Dumb things Mental Health Professionals say

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"You can't have social anxiety, because you are autistic and autistic people don't have feelings."

"You MUST forgive" (implied: your toxic, narcissistic, perv, abusive, monstruous "parents".

What I'm thinking (screaming quietly inside, but not always able to tell, as I'm very often misunderstood, unheard and so on...): No, no, NO. The priority is to forgive yourself first, so you can become free from the pain of abuse (including self-abusive behavior). Otherwise, you'll remain a life long prisoner, or be doomed to martyrdom. You have a precious, vulnerable life. LIVE it and finally thrive. (self-advice I give myself and/or I've overheard in the strangest places, including popular wisdom. Some people are way wiser than professional therapists. Some so-called "professionals" are even abusive/incompetent/insane themselves (sounds cliché, I know, but some clichés are here for a reason). I could write a whole, fat book about this topic.
Both autism and the aftermath of abuse are sensitive topics and are often misdiagnosed, neglected or considered taboo subjects, even among professionals. some really, really disappointed me and let me down when I needed them the most.

Anyway, I'm still hanging in there, hopeful and carefully optimistic, as I did find IRL in a nearby place, a nice, confident, competent person who has probably a high IQ himself, and who treats me nicely for a change, with all the competence, patience and respect that I really deserve.

Today I made him laugh, and it felt so good to laugh WITH someone, instead of being laughed at. So yeah, I'm alive and most well.

I do hypnotherapy, mindfulness and qi gong on a daily basis.

And what if your own blood family IS a demonic cult?! Some toxic dysfunctional families operate like that.

Cults prey on vulnerable people and on the human desire to "belong". Well, I belong to no one, I'm not an object but a person, and I've been used to live (or survive/make do) on my own for as far as I can remember, which makes me a terrific survivor (some forme perps are scared of me and my empath's bouts of pure rage, though I'm slowly learning to use and canalize the energy of anger much better than before). Abuse and/or neglect is also making a lonely, terrified and disoriented three year old kid go to kindergarden all on her own (true story). None of the so-called "responsible adults" ever reacted to the fact that I was forced to walk all alone in the streets at such a young age, with no parent, no responsible adult to ever hold my hand. People often tend to blame this on the time period "you were born at the wrong era, this wasn't a known issue then, BS, abuse of young children and.or vulnerable adults is as old the world. Nothing's new under the sun.

At age 45, an insanely perverse, incompetent and abusive social worker tried (and failed) to put me into foster care. REALLY?! I'm still planning to press legal charges against her.

I recently called an official welfare administration who supposedly help elderly and/or disabled people who are abused. I was not helped, nothing was done against the perp(s) and the nurse in charge was abusive herself. She didn't listen believe nor heard me, put me in danger in asking for my name/address (when I try so desperately to hide from all kinds of bullies). I you do tell the sad, terrible truth about abuse, prepare for backlash, not help.

Said nurse gave the name/phone number of a person in charge of a charity/association who is supposed to help people with autism. But here we go again with advice as stupid as "let's do TCC", you MUSt do this, and you MUST do that. Also, said person judges me without even knowing me, makes comparison with other persons with autism, and so on... Plays the "savior" and re-victimizes me. Also does a very upsetting/unsettling thing which consits in breaking promises made, not considering your life important or your situation as a priority (there's always worse situations than yours bla bla bla, making insane comparisons while you're in a suicidal crisis and barely hanging in there). And by upsetting and breaking promises I mean making an apppointment to come and meet me, then canceling and rescheduling, which makes you feel like you're unimportant, that your life doesn't matter and so on... Also, just judging and giving irrealistic advice. I haven't met that person in charge that I already hate her and know she will do nothing for me.

Btw, I know that personnally, I have exceptional coping skills. I still attract a lot of bullies (who abuse the legal system to deprive me from my most essential rights and freedoms, making a perverse interpretation of the law that only profits and benefits them. I tend of course, to make a litteral interpretation of the law, and I'm often amazed to see how often the one that has the most wealth/power has "more" rights than the vulnerable, isolated person with autism (and/or other disabilities).

Like Jenny Holzer famously said "abuse of power comes as no surprise".

"Here ... sleep with this amethyst under your pillow." -- The jagged little rock was the size of a hen's egg, and there was no way I could have slept with something that big under my pillow!

Gosh, this is going to be my "fave" topic. this is really a pet peeve of mine.

