Say Something Random: psychological Conditions Version

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The angel on my shoulder is like a separate mental monologue that mostly spouts nonjudgmental patient and forgiving reasonings whenever I felt like I had to hit myself over...

.. Before it encourages me to get over my pride, be brave enough to cry or be humbled, don't resist so that it'll upset me or bottle it up.


Far, far removed from my escalating thoughts that tries to justify what I did as perceived wrong.

And far removed from the rigid mindset that may espouse denial or even my usual patterns of finding 'reasons why they did XYZ' as an attempt to 'forgive'.

Also, it does not 'conflict' against my processes.
Because if that were the case, I'd be overwhelmed in a sense that will make my head spin internally strongly enough to end up fogged and numbed due to overwork and overthink.



The weirdest thing is that...
... If someone else says the same things, or if I read it elsewhere even if it's me from another time, it just doesn't feel the same.

I'd end up judging that it's just them and what they'd do -- and not me. And end up doing the opposite or worse.

But not these thoughts.

I cannot simply judge that it is imposed by someone else's standards, else's biases, beliefs, perception, etc.

It came from my head after all.
More especially during such state.

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I think I therapised my shrink today

Goid job BB. , you could hope your therapist might give you a fiscount next time...Lolololz.

It'll be the end of my treatment soon I think so we're just messing about

I was pretending to do the emdr on him

Congrats...on finishing up ....hope it stays with you for the best results

Thanks man

We're not totally finished yet but i know how much better I am

Whenever someone assumes why I'm not interested in socializing meant 'I got hurt being rejected, I get afraid of rejection, I reject them before they reject me' spiel; then they're projecting or barking on the wrong tree...

And the reason why that annoys me, especially when some assume and thought I'm denying the 'need to be included' it's because that's what my mom assumed and took her years to realize that mistake after repeatedly saying NO to her.

If that were true in my case, I would've admitted it long time ago, along with admitting my big bloated ego.

I don't see anything shameful about such story, not especially when it's so common...

... It's just that it's just not the case with me.

The reality might be that I thought it's something I need or want in childhood.
But it's more like chasing an idea or a promise that doesn't fulfill me at all; it's like liking something because everyone does it, and realized that's not what I want or if I do it's not for the same reasons...


Like...
People socialize because they're lonely, crave human interaction and emotional connection.
I socialize because I'm bored as heck.

The former is a human social emotional need that is the second to third lower tier of the Maslow's pyramid of needs, somewhere at the deficient needs at the motivation model.
The latter is just a need for mental stimulation and entertainment at the second to the very top of Maslow's pyramid of needs, somewhere at growth needs at the motivation model.

We ain't the same.

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My trouble is is that I wanna do everything all at once and I've got no patience to wait

My shrink said that my boredom threshold, impulse control and the fact I need instant gratification is like that if a 7 or 8 year old child

This is something I'm working on

I don't know what all the hype about empathy is me

Been tested for ADHD... yet..? impulse control..? or did you already address that question ?

Oh yeah I'm diagnosed with it...have been since 2006

I'm being terrorised by my inner child

^^^. LoLzzzz...^^^^^

I keep on waking up high anxiety/panicky after sleeping 3-4 hours and can’t go back to sleep. Damn PTSD. It’s just a rough patch that will pass as it has before, but it sucks while it’s here.