Bipolar/Aspergers support and chat thread

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I'm also bipolar type II, I was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder because that's what my manic state looks like. It was only on my third hospital admission that my doctor said that she had observed two distinct mood states. Another doctor had tentatively diagnosed me as bipolar when I was twelve but retracted it because a) bipolar is hard to diagnose in children, they're usually diagnosed with ADHD instead and b) I had just been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and apparently it's hard to diagnose mood and personality disorders in people on the spectrum because that can account for a lot of the symptoms. (I'm not sure how bipolar and Aspergers can be confused exactly, but there you go)

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I have ALWAYS a flat affect, so psychiatrist usually always first diagnose me depression, no matter what mood I'm in.
And sometimes I get evelated and all exited even when I'm not hypomanic

Yeah I guess. Although I was so used to being flat, when I started to get depressed I didn't even notice the difference. I thought my depression was a normal state of being. It was only when I was diagnosed I was forced to accept that being depressed isn't my 'rational' mind, it's just the other phase of my illness. D'oh.

I mean more that I LOOK on the outside like haveing a flat affect. Very often I show no emotion or not that many, eventhough when I have them, but can't show them. And that's autism and not depression. Depression feels different.
And sometimes I get all exited, but this doesn't necesseraly has to be a hypomania. I also can look pretty "normal" when I'm in fact hypomanic, so the combination can be really difficult to diagnose.

From an American perspective, it can be: Basically, with Asperger's, like with a (hypo)manic episode, you can get irritability, anger attacks, hyperactivity, and hyperfocus. In the U.S., at least, there seems to be a tendency to consider any sort of that combination of symptoms as bipolar disorder, even if there are no clear distinct mood episodes. For bipolar, though, there should be clear cycling longer than 1 day (and it can't be simply that some days are good days or bad days), and for that you will need to look over time, but clinicians are often tempted to throw out a diagnosis right away, especially in the U.S., because without a diagnosis they cannot get reimbursement from insurance, not even on the intake session when the clinician is just starting to get to know the patient.

That the clinician was not watching you for the cycling over time was not good.

Well my self harm is just getting to be more so. Somehow I'm still hypomanic. I need to stop, but cutting decreases the intensity of would-be-manic episodes. My parents know about my 'depression' and I'm at risk of being put on SSRIs. What would happen to me (probably bipolar NOS, kinda between types I and II) if that happened?

Usually you can distinguish between Bipolar I and Bipolar II.
They don't have such a huge overlapp as thought in the past.

Hypomania goes past the point where it gets unpleasant and I want it to stop. The world looks like someone turned up the color contrast a bit, senses apparently sharpened. I think atypical things (suicidal, wanting to tell my parents about that I suspect I'm bipolar, thinking I can kill myself with as little as a gram or two of a certain medication, when it'd probably take 3 or 4) Fortunately I haven't been in the wrong situation at the wrong time yet. Is that bipolar I or II?

Oh and I have had mixed episodes.

yeah sounds like it.

Usually in Bipolar I first comes the manic episode and afterwards the depressive episode and in Bipolar II it's usually the other way around. (Not talking about the first episode)

How does it sound like it?

And what do you mean by comes first?

What you describe sounds for me like a mixed episode.
But if I were you, I would go to a professional. Bipolar is a very serious illness and can get worse.



I make an example:

I usually have mostly "normal" mood for a certain period or time, then suddenly depression starts what will stay for weeks or months and right afterwards I'll have a hypomanic episode. Afterwards I'll have a mostly "normal" mood again for a certain period of time.

So after a "normal" mood, I first had depression and afterwards hypomania. So I've classic Bipolar II symptoms.

Things started getting more intense for me in September/October, quite depressive. Then I had rapid cycling, ultraradian, for a while, and then it went to depressive for weeks, a few days to a week in between of normal or mixed, then hypomanic/manic at peak for a few weeks, then another few days to week of normal or mixed, depressive, and so on.

I've also sometimes the feeling my hypomania is getting "too high", but I never get delusional or something. So it's clear that it's actually hypomania.
If I were you, I would go to an expert, to a psychiatrist. Because otherwise it can happen, that you'll always have ultrarapid cycling and that's very unblessing. Bipolar tends to get worser over the years.

I make a moodchart, it helps me to keep track of my mood.
http://www.psychiatry24x7.com/content/b ... _chart.pdf

What do you mean by ultrarapid cycling?

Nothing specific, just that you could end up with rapid cycling or worse ultraradian cycling.
Bipolar tends to get worse over time.