't pay this now, but I will pay you when I can, you will just have to wait".

I quit going, and realized the craziest thing I had been doing was going to this woman for help! Funny thing, I had run up a bill with her, got some money, paid some of her bill, but still owed her. I had to file bankruptcy, chapter 13, where you pay your creditors a portion of what is owed, the court decides, she was sent the paperwork to get paid, but never bothered to send it back in.