All of my therapists (maybe I've seen too many of them which kinda turns me into a "hypochondriac", though I know my pain, both mental and physical is very real, as well as my suicidal tendencies) in hindsight, were incompetent, to say the least. They do not agree on a common diagnosis, which only adds to the confusion. They give me legal advice (wtf) on my situation, but don't even do their basic medical job properly. Some are abusive/pervs themselves who choose to be caregivers in order to have daily access to desperate, vulnerable people. Some play the "savior" part, but do not know how to help without hurting hypersensitive people. I exhausted myself (recurring burn out) trying to explain to them what I was going through. We live in such a competitive society that they call each other "crook" or "mobster". Some (too few) recognized the reality of abuse, but denied the (many, overlapping) disabilities. Including the most physical; obvious ones. Not everything is "psychological" nor in my head.

Most of them are cold, uncaring, indifferent to your distress (I am more compassionate and have more empathy than most) and simply make statements, judgements and give advice. But do nothing real to protect you, don't even lift their fat asses from their chairs, put you back into double binds (no real choice, no freedom), exploit ruthlessly your distress (on a financial level, though they know you can't work and/or have little to no money, that you barely survive on welfare money, which you had to fight way too hard to get anyway.

Plus, if you had a traumatic childhood and/or have been bullied they dismiss your pain, do not hear, do not believe you and so on... Like the three little monkeys, you know.

Oh, and last but not least, you're not supposed to complain nor be negative about anything. Just... "let it go". Does that mean to give up my most basic rights and freedoms? I simply do not get NT, and they do not get me.

I do want to end on a positive note, I am still alive (I've survived way too much), and I have at least one competent, compassionate and caring neighbor in my life. But still too many wealthy, powerful bullies. I want them all in prison. I can become very obsessed with crime and punishment, then decide it's not my life's calling.

I just know what my calling is and want to learn how to monetize it, have a healthier relationship with money.

My priority is of course a better relationship with myself first (self care is very important and it is not selfish as so many try to make us believe and/or guilt trip us), then with a few chosen others. I have at last one real everyday relationship with a good person, and that feels SO good.

Man, why can't that be the 'correct' English word, the one you invented is like channel's classier sibling.

I've been lucky in that most mental health professionals I've known have either been brilliant, or harmlessly ineffectual. But when I was 18 a bad panic attack led to an appointment with a senior psychiatrist who scared me off getting help for another 10 years. She just gave off wierd-in-a-bad-way vibes that even I could pick up.

At any rate, ten years later I ended up back in her office. I'd just been put on antidepressants by my doctor the previous week. She asks; "Do you think they're working?" I say "I can't really tell." (Not knowing at the time that they can take a while to work.) "Well in that case, there's no point in you taking them, is there now," she replies briskly. End of subject. Well, she's the expert, I think. The following week, my doctor asks how I'm doing on the antidepressants. I tell him I've stopped taking them on advice from the psychiatrist. He looks down at the report and says, "She said nothing of the kind."

Now, either this Nurse Rached wannabe was so careless and unprofessional that she didn't think I'd treat what she said as her professional advice, or else she was trying to entrap me into joining the ranks of her sectioned victims. A close friend I met much later was in the hospital she ran for several years, and describes this psychiatrist as a petty, manipulative control freak insuffuciently competant to make it in any other business. So I'm not sure which. Either way, a dick move to pull on someone who was at risk of suicide and who did need the antidepressants, actually.

"You're a man, and men know nothing about real anxiety." (No, I really feel anxious about speaking to people.)

"You think people don't like you only because you are a loner." (No, I am a loner because people do not like me.)

A neuropsychiatrist told me I was a « dyslexic of the thought ». That doesn't make any sense.

What a sexist BS!

Yes, and she was a feminist/atheist as well.

What should ever one's religious beliefs (or disbeliefs) have to do with it?

Well, a sexist, feminist, atheist, New-Age conspiracy theorist whose personal morality would have made Simone de Beauvoir look like a penitent nun may not have been the perfect choice for me while I was seeking an objective and level-headed psychological counselor.

Last edited by Fnord on 03 Oct 2020, 1:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't even know political opinions or religious beliefs of my psychologist and psychiatrist - I only know the psychologist needed explanations to my Bible references, so she's not an engaged Christian, but that's all about it. She's a professional.

Exactly the kind of counselor for whom I was looking.  Instead, I ended up with some third-tier hack who should have been receiving counseling instead of giving it.  She told me all those things about herself during our first session.

Simone Beauvoir actually wanted to become a nun until she turned atheist in her later teens